MONDAY, FEBRUARY 16 This week of bouncy luck, broke priests, and teriyaki-scented triumphs kicks off today with the effed-up shit that's been going down at Fort Lewis, the Pierce County, Washington, army post where yesterday morning brought the discovery of two 16-year-old girls in the barracks, one unconscious, one dead. Details come from the Seattle Times, which reports that Fort Lewis emergency-response personnel responded to a 911 call placed at 3:30 a.m., rushing to the barracks to find the two girls, described as "civilian residents of South Puget Sound" unaffiliated with the military in any way. One of the girls was declared dead at the scene, while the other was rushed to Madigan Army Medical Center, where today she'll be listed in stable condition. Pertinent facts: Fort Lewis is one of the nation's largest military bases, with a population of nearly 30,000 military personnel. It is also a closed base, meaning that "civilians who want to enter need to show identification at a checkpoint and need a valid reason for coming onto the base," as the Times reports. Also: Neither girl showed any outward signs of trauma, with the surviving girl described as "sickened" and raising expectations of an autopsy on the nonsurviving girl. As for what the hell happened and who's responsible: The investigation is being spearheaded by the army's Criminal Investigation Division, which will be sharing its information with Pierce County authorities. Today an army spokesman announced that a Fort Lewis soldier has been questioned "in relation to the incident" but has not been placed in custody, and said questions about how the girls got onto the secure base in the first place are part of the "ongoing investigation."

••Meanwhile in Seattle: Early this morning, a 26-year-old man was fatally gunned down in the Central District, for reasons no one's been able to identify. Details come from the Seattle Times, which identifies the victim as 26-year-old Tyrone Love, a music promoter who had 40 minutes earlier wrapped up a successful President's Day party at First Avenue South's Crimson C nightclub. As an eyewitness told police, Love was walking alone along the 2600 block of East Cherry Street when a man in an oversize hoodie pulled up in a car, then jumped out and ran toward Love, shooting him several times. The suspect fled in his car while Love died at the scene. Speaking to the Times, friends and coworkers described Love as a "great people person" with no connection to gangs or drugs and who'd never been arrested. The suspect remains at large. RIP, Tyrone Love (who'll appear again as a subject on Saturday).

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17 In much better news: Today the Northwest Jesuits—specifically, the Society of Jesus, Oregon Province—filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, thanks in large part to the millions of dollars the Jesuits have spent to settle lawsuits alleging widespread child sexual abuse among the priesthood. As local Jesuits told the Seattle Times, most of the local institutions associated with Jesuits—Seattle University, Gonzaga University, Seattle Preparatory School—are incorporated separately from the province, so "any bankruptcy filing should not affect them financially." Nevertheless, Last Days patiently awaits the day when the pope is confronted by the lawyer for yet another sex-abuse victim, to whom His Holiness is required to hand over the illuminated manuscripts and his fancy hat to satisfy a settlement.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18 Speaking of church done right: Today in Orange County, a man marched up to the cross in televangelist Robert H. Schuller's Crystal Cathedral—home to the weekly Hour of Power broadcast—and shot himself in the head. As the Associated Press reports, the fortysomething man handed ushers a note and his driver's license before proceeding to the foot of the cross for his crucifixion-by-bullet. What's more, this isn't the glass-walled, 10,000-member megachurch's first on-site slaying: In December 2004, the Crystal Cathedral Orchestra's 57-year-old conductor, Johnnie Carl, killed himself after opening fire on church offices before a Christmas pageant. (He'd been "severely depressed.") Condolences to all, forever.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19 Nothing happened today, unless you count the non-death of a Bellevue, Washington, bungee jumper whose cord snapped during a jump off of Yacolt, Washington's 200-foot-high Canyon Creek Bridge, sending 49-year-old Mark Afforde plunging down into shallow water, from which he was blessedly able to walk to shore, then receive treatment at Vancouver, Washington's Southwest Washington Medical Center, where he's been listed in satisfactory condition.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 The week continues with the most confusing nominative possessive since "Ruth's Chris Steakhouse": Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail, the comedy movie Last Days rushed out to see in its premiere screening tonight at Seattle's Meridian 16, as there are few things we enjoy more than movies where it's okay to talk back to the screen, especially when they involve large men dressing as old women and tackling people. Also: Tyler Perry fans are unafraid to bring teriyaki to the movies. Let their trailblazing bravery be an inspiration to us all.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21 Today we return to Tyrone Love, the young man killed on a Central District street on Monday and commemorated at a Garfield Community Center rally this afternoon. The key message: Stop "stop snitching," with everyone from Tyrone Love's mother to Mayor Greg Nickels urging citizens to reject the street code that classifies those who help authorities as rats. As the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports, today's event "was meant to announce a new effort to battle this code and inspire more people to assist detectives investigating murders and other crimes in the community." "At what point did we get to believe that violence is normal and that we could get comfortable having a murderer next to us in the grocery store?" asked Reverend Harriet Walden, a longtime Central District advocate for peace, of the crowd. Mayor Nickels took a different tack, reminding rally attendants that "anyone who withholds information about a killer is an accomplice to the crime. We need people to come forward."

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22 In much lighter news, the week ends with the gayest Oscars since Wilde and that guy on The Office. Tonight's Academy Awards broadcast brought not one but two gay-history moments: first, the acceptable Oscar win for Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, who retroactively earned his trophy with his acceptance speech, which implored struggling gays to know that God loves them. Second, the fully deserved Oscar win for Milk actor Sean Penn, who all but one-upped his comrade Black by using his speech to encourage supporters of Proposition 8 to "anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes" over their insistence on marriage inequality. And then there was the rest of the broadcast.

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