MONDAY, OCTOBER 28 The week begins with the shockingly sleazy saga of Steven Slaughter, the Seattle police officer hauled before Seattle's U.S. District Court today on charges of distributing heroin. Slaughter's twisted journey to the big house began back in August, when Seattle narcotics detectives received "vague information" about Officer Slaughter's shifty work habits. Apparently, word among street dealers pegged Officer Slaughter as a "cool" cop--one who'd bust you and take your stash, but never arrest you. Working with FBI agents as part of the Public Integrity Task Force, Seattle police began investigating the rumors about Slaughter, a 27-year-old Army veteran who joined the SPD in 1999. Key to the police investigation was the testimony of an informant--an unnamed street dealer--who revealed that Slaughter worked in tandem with a 32-year-old woman, who'd alert Slaughter to the existence of easily bustable drug dealers within Slaughter's Capitol Hill patrol sector. On duty and in uniform, Officer Slaughter would then "bust" the dealers, taking their stash and setting them free before meeting up with the woman, to whom he'd give a portion of the recovered goodies. After telephone records confirmed almost daily contact between Slaughter and his helper-monkey drug woman, investigators arranged an elaborate sting operation involving policemen, FBI agents, and another unnamed drug-dealer-turned-police-informant--this one a former pot dealer who'd gone to jail after being busted by Slaughter. (In a criminally sick twist, after the man was released from jail, Officer Slaughter approached him to buy pot, and eventually became one of the man's regular customers.) Last Friday, the sting operation went into full effect, with Officer Slaughter arrested for allegedly taking drugs and $64 cash from an undercover FBI agent posing as a dope dealer. True to form, Slaughter relieved the agent/dealer of his drug stash, then released him without arrest; later, Slaughter allegedly gave two of three confiscated baggies of heroin to the aforementioned pot-dealing police informant, and the sting was sealed. "He has forever tarnished this badge," said Seattle Police Chief Gil Kerlikowske today at a news conference, revealing his flair for the dramatic by producing the very badge Slaughter once wore and holding it aloft. "It will never again be worn," said Seattle's newly crowned drama queen. "In fact, it will be destroyed." Meanwhile, Officer Slaughter remains in police custody on a charge of heroin distribution, with many more charges to come. Stay tuned.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29 Following yesterday's mainstream-media-reliant item, today brings the beginning of Last Days' long-promised, hotly anticipated Hot Tip Rodeo Roundup. The roundup kicks off with this beguiling Hot Tip from two-wheeled Hot Tipper Steve, who was pedaling his bike from Capitol Hill toward the U-District when he received an impromptu lesson in the ravages of gravity and the limits of altruism. After passing Broadway's transition into 10th Avenue and Roy, Steve noticed in the road "one of those temporary, sandwich-board 'No Parking' signs." Swerving to avoid the sign, Steve steered "a little too close to some rather stout shrubbery," which whipped Steve's handlebars around 90 degrees and sent Steve tumbling head over heels onto the pavement, on which he rolled, crashing to rest against a garbage can. With blood streaming from a wound on his leg and pooling on the pavement, Steve sat on the curb and watched while no less than 12 people (he counted) walked by without acknowledging his mangled bike or bloody body in any way. "Kudos to the girl who spent five minutes unloading her car 15 feet from where I was sitting without saying a word," writes Steve, who described himself (at Last Days' insistence) as 28, Caucasian, with a pleasant demeanor and no intimidating personal effects (i.e., tattooed face, pierced spine). "Extra kudos to the family of three that said, 'Be careful,'" writes Steve. "At first I took it as a smart-ass comment, then realized it was a word of caution to their five-year-old not to step in my blood." In an e-mail exchange today, Steve (who, when he's not wrecking his bike, is a heart surgeon at Swedish) assured us that he's recovered fully from the crash, but remains "disappointed." "I just moved here six months ago from New York City, where I was never ignored like I was here," says Steve. "And people in New York ignore everybody." Thanks to Steve for sharing, and shame on all of those who heartlessly stepped over nice, white Dr. Steve as if he were some homeless person of color.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30 The Hot Tip Rodeo Roundup continues with a letter sent to Last Days from Hot Tipper Trent. Writing to thank us for our frequent below-the-belt bashing of the much-reviled, shockingly faggy tax-initiative brat Tim Eyman, Trent revealed precisely why our shameless Eyman fag-baiting gives him such glee. "I went to high school in Yakima with Mr. Eyman," wrote Trent, "and he made my life a living hell." Describing himself as "the token queer at West Valley High," Trent detailed his never-ending torment at the hands of the teenaged Eyman and his friends--including a public humiliation of near-Carrie proportions, in which the young gay Trent was made to compete, in front of the whole school, in a makeshift Dating Game, whose "girl" contestants were Tim Eyman and friends in drag. "Almost twenty years later, with Tim constantly in the news, I'm reminded of those horribly painful times," writes Trent. "But thanks to you and The Stranger, not to mention Eyman's own stu pidity, I have vengeance." Still, Trent knows Eyman's abilities shouldn't be underestimated. According to Trent, Eyman's tax shenanigans have gone over like gangbusters in the eastern half of the state, and if Trent's premonitions hold true, Last Days fans may one day read about the boneheaded antics of the shockingly faggy Senator Eyman.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31 Today brought an astonishing new chapter in the saga of Steven Slaughter, Seattle's favorite heroin-dealing police officer. Today the Seattle Post-Intelligencer published an interview with Karen Troiano, previously known only as the 32-year-old woman who helped Officer Slaughter shake down drug dealers, and shared in the take. Chatting with P-I writer Hector Castro, Troiano told how she met Officer Slaughter earlier this year, when Slaughter caught her smoking dope with her 38-year-old boyfriend on Capitol Hill. The boyfriend was arrested for outstanding warrants, but Officer Slaughter let Troiano go. Soon the two were friends, speaking on the phone almost daily and hatching the "dope dealer shakedown" plan described in Monday's item. During the Officer Slaughter sting operation, court documents record how Troiano bragged to an undercover FBI agent (posing as a needy heroin user) about her cool cop friend who gave her heroin and even let her smoke pot in his patrol car. Today Troiano offered even more details of her friendship with Slaughter, including anecdotes about helping Slaughter buy pot and shooting herself up with heroin in Officer Slaughter's cop car. "It was easy for us, because we had his badge." Not any more: Today a U.S. District Court charged Officer Steven Slaughter with four felonies, including possession of heroin, intent to distribute heroin, and extortion.




Dear Showgirls lovers: On Thursday, November 21, the glamorous Showbox will host a one-night-only, return-engagement screening of Paul Verhoeven's legendary cinematic disaster Showgirls, featuring an introductory lecture and live commentary by yours truly. Show's at 8:00 p.m., tickets are $8; for advance tix call 628-3151.