MONDAY, FEBRUARY 9 This week of criminal pictures, crashed planes, and alleged Metro multitaskers kicks off with an odd and arbitrary day of snow, an inch of which fell on Seattle, where it slushed up roadways, turned drivers into dimwits, and looked pretty for a while.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10 Meanwhile in Washington, D.C., an awful saga was unfolding around what appears to be a thoroughly awful man: Aaron Bruns, a 29-year-old producer for Fox News who today was arraigned in federal court on a variety of child-pornography charges. Awful details come from the Smoking Gun: According to charging documents, Bruns—who'd covered Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign and was now covering politics in D.C.—came to the feds' attention after he allegedly shared child pornography via a social-networking website, with an FBI search of Bruns's laptop finding photos and videos depicting children as young as 5 years old being sexually abused by adult men and women. Last Days will spare you the more specific specifics, which are horrifying and not worth creating the brain space for. Anyway, it's not like the guy hoisted a red flag for his Fox superiors by, say, pleading guilty to something just like this 10 years ago—except he did. As the Smoking Gun reports, in July 1999, Bruns—then a 19-year-old student at the University of Michigan—pleaded guilty to distributing child pornography over the internet after police found close to 6,000 pornographic images of children on his computer's hard drive. For those charges, Bruns was sentenced to three years probation. For the new allegations, Bruns has been suspended without pay from Fox and awaits formal charges.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11 In much better news, by which we mean news that does not involve one grown man videotaping another grown man doing unspeakable things to a 5-year-old, today a Metro bus driver was arrested and charged with selling crack along his South Seattle route. Details come from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's intrepid Seattle 911 police blog, which reports the 54-year-old driver was arrested just before noon near South Leo Street and Beacon Avenue South, after Metro transit police conducted several undercover drug buys from the on-duty driver—"including immediately prior to today's arrest," as sheriff's spokesman John Urquhart announced today. He added, "Not all of the buys occurred from Metro buses." Tomorrow, a judge will set bail on the alleged Metro crack dealer at $50,000, instructing the man to have no contact with the Metro employee who reportedly tipped off the cops, and ordering him to stay at least 100 feet away from "any Metro location" if released on bond.

••Meanwhile in the United Kingdom, an elderly British milkman is standing trial for selling marijuana along his milk route. As BBC News reports, 72-year-old Robert Holding freely told investigators about his dealings to a base of 17 customers, which he'd built up through word of mouth among elderly folks whose aches and pains were diminished by pot. Defense counsel told the court, "He misguidedly believed he was providing a public service." On Friday, Mr. Holding—who, with his wife of 53 years, has six children and 28 grandchildren—will be blessed with a suspended sentence.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 12 Nothing happened today, unless you count the 49 unlucky fliers killed on Continental Express Flight 3407, which was traveling from Newark, New Jersey, to the Buffalo Niagara International Airport when it crashed into a suburban home in Buffalo, killing everyone onboard and one person on the ground. Condolences—as always, forever—to everyone.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13 Nothing happened today, unless you count Last Days' perfectly lovely viewing of Coraline in 3-D at a packed cinema that shall remain nameless so that we may fully celebrate the astounding highness of our concessions worker without causing this concessions worker to lose his or her job due to his or her astounding highness. Dear Seattle's highest-ever concessions worker: Please know that you are forever free to talk about the time you got so high they wrote about it in the newspaper. Dear Seattle's concessions workers: If you think this might be you, it is.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 14 The week continues with The Stranger's 12th Annual Valentine's Day Bash, wherein Dan Savage, The Stranger's resident sadist and master of noncriminal vengeance, invites audience members onstage to destroy mementos of failed relationships before throngs of empathetically bloodthirsty drunks. It's always nice when heavy-metal album titles come true, and we're happy to report that this year's bash crowd was literally screaming for vengeance as the Neumos stage hosted an array of heartbreak-fueled mayhem, including the freezing-by-liquid-nitrogen-then-smashing of wedding vows, the blowtorching of a diamond engagement ring, and the soaking of a velvet painting with urine.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 15 Speaking of broken vows and misplaced urine: The week closes out with T. D. Jakes, the Dallas megachurch pastor now making the headlines he loves for a reason he must hate—the arrest of his stepson for indecent exposure in a public park known for homosexual activity. Details come from the arrest affidavit obtained by the Dallas Voice: Back in January, 29-year-old Jermaine Donnell Jakes allegedly exposed his penis and masturbated in front of two undercover vice detectives in Dallas's Kiest Park. Upon being arrested for indecent exposure, Jakes listed his place of employment as T. D. Jakes Ministries, the 30,000-member church in South Dallas founded by his stepfather, who famously considers homosexuality a "brokenness" that can be cured by prayer (fair enough, if you're into sex-inhibiting prayer) and publicly declared that he would never hire a sexually active gay person. Today, Pastor Jakes faced his congregation for the first time since news of the arrest went public, telling congregants he'd had "the week from hell," describing the arrest of his stepson as "unfortunate," and pledging to provide his broken stepson with "help, support, and restorative grace." Meanwhile, Jermaine Jakes stands charged with a Class B misdemeanor, punishable by up to six months in jail and a $2,000 fine. Stay tuned.

Hello, folks: In advance of some Texas-based touring of my solo play Straight, I'm doing two pretour Seattle shows on Fri Feb 27 and Sat Feb 28. See www.annextheatre.org for info. Send Hot Tips to lastdays@thestranger.com.