It's 11:20. I know you take a crap at 11:30. I had a surprise for you today. I saved two packs of fire sauce from Taco Bell just for you. I placed the packs under the toilet seat with the bumpers softly resting on top of them. Yes, it's 11:30, and here you come. You use the same stall every day. Then, as you sat your old ass down -- POP! POP! You got fire sauce all over your nut sack!
I bet that felt good. After you were done screaming, you called security. What were they going to do? Put some sauce on their tacos? And none of this would have happened if you would get off your ass and do your job sometimes.
-- Anonymous (but laughing my ass off)