Yes, I'm a coffee girl. Yes, I know you're almost 50, divorced, and have two kids. But your comb-over isn't fooling anyone, and I can't help that I'm hotter than your ex-wife. You're a disgusting old man, so get it through your crusty head that I'm only nice to you because I have to be. Why do you need to shamelessly hit on me? You think you're so discreet, but I know you only tip me because you get to stare at my tits. I'm not stupid, the coffee isn't that good. You're a dirty old man and I'm 19! You can keep coming in everyday to order your little lattes, and keep imagining just how great the sex would be, as long as you tip well and realize it's NEVER going to happen. But if you ask me out one more time, I swear to god, I'm going to kick my Steve Madden boots up your old ass. I could go without your one-dollar tip a day. Thanks.