8:03 p.m. It's one hour before our party begins and my staff for the evening arrives. Simone has worked for me before, but Ethan is a new boy, sent to me by a charming acquaintance who heard I needed some help. I'm curious to see how he'll handle the 70-something kinky guests who will be at my home tonight. I brief them on their duties and then I go back upstairs to finish getting ready.

8:27 My secondary partner Roman and his wife arrive, accompanied by Galahad, Roman's friend. The three of them are carrying numerous trays of beautiful party food that Galahad has prepared for me. I'm touched that he's gone to such trouble, and I exchange a smile with Roman, knowing he's behind it.

8:49 I go upstairs once again and put on the dress I've chosen for the evening. When I come back down, everyone in the kitchen stops and looks at me curiously. Max voices what they're all thinking: "You're wearing pink." I agree that yes, I am wearing a pink dress, and that I can do that because I am so utterly secure in my identity as a sadistic pervert. No one challenges that.

9:08 The doorbell rings with the first guests, and they are soon followed by another, and then another. It's a steady stream for the first hour. Ethan and Simone are busy answering the door, hanging up coats, and fetching drinks, leaving me free to greet everyone personally. I'm amused at what a stir my dress creates. A debutante in black latex could not get more raised eyebrows. "Pink?" everyone says, looking mildly shocked that I'm not wearing something tight, black, and menacing-looking. I'm beginning to think I should have done this years ago, based on how completely it seems to be fucking with some people's heads. "You look good in that color, actually," one man says in tones of wonder.

9:46 A guest compliments me on my two slaves-meaning Simone and Ethan. I tell him that in fact they aren't my slaves, and that I'm paying them for the work they're doing. Having a full-time slave, I say, is like having a sailboat-it's pretty and fun to play with, but it requires lots of time and effort to maintain.

10:23 I show my friend Shane my new BDSM toy, an electrified dog collar. The collar has a small receiver unit, and when a button on the wireless transmitter is pressed, it delivers a mild electric shock to the wearer-from up to a quarter-mile away. Shane, being an adventurous sort, drops his pants on the spot and offers to let me demonstrate on him. I wrap the strap around his cock and balls, so that the hotspot is pressed firmly against the back of his scrotum, and buckle it up tight. Then I walk around my party, chatting with my friends and pressing the button every little while. No matter where Shane is in the house, I know he's wincing in pain. He has no idea when each zap will come, or how strong it will be. I am delighted by such effortless sadism.

11:48 Max is down in the basement playroom, tying up someone else's date, and I'm getting a foot massage from Jae, having ceded the dog collar control unit to Shane's eager girlfriend. A fetish model sitting next to me pulls her top down to her waist and shows us the needle marks from a shoot she did the night before. I notice Ethan politely not staring as he picks up dirty glasses.

12:22 a.m. I open the bathroom door and find a beautiful woman tied to the handrail in the shower. She's naked and wet and two of my friends are doing evil things to her. Lovely.

1:05 Shane has to go home, so I remove the dog collar from his balls. His girlfriend asks me where she can buy a dog collar like this.

2:24 My friends who were doing the shower scene approach me with towel-tousled hair and we exchange smiles as they take their leave.

3:10 Everyone's gone, and the house is very close to spotless, thanks to my staff. I send them home with effusive thanks, and Max and I fall into bed.




A $50 prize goes to the sexiest leather-clad hunk. Seattle Eagle, 314 E Pike St, 621-7591, 9 pm-close, no cover for full leather, $3 for partial leather, $5 otherwise.


Spanking enthusiasts meet to eat, socialize, and discuss the pleasures of palm-meets-ass in a no-pressure environment. E-mail seattlespankers@yahoo.com for location, or see www.chastenwood.com, 7 pm.


Socialize, flirt, and do BDSM with the girls. All orientations welcome. This month's theme: Underwear Night. Wet Spot, 270-9746, women-only@wetspot.org, 9 pm-3 am, members only, female ID required, $15.



Love Lounge is an "adult social club" that holds events for bi women and male/female couples. www.lovelounge.net or lovelounge@lovelounge.net, 9:30 pm, no cover, membership required, 21+.



Learn about the ultimate furry at this "educational event." Shaw Northwest Room at Seattle Center. 12 pm-6 pm, free.



Host Dane Ballard's weekly talk show. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 8:30 pm, $7, 21+.



New Horizons swing club's midweek "potluck party." Bring a dish-hot, sweet, or otherwise-to share. Doors at 6 pm, orientation required for all guests and new members. Go to www.horizonsclub.com for info.