NEWS The Stranger news section: blight of my life, fire of my bowels. Among this week's alleged offerings: ERICA C. BARNETT on the viaduct, SARAH MIRK on a skatepark in Green Lake, JOSH FEIT on the political battle between Hong Tran and Maria Cantwell, and THOMAS FRANCIS in support of free-and-easy drug trafficking. Brilliant.

SHORT FEATURE Our Worst Enemy™: Cohousing with Christ

Once again, The Stranger subjects writer CIENNA MADRID—a guilt-free trollop who never met a writing assignment she couldn't pack with gratuitous curse words—to another allegedly excruciating experience, for the paper's inexplicably popular "Our Worst Enemy™" series. Ms. Madrid, you won't always be young, smart, and pretty. Perhaps you should spend your precious youth getting right with God, rather than finding 600 different ways of spitting in His holy face.

FEATURE The Quiet Patron

JEN GRAVES takes a break from watching paintdry to file an interesting— and, truth be told, far too coherent for the likes of The Stranger—feature story on a successful local arts space housed by the Department of Homeland Security. Artists on government property: It's not quite jail, but it's a good start.