FRONT OF BOOK Letters: There were letters?... Last Days: Mr. Schmader offers many a witty insight/very mean... NEWS News Lead: Interesting, well-written story-why is it in The Stranger?;... News Follow(s): Yet another monorail article. Are there no other subjects in Seattle? Didn't read; Mr. Kearney's record-store article smacks of a blatant attempt to lure advertisers; Didn't read... IONS: Didn't read... Five to Four: Somewhat heartwarming (has Mr. Feit turned over a new leaf?)... FEATURE It's surprising that when The Stranger runs a story on female breasts, said story is not about a desire for them to be larger/a good read... FILM Highly literary/uninteresting... Film Follow: didn't read... BOOKS A rather harsh slap at a Stranger competitor/well written... VISUAL ART None (again)... THEATER Only a handful of reviews (it still fares better than Art)... CHOW Didn't read... MUSIC Music Lead: Unavailable at deadline... Music Follow(s): Didn't read; Ms. Levin offers a very complicated theory/ couldn't finish reading; Mr. Lippens dulls with a bloated vocabulary... ETC. It's My Party: Didn't read... One-Night Stand: Mr. Steinbacher spends more time being defensive than actually penning a review (why is he writing this column?)... Celeb I Saw U: Too gay... I Love TV™: Mr. Humphrey appears to have a lot of anger in him (is guidance needed?)... Savage Love: Mr. Savage returns to his old question/answer format (with usual mundane/dirty results)... Control Tower: Didn't read... Obits: Didn't read.