This is what I call a heavy fear and resistance (F/R) scene. I say "heavy" because it involves deep victim/perpetrator role-play. That's edgy stuff, because if it's done right, it feels very real. That's what Jim likes about it. "The fear, the struggle--that's what gets me high," he says. "Even though intellectually they know it's a scene, they still respond to me from that instinctive, fight-or-flight place."
When I listen to stories like this, I reflect--not for the first time--on how many different ways there are to be kinky. I think Jim's scenes are great--for Jim. But while I can be a pretty mean girl, I just don't get turned on by people I'm playing with being afraid of me. Nervous as hell, yes--that's natural. But nervous in that excited, squirmy, riding-the-roller-coaster sort of way. Not deeply afraid. So although I've had people ask, I invariably decline to do deep F/R scenes, because feeling that my play-partner trusts me is part of my turn-on.
The reverse is also true. I've dealt with kinky people who annoyed me by behaving, in the tamest of social surroundings, as if I might attack them on the spot and drag them off by the hair. It's a brand of flirtation, of course, and I think they believe I'll be complimented by it. Oooh, you're so frightening, Mistress, look how you're making me quiver! However, I don't find it flattering, and it doesn't attract me at all. It's tempting to give them a card with Jim's e-dress. You want scary? Here's scary!
Or I might say to them: Rather than imagining me to be like a kinky werewolf who could suddenly leap at your throat during, say, a dinner party, think of me instead as one of those mannered, elegant vampires. Like them, I won't come into your house--or your head, or your body--unless you explicitly invite me.
