THE TAO OF TALENTLESSNESS
TO THE EDITOR: Tao Lin's article "What I Can Tell You About Seattle Based on the People I've Met Who Are from There" [May 1] just goes to show that a potentially hilarious topic in the hands of an untalented writer can go south quickly. Maybe for his next article he can learn another psychological term and latch on to it as he did with "existential." Now I know why he needs to resort to putting on a bear outfit to get people to listen to him. Is Tao talentless? Does a bear poo in the woods?
TO THE EDITOR: In regards to the comment that people in Seattle have choads, I can only assume that Mr. Lin meant (a) that men in Seattle have choads as I, as a woman, do not have a choad or any other kind of penis and (b) that he had not taken a good look at the genitalia of a representative portion of the male Seattle population. I have not noticed an excess of choads, or any kind of choads, on Seattle men. I have noticed that sex with men in Seattle lasts forever, like they might be wishing they were on a Marco Polo team but were trying really hard to be good at sex since they were in the uniform. I also assumed Mr. Lin was a woman—how odd.
GREETINGS, JONAH! Thank you for your piece on Bruce McLean ["Mr. Clean," Jonah Spangenthal-Lee, May 1]. You could have just trashed him from the restaurant perspective, but you saw the good intentions and integrity of the man. Bruce is a leader in our church (yes, he has spoken with us about our kitchen standards!) and I admire him very, very much. Thank you for lifting him up in The Stranger.
Rev. Cathy Barker
Magnolia United Church of Christ
LICENSE TO CHILL
TO THE EDITOR: Thanks to Jonah Spangenthal-Lee for his short piece on the DEPORT license plate [In Other News, May 1], and a curse on DOL for its apparently immovable position that this plate is not in violation of its policy. The policy states that plates that are offensive, derogatory, slanderous, or racist may be denied, and I am hard-pressed to see how this particular plate does not fall into at least one of those categories. (Anyone who agrees should send a complaint to Toni Smith in Vehicle Licensing at firstname.lastname@example.org.)
DOL spokesman Brad Benfield is quoted as saying he does not feel DOL is in a position to regulate someone's thoughts, as if this matter is in some way a personal free-speech issue. While I fully support this individual's right to express his opinion on a bumper sticker, or to tattoo it across his face if he feels the need, the State of Washington should not be in the business of propagating racist and/or personal political opinions (or of profiting from them through the plate fee).
If the state's policy is so open to interpretation that such a plate may be validly issued under current law, perhaps it is time to petition our legislators to rewrite that law. Or, better yet, to close down the entire personalized plates program. In the meantime, I encourage vehicle owners to use the fact that the plate review committee is not easily offended to their advantage. I plan to request DOL SUX, and I dare them to refuse it.
TO MARK THOMAS: You can buy me lunch any day, buster! I'd love to be "illuminated" by you [Letters, May 1]. So, the Constitution is "fixed." If that is the case, then we should be "fixed" in the 18th century—a time when if you were not white, land owning, and male you didn't count for much. Regardless of what you think of Ron Paul, the Constitution is based upon a history of laws that relied upon precedence to get where it is—therefore it is alive. If our nation's founding document was "written with no room for growth," then your mother wouldn't have been able to vote and police would be able to search your car whenever they damned well wanted to. However, if you'd like to be living in the 18th century, then you can show up to our lunch date astride a horse.
Although if you're over about age 35, odds are you would have been dead by now if we were all "fixed" in time as you so wish. Progress—it's a pain in the ass, ain't it?
TO LINDY WEST: You said in your column this week that you were emphatically told that "Scarecrow does NOT have" Le Roman de Renard (The Tale of the Fox) [Concessions, May 1]. I just wanted to let you know that we actually do have it. It's a PAL DVD because it hasn't been released in North America, but we do in fact have it, sitting on a shelf of other Starewicz films you should check out.
CORRECTION: In the May 1 issue, Paul Constant's review of Casuelita's Island Soul was illustrated with a photo from Casuelita's Island Soul's now-former sister restaurant Casuelita's Caribbean Cuisine. We regret the error.