Love the Supremes

Oh, it's a beautiful day in the sexual-minority neighborhood. Can you say "landmark Supreme Court decision"? I knew you could. On Thursday, June 26, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Texas law that criminalized homosexual sodomy. And it's not just about Texas, of course--this ruling eviscerates sodomy laws in all the states that still have them on the books. So now I can also fuck girls in Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia without fear of arrest.

"The petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives," wrote Justice Anthony Kennedy in the majority opinion. "The state cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime." What an enlightened perspective, from several not-particularly-liberal jurists.

Justice Antonin Scalia's sharply dissenting opinion was predictable in its references to "the homosexual agenda." And Justice Clarence Thomas was also, of course, one of the naysayers. But his dissent did contain this faint glimmer of wisdom: "Punishing someone for expressing his sexual preference through noncommercial consensual conduct with another adult does not appear to be a worthy way to expend valuable law enforcement resources." Thank God that at least a few conservatives seem to be realizing that the country could save some money by not attempting to police private adult sexuality.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist just seems confused about the whole issue. In a somewhat perplexing response to the Court's decision, he told ABC's This Week: "I have this fear that this zone of privacy that we all want protected in our own homes is gradually--or I'm concerned about the potential for it gradually being encroached upon, where criminal activity within the home would in some way be condoned...." Let me get this straight, Bill--you're concerned about our "zone of privacy," but you think that letting the jackbooted thugs enforce laws regarding private, adult, consensual sex is going to somehow protect that zone from being encroached upon?

The Supremes' decision is a big step for everyone whose sexuality falls anywhere outside the lines of heterosexual vanilla monogamy. The Supreme Court has sent a very clear message to the government to stay out of our bedrooms, and that's what we want. Because being handcuffed for fun is great, but arresting people for having the "wrong kind" of sex is downright un-American.