DEAR STRANGER READERS: It has been brought to my attention that the thickheaded powers that be at The Stranger have included my post as ombudsman as one of the purchasable items in the paper's Strangercrombie holiday auction. Not only that, but they have packaged the position along with a "noontime beer" with me. No doubt, said thickheaded powers that be (Tim Keck, Dan Savage, Bradley Steinbacher, et al.) assumed I would be angered and/or offended by such a "prank" on their part. The joke is on them, however, for not only am I not angered and/or offended, I am, in fact, delighted! At last the feeble-minded publishers of The Stranger will be given a chance to hear exactly just how idiotic, amateurish, and (occasionally) outright dangerous their paper can be straight from the horse's mouth. Finally you, the Stranger readers (you poor souls), will have your say completely free from the petty and insulting retorts from Stranger writers that so often litter the paper's meager letters section. Will one of the many Stranger enemies step up and purchase the position? Will the paper's competitor, the far superior Seattle Weekly, make the bold move? Will one of the hundreds of individuals who have been mercilessly attacked by the paper strike back in revenge? We shall soon find out. Be wary, Stranger employees, for your little "prank" may turn out to be a rather sizable blunder.