Fixate
Impeachment. Mmm. A scrumptious notion--crammed to its crannies with warm golden rays of Christo-fascist-free hope--and not simply due to its former associations with fellatio. I've been consumed with it recently. And perhaps we should all fixate upon the idea a little before nonspecific minorities are cattle-carted off to forced labor camps and/or all those North Korean nukes Bush ignored whilst bullying Iraq start dropping and/or all my future boyfriends get drafted (which could happen: Very few of my future boyfriends even know how goddamn gay they secretly are--yet). Or worse.
But this doesn't indicate that we have to discontinue obsessing about Danny Roberts and his pretty, pretty penis, which is a far more delightful and salubrious fixation than Republican-engendered Armageddon. Of course, each time the peepiest peep about that boy appears here (like last week--he's working for Windermere in Sandpoint? WHAT?), zillions of twitterpated Danny-hankering horndogs (representing a wide assortment of modern and traditional genders!) emerge to thoughtfully e-mail me that legendary shot of him sprawled naked and tan and furiously fisting his frenulum. And I appreciate their thoughtful efforts. And yet, I could wallpaper Pluto with the uncountable copies of that photo I've received by now. (Also, some say I've possibly seen the real thing in person--unfortunately, I could not be reached for comment.) And Danny claims it's a big fake cut-and-paste job anyhow.
Yes. That's exactly what he claims.
Elsewhere, in somehow even gayer news: Colin Farrell, who should fuck me, has recently double-dog-dared an irascible gang of litigious Greek revisionist heterosexist lawyers to go right ahead and fucking sue him and WB Studios for portraying Alexander the Great as the big buggery H-mo he really was. The clearly repressed group of Greek lawyers threatened some kind of vague and over compensatory legal action against his film Alexander. Says Colin, "So sue me! Try and tell me there's something wrong with it! Get out of your bigoted frame of thinking. It was a beautiful thing. We have... de-evolved because of our insistence on judging. Why is it even a big deal?" Sadly, George Bush and 11 nasty red states were busy ratifying gay discrimination into various state constitutions and were unavailable for comment.
Lastly: Bruce Willis, who is a prickish Republican Bushite who recently boasted to some Marines in Iraq that he'd like "just 10 minutes alone with Saddam Hussein," or something, is now massively suing Revolution Studios for all the physical and emotional suffering (boo hoo!) he allegedly endured from a boo-boo acquired while filming another violent, asshole-ish action/war film. Both karma and irony were cackling maniacally and unable to comment.
