The Blond Man reached behind the seat of his old Porsche and produced a cigar. Without removing the wrapper, the Blond Man began to chomp on the cigar and leer and gesture at the woman, who was stopped in the next car over. The woman laughed nervously at the Blond Man's unexpected and Freudian behavior. Then, frantically, the Blond Man produced a corked bottle of wine. He pointed to the woman. He pointed to the wine. He tipped the bottle up and mimed chugging. The woman looked away. What was up with this nut, anyhow? Suddenly, the Blond Man pulled an inexplicable camera from the back seat. He displayed it for the woman's inspection. She stared straight ahead, pretending not to see. At last, the traffic light turned green and the confused, disturbed woman squealed away.
And the Blond Man? Defeated, he made a sharp turn into the garage of KING 5 studios.Oh, Blond Man.Another traffic light, another local newscaster, another strange en- counter. The "woman" in the next car was familiar, but how? The man couldn't place her. Was it Kids in the Hall star Bruce McCulloch in drag, with a crazy blond wig, ironic makeup, and a tacky dress? From the side, the man thought it could be. Then the woman turned and looked at the man, full on. Of course! The woman was Q13's Leslie Miller! But Leslie Miller in the passenger seat of a "crappy car"? The man thought that was odd. Leslie looked at the man. The man looked at Leslie. Excited, the man nodded and smiled. Leslie did not. Leslie looked away. She scowled. The man was crushed.Oh, Leslie.Fred Meyer. A thin, thin woman in a dress that was probably stolen from Nordy's. The clerk pondered the thin woman. Could it be the infamous kleptomaniac from TV news? Indeed! What was the Thin Klepto buying (as opposed to stealing)? An extra-strength laxative! Could the clerk order more laxative, the Thin Klepto asked? She would need much more. Yes, the clerk could. The Thin Klepto gave her phone number, paid, and left. Somehow, the clerk thought, it all made perfect sense.Oh, Klepto.All-stars at the All-Star: Freddie Prinze Jr. of I Know What You Did Last Summer fame and James Van Der Beek of great-big-head-and-sculpted-eyebrows fame were seen, together, at the All-Star game, while none other than Johnny Carson, probably unable to score tickets, was spotted eating crab at Palisade restaurant in Magnolia.Oh, Johnny.
