After the Sonics lost an overtime soul-eater to the Lakers on January 14, a Kobe Bryant fan stepped around the security tape, bent over a railing, and tried to touch his deity. Naturally, in this era of violent stalkers, a Seattle police officer ordered the fan to get back behind the tape. This contentious interaction between security and fans happens after every game, and the overaggressive guests usually return to their senses and obey police orders.

But this particular Kobe worshipper, a tiny man in size 6 shoes, snarled like a rabid squirrel.

"You fucking think you're a big man, don't you?" the fan said.

The huge cop, at least a foot taller and 80 pounds heavier, smiled at his wee enemy and pointed toward the exit. After cursing a few more times to prove that he didn't have to exit if he didn't want to, damn it, the fan, um, exited.

It's hilarious to watch men overdose on testosterone. I suspect that the small dude quickly calmed down and felt like an asshole.

Me? I walked to my car and, suddenly furious, pounded the steering wheel until I bruised my hand. I'm tired of watching an inconsistent, insecure, and inferior basketball team.