A packed 'n' screaming house learned the true meaning of the word "pizzazz" this past Thursday at Consolidated Works, where 15 freakishly talented acts competed for an absolutely stunning array of prizes in The Stranger's first annual, citywide talent show, PIZZAZZ! Hosted by The Stranger's own David Schmader and blessed with not one but two mind-blowing guest spots by the inimitable Dina Martina, PIZZAZZ! paraded a cornucopia of singers, dancers, needle-eaters, slam poets, and inexplicably masked goth freaks before a panel of celebrity judges, including Q13 anchor Leslie Miller, Fastback Kim Warnick, Insurance Commissioner/U.S. Senate hopeful Deborah Senn, retired Superior Court Judge Terry Carroll, and beloved sex columnist/alleged felon Dan Savage. Third prize went to the charming, crowd-pleasing, and highly original musical performance of the Trachtenberg Family Players; second prize to the enthralling sonic storm of the Anzanga Marimba Ensemble; and first prize to the sultry stomach-shimmying of belly dancer Sabura (pictured right). Sabura trotted off with a fabulous Grand Prize package, featuring dinner for two at both Atlas Foods and Coastal Kitchen, full passes for two to both Bumbershoot and WOMAD, a 10-week training session with Future Stars Model and Talent Agency (including audition coaching and photo shoot), AND, courtesy of Asian Pacific Travel, an all-expenses paid trip for two to Disneyland! "Holy fuck!" you say. "I didn't know the prizes were gonna be THAT good!" That'll learn you to underestimate your favorite alternative newsweekly, you shithead. (Auditions for next year's PIZZAZZ! will be held Easter weekend, 2001. See you there!)