DEAR STRANGER EDITORS: I must respond to your article "Is Tina Pod Seattle's Own Mussolini?" [Alexandra Holly-Gottlieb, Oct 21.] While I know The Stranger vigorously and thoroughly researches all of its articles, there were a few glaring misrepresentations I feel compelled to correct:
1. Mussolini was very short. At five feet nine inches, I am much taller than "Il Duce."
2. As Dictator, Mussolini enjoyed a lifetime appointment. I was elected citywide for a four-year term.
3. Mussolini demanded that the trains [in Italy] run on time. As a city council member, I cannot control the construction of a train system via Sound Transit, or even the monorail schedule.
4. Mussolini favored pasta. Being Polish, I prefer pirogies.
5. Hollywood would never make a film called Tea with Podlodowski, as everyone (including the mayor and the police chief) knows that I prefer a good chardonnay.
6. Mussolini enjoyed being called "Il Duce." While I find that to be a lovely and mellifluous appellation, I am afraid the closest I've come to a title during my term has been "Big Dyke."
Thank you for this opportunity to correct the record.
Councilwoman Tina Podlodowski
P.S. Mussolini and I also had very different reactions to excessive noise levels. He was overly fond of the firing squad. The city council's proposed Noise Ordinance allows for a ticket and a small monetary fine.
ASSHOLES: The circus is having enough trouble without incontanent legislators threatening to imprison our animals by making there performances illegal [Last Days, David Schmader, Oct 14]. It's bad enough that those pricks who enjoy torturing Americans (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA) want to deprive these majestic circus animals the joy of performing for audiences without your idiot reporter, David Schmuckter, being such a jerk idiot asshole.
Go ahead, back the idiot politicians and there dream of big burocratic government, go ahead and try to destroy if you can the oldest and most wholesome form of traditional family entertainment, go ahead and take an easy swipe at clowns, but you know what I think? I think the Horrible Mayor Schnell should extend this stupid legislation to it's natural and obvious end: the eradication of reactionary idiot newspaper people! I'll see you in hell, fuckers!
Blammo the Clown
David Schmader responds: Dear Blammo, I am sorry you were born into such a reprehensible vocation. But like slaveshipmen, silent film actors, and tobacco farmers, you must accept that yours is a dead profession. Shelve the greasepaint, buy some shoes that fit, and STOP TERRIFYING ME.
DEAR PERSONS: Regarding the article "Close to Stalking: Transgressing Literature with Mary Gaitskill," by Terminator [Stranger Books, Oct 21]: While we would like to thank Mr. "Terminator" for his recognition of Pistil's contribution to the "prissy gay guy" community, we feel compelled to inform Stranger readers, for their own safety, that our shoplifting policy does not include following shoppers around, issuing witty tête-à-têtes. Shoplifters are handled by Mr. Woodchipper, in the back.
Pursing my lips,
Sean Carlson, Pistil Books
DEAR EDITORS: Okay, this article by Kathleen Wilson on the Go ["Detroit Novelty," Oct 21] is the last straw. I swear to God, if she doesn't start writing about MUSIC I will hunt her down like the dog she is! The Go is an amazing band writing great music, and all she could [write] about is how they dressed! WHO FUCKING CARES?
Kathleen: Why are you talking about retro fashion anyways, you Bettie Page wannabe?! Also, I'm sick of reading her "It's My Party" column, 'cause all it is is her chance to name-drop. She reminds me of those stupid 15-year-old girls at shows I get stuck talking to. I bet her next column is going to have this line: "I was talking to Eddie Vedder when Chris Cornell came in, and he was all like 'Wow Kathleen, you're soooo beautiful. You should be on the cover of my next album.'" What [The Stranger] needs to do is get a columnist who actually knows what's going on with the scene; and get some good articles about music, not the pure crap ripped straight out of The Rocket. To sum this up, Kathleen Wilson: YOU FUCKING SUCK!
Kevin Flush, via e-mail
Kathleen Wilson responds: I was talking to Eddie Vedder when Chris Cornell came in, and he was all like "Wow Kathleen, don't you just hate jealous, misogynistic creeps who chat up 15-year-old girls at my shows? Let's write a song about it and put it on my next album. We'll call it 'Jackass Kevin.'"
DEAR EDITORS: I care deeply about the homeless in our city, and believe more can be done to find solutions to our homeless crisis. Charlie [Chong] is trying to make "repealing the civility laws" -- the Parks Exclusion Ordinance and the no loitering ordinance -- a wedge issue in this campaign, diverting [attention from] helping our most desperate citizens. The best mechanism to helping people left behind by our city's economic prosperity is to focus more dollars on social services to help the homeless. If it is not acceptable for people to sleep or publicly urinate in our neighborhood parks, then we must commit to more funding for shelters, public restrooms, and hygiene centers.
Throughout my campaign, and my career in local government, I have supported additional funding for drug and alcohol treatment programs, counseling services, education programs, job training programs, food banks, and other services to help those most in need. This is where Charlie Chong and I greatly differ. Instead of offering compassionate and thoughtful solutions to our homeless crisis, Charlie has joked that we should "offer the homeless a bottle of wine in Bellevue."
Insensitive remarks like these have no place in a campaign from someone wishing to represent all the people in Seattle, including our homeless citizens. While I am not a defender of the "civility laws," I believe the city has a responsibility to uphold reasonable behavior by all its citizens in our parks, and at the same time show respect for all people -- without discrimination based on race, gender, or economic background.
There are other laws (which are sometimes lumped into the "civility laws" category) that I have advocated repeal or significant changes for: the Teen Dance Ordinance, the poster ban, and the Noise Ordinance just vetoed by Mayor Schell. Let's redirect the debate to making a real difference for those people who most need our help and compassion.
Heidi Wills, Candidate for Seattle City Council, Position 7
Charlie Chong responds: Heidi, it's wrong to hate the homeless. Just as it is wrong to deny them wine. I recall breakfast this morning. There was no wine, but there was fruit. A delicious papaya. I like to eat the papaya and then let my dog Sneakers lick the rind. Wait... did you hear that? Never mind. Heidi, you are beautiful and from Holland. But comparing fiscal responsibility to public urination is like feeding steak to a seagull -- the seagull won't appreciate it, and besides, I like steak. And these are the type of things I'm saying about.
EDITOR: I am writing in response to Mary Martone's article "Women Get Dirty" [Oct 21]. I have a few concerns. The gist of my interest revolves around the issue of gender. Being male, would I be admitted into the night's festivities? I presume so for two reasons: One, Mary didn't say the event was for women only (maybe she assumed her readers would understand that she meant women only); secondly, my exclusion would be (I assume) because of my gender and/or sexual orientation. Blatant [discrimination] as such does not seem like the type of attitude supported by The Stranger.
But what would happen if I showed up at this "Pussy Potluck," seeking admission? Do I expect to be admitted? Of course not! I know for a fact that bisexual and lesbian women are allowed in "gentlemen's" (adult) clubs. Also, a friend of mine has witnessed women present in the sex-oriented clubs for men he has frequented. Although not always the easiest of approaches, acceptance is a two-way street. If I'm expected to be open-minded about other lifestyles, I should expect to be accepted in other lifestyles' environments.