Nothing about Britney Spears's gaping peekaboo gash. That's what I'm saying. Nothing! We shall not be exploring Britney Spears's revolting, pink, and aggressively photogenic nether maw. By which I mean her disgusting and gregarious she-clam. By which I mean her odious and attention-grabbing brine-hole that seems to be BURSTING to break FREE. And I'm not saying anything about it. Not. A God damn. Word. Thank you for your support.

In snatchier snatches: If you are unable to correctly guess the name of the fucking coked-out whore who screamed, "You're a fucking coked-out whore!" at another equally fucking coked-out whore, and then guess the name of the second fucking coked-out whore as well, then you're a fucking coked-out whore. So it's a good thing you guessed Paris Hilton and/or Lindsay Lohan, right? Right.

"Dear Adrian, We had a celebrity at Serafina—Michael Knight from Project Runway. He was having dinner with a group of people. When he left, I grabbed him like a big cheese ball to tell him how much I loved him. Such a nice and humble guy, I must say. So that's that!"—Kerry

Michael Knight at Serafina? Fabulous! But I wonder: Did this so-called Michael Knight sample the roast rabbit? And is the Project Runway Michael Knight in any way affiliated with (or the same as) the gay porn star Michael Knight? And did he try the rabbit? And exactly how many balls would a cheese ball grab, if a cheese ball could grab balls? And did he have the fucking rabbit? It's a mystery.

Even more mysterious perhaps were the comments regarding the comments I made at about that horrible KKKramer incident, which we are no longer talking about, damn it. I said something like, "I feel as if things are still a soupçon too sensitive right now to safely point out that the African American gentleman in question also expressed what might be considered to be, uh... a tad bit racist... also." And so he did. The poor affronted fellow did repeatedly call KKKramer (who I can't stop calling KKKramer) a big white "cracker," now didn't he? Of course he did. (And who could ever blame him?) In response I received... this. Behold:

"Dude, Your comments on the Kramer-'fucking cracker'-also-racist thing is so ignorant. As if you're making some real, equal point by inserting that snide comment at the end. No, you're not. You suck."—A

Well, A, as Confucius said, "It's as great a sin to take offense as to give it." That being said, you are a retarded whore. Thank you.