Okay. So a bunch of Californians have moved here, making our roads impossible to navigate and our housing prices skyrocket. So movies like Sleepless in Seattle have made us a tourist destination, and doomed us to a life of peddling pink Sleepless in Seattle nightshirts. I can deal with all of that.

What I can't deal with is a large, obnoxious land/water vehicle storming through downtown on a regular basis playing "Macho, Macho Duck" and blowing duck whistles all goddamn day. Some of us actually live and work here, you obnoxious bastards! How can we rid ourselves of this annoyance? How can we get tourists to stop getting suckered into a ride on "The Duck" and channel them into more healthy entertainment? Seattle's only defense is to make the ride as horrific as possible, an experience no rider will ever forget. Let's "show our civic pride" by mooning and exposing nasty body parts any time "The Duck" drives by. If you have an unsightly growth on your body, why don't you let the obnoxious tourists see it? "The Duck" is evil. It must be stopped.