JUST LIKE DEAR OL' DAD: Antony and his bf were grabbing a bite at Elephant & Castle Fri 1/28, when in walks brooding '80s rock star Morrissey, surrounded by a pack of black-clad, fortysomething cronies! Antony crows, "Mmmm... he looked gooood! He may be old enough to be my dad, but I would still do him!" You and eight percent of Seattle, Antony! ··· When the Elephant & Castle staff finally figured out they were in the presence of a Big Rock Star, they outdid themselves, giving Morrissey's table AN ENTIRE FREE PLATE OF NACHOS! Wow!!

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GET ON THE BUS! OR DON'T! When you're used to driving around in your Beemer, Metro bus etiquette can be mighty perplexing! (I should know!) Seems brooding '90s rock star Krist Novoselic had an unfortunate "episode" Mon 1/24, 3:45 pm. Near First and Bell, Krist wandered in the back door of the #15 bus -- but once in the stairwell he stopped short, wondering aloud if he was in the Ride-Free Zone. Even after a fellow commuter affirmed that yes, he was, the penny-pinching bass player continued to stand there as if in a daze. A line of anxious, chilly Seattleites was forming behind the lanky, politically aware rocker, but he didn't budge until someone shouted "MOVE IT, JACK!!" Krist finally parked his butt, mumbling an apology -- then got off the bus TWO STOPS LATER!

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SHERM... SHORN!! Christy at fallsapart.com -- the production company of sexy Spokane/Coeur d'Alene scribe Sherman Alexie -- testifies that Sherm no longer has his infamous mullet! She says, "His hair is quite short now, and all one length." Not long ago Sherm defended his precious mullet as the ultimate Indian power 'do... so what happened? Christy speculates, "It just took too long to deal with it each morning... it was LONG!" Fallsapart.com sports an array of hot mullet pix (none nude, alas), and Christy assures me "the new Sherm" will debut soon.

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NUDIES ON VIDEO: Do you REALLY want to see Dale Chihuly nekkid? I know I do! I hear the video Chihuly Over Venice ($25 from portlandpress.net) features The Man Himself being interviewed IN THE BATHTUB. Ewww! ··· A bod made for radio? We'll see about THAT! Lisa Foster INSISTS I keep an eye out for the TV spot promoting KOMO radio's "Birthday Game," where I can ogle Pat Cashman in the raw... but only from the waist up!

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TV TYPES: Frank was eating a steamed pork bun in Pike Place Market when he ran into tattooed, Harley-ridin', whitebread KING-TV personality John Curley! He notes, "Wow! Curley actually laughed at my jokes! No 'fuck off' vibe like with certain other local TV celebs...." Gee, who could Frank be referring to? ··· T. J. was sooooo excited to see cute Canadian Bruce McCullough from Kids in the Hall strolling through the Bebe shop in Bellagio, dressed to the nines -- but WHOOPS! Turns out it was actually hometown Q13 news anchor Leslie Miller, hot hot HOT on the trail of some haute couture.

My fledgling nudie gallery's up-at www.thestranger.com! shirley@thestranger.com!