Columns Sep 3, 2009 at 4:00 am

Sorority Girls

Comments

106
Jesus is happy when straight men eat their "goo!"

Jesus is happy when ... I guess when we throw demon-possessed pigs at out-of-season fig trees.

What is up with these posts about the Keith Olberman show? Don't they know how to write Dan an email? Or do they really believe Dan sits there breathlessly reading all the comments on his column online?

Cuz he doesn't, Christies. Just sayin'.
107
Maybe I'm missing something, but GIRL doesn't sound like a girl born with male equipment. He comes across as a dude who wants to BECOME a girl, and if that's actually the case he's in for a world of hurt and confusion. I wonder if he's taking that 'lesbian trapped in a male body' joke a little too far. You don't become female just by getting a second set of lips.

As for SLUT, there's a particular type of guy that your letter reminds me of (I know they exist, because I was this particular brand of jerk once). One of these guys equates his own success with that of his side of the relationship, and he really wants to be able to blame SOMEONE ELSE when it fails. He doesn't want it to just wind down into nothing, and he doesn't want to break up just 'cause he's not in love anymore: that means HE failed. He wants to drive his poor SO to doing something so completely heinous that he can be righteous about breaking up; he didn't fail, his partner did.

Sure, he broke up with you for a while, but this little behavioral gem may have coalesced out of his feelings while you two were apart. The fact that he didn't react emotionally to you cheating makes me think I'm on the right track with this.

So, SLUT, for his own good, I think you should throw this back in his face. He wasn't living up to his side of the relationship, and you're a hot, desirable chick who can get it elsewhere, so you did. If you actually want this sniveling excuse for a man back, make him apologize for his fuck-up, and promise he won't neglect you again. And when he does, throw his ass to the street; don't let him blame you for something he drove you to.

Or, you know, he could ACTUALLY not be that into fucking you, and I think my advice stands anyway.
108
How is semen comparable to urine? Heterosexual women (and homosexual men!) taste semen all the time, as a matter of course, without having a fuss. I think that if this guy wants anal sooo bad that he is bugging his wife about it, and if she is willing to give it a shot, her asking him to taste something she licks up all the time really isn't out of line. At all. Semen isnt' fetish, it's pretty damn vanilla at this point. Urine is a different pie. It's essentially a waste product, not something which usually comes out during sex. It looks, smells, and tastes different. Not the same thing.
109
@18, 58, 59, 63, 70

I guess some people didn't understand my comment at 12, so I will try to be clearer.

In terms of sexual perversity, there is a societal scale that everyone understands. Let's say a kiss is a 1, for not very perverse, and a 10, is say, shitting in someone's mouth, quite perverse. As we go up the scale, we are less and less open about these activities, and less comfortable with them.

We all recognize these scales exist. If they didn't, then there would be no point to GOO's letter; in fact, you couldn't even understand GOO's letter if you did not understand that some sex acts are more taboo than others. Being tied up is more perverse than getting a hand job. Cuming in a girl's face is more perverse than playing with her tits. This is shit that everybody knows.

It is also true that gender norms play a part in what sexual acts are generally more taboo. A hetero man taking it in the ass is more taboo than for a hetero woman. Dan gets letters about this very thing in fact, and everybody understands why.

All this only goes to say that a hetero man choking down his own cum ranks higher in the scale of perversity than anal sex for a woman. I mean, a lot of women have anal sex BEFORE vaginal sex. Anal sex is almost the equivalent of eating pussy.

So, all this is only to say that, in fairness, GOO's husband is sacrificing more than his wife.
110
GOO should make him eat it out of her ass.
111
flawless logic @109, while I agree with you that the perversity scale probably exists for everyone, I think that any given perversity scale is going to be unique in comparison to any other. Firstly, tastes are different. One guy might be into rattan canes, yet strap-ons are right out while another may care less about strap-on buggery, hate canes, especially rattan ones, but think doe-skin floggers are the shiznit. Yet another may love strap-ons and hate canes, except when used on his balls...and so on. Secondly, these tastes can change over time, or as partners change, or as new elements are discovered.

Myself, I'd be a lot squickier about some other guy's jizz than my own. I thought I saw a contrasting opinion to that above (someone who never tasted his own, but did other guys). To each, our own.

Thirdly, it's not necessarily supposed to be a fair trade. Goo and her beau obviously have a relationship that allows for some power exchange, so the inequitability of the trade may actually make the scenario hotter.
112
@110 - at first I thought you said "GOD should..." and I was like "RIGHT ON!" Oh well.
113
The reason GOO's husband doesn't want to do what she wants is because she tells her girlfriends.
114
break up for the summer so he can be free...... bullshit. my boyfriend also does that, and he isn't even fucking anyone else. I don't know if he's the idiot or I am the bloody loser. so far we always get back together. this time, I think it is time to DTMF.
115
OH AND GOO, TRY ANAL.him eating his own juices.. if you like, and like to kiss him after ok... but don't miss out!
116
Maybe I'm getting the wrong impression from GIRL's letter, but the writer comes off less like a person who is pursuing MtF transition, and more like a person who wants a woman to feminize him. Most trans people I know don't need "assistance" from women in order to transition. It takes a lot self evaluation, psychological and medical consulation and a desire to finally stop living a lie. There is nothing wrong with having a fetish to want to be feminized, but it shouldn't be veiled as MtF transition.
117
@GOO : Dan already hinted at this, but to elaborate because I think it is very important. Calling your husbands Spunk "Goo" will in no way make him confident to eat it. The words we use to describe things really makes a big diffrence in how people see them.

The word Goo makes it sound as gross as he is likely seeing it. If you want it to happen, look for some more confident and sexy dialogue.

A few years back there was a girl I knew who constantly referred to Penis as Lolipop. She was a nice girl, fun, and we flirted alot and it looked like it would go somewhere, when talk started going in that direction and she started tossing that word around it was biggest turn off ever. Made me shudder honestly. If someone asked me to eat my Goo I would likely kick them out of my bed because the imagery is horrible, and I have and fdrequently do enjoy my semen and love when my fiance Snowballs me. Why would I want Goo in my mouth?

@GIRL : Full time pre-op MTF here. People are not friends because of their gender identities, they are friends because they share intrests and enjoy spending time together.

It is common for Trannies to try and surround themselves with female friends when they start transition as a way to seek a place of belonging. I did it myself. It is a natural human need to belong, and as children we did not have as much access to female role models and friends as a Bio-Girl would have.

However; being a Woman is not enough in common to be a friend or mentor any more than being a Man would have been in forming relationships for a Male identified person.

Good friends will accept you as yopu are regardless of whether you are Trans, Gay, whatever ; and among those people you will find your guidance and role models. It is not about asking people to help you dress and act, it is about finding people whom make you feel comfortable to dress and act as you feel around.

As for mentoring in your transition, there are loads of us Tgirls online who can share our experience. Also a good number of support and information sites dedicated to us.

Normally I wouldn't share my contact information on an open forum, howeverI will leave my name so you can search for me on Facebook if you have any questions or need some pointing in the right direction.

Patricia Ophelia Cross
118
@24 Warsaw :

You are partially correct but ignorant and misguided.

Yes it is a mental problem, however not in the sense that transsexuals are demented or mentally ill. It has to do with brain architecture. Masculine brains and Feminine brains are mapped out completely differently (enough that brain scans can tell the difference between men and women), and research shows the brains of MTF transgendered people to be more alike Bio-girls than Bio-boys, and after hormonal correction they are mostly identical.

Mental problems transsexuals have are the result of negative impact the body-produced hormones have on the brain (it is starved the estrogen and overfed the testosterone it is wired to receive) and also the result of trying to live the kind of life people like you expect of them.

Many Transsexuals are also Intersexed (self included) and are not simply boys in dresses. Their DNA is a mix of male and female in some way or another. A friend of mine was recently diagnosed as XXY and I myself have Chimerism (I was fraternal twins of opposite gender and one absorbed the other, my body is half XX and half XY)

I spent my whole life trying to conform to the expectations laid out by ignorance such as your own and it left me suicidal. I amounted to nothing in life, made alot of horrible life decisions, and contended with horribly macabre mental images of myself the likes of which I wouldn't wish on anyone. Since starting Hormone therapy (and thus countering the way my brain has been starved and poisoned my whole life) I have not had a single compulsion to mutilate harm or kill myself at all and have gone from a constant state of depression to being mostly happy. My life has moved forward more in the last year than I had in the 30 years prior.

It is pretty hard to call results a fraud, or legitimate medical conditions.
119
Have you ever done any porn? My husband and I think you are hot...and hung...and we want more....
120
G is for Goo
121
Goo Girl you're not alone! While, ive never made my man swallow his own goo, I do make him kiss me after he cums in my mouth.... I told him, hey I swallowed you can at least kiss me after! then said, if you dont, i'll never let you cum in my mouth again......totally worked! And no, it's NOT "GAY" men are so strange! what's the big deal about having a girl swallow? weirdness!
122
Fail to see how anything a man does to excite his wife that does not involve another person is remotely homosexual, regardless of the act.
123
I don't have a problem with "GOO" "SPUNK" "JIZZ" "LOAD" whatever you want to call it! For years I thought about what it would taste like and a few times took a tiny taste when making love alone. Recently, I've gotten together with a woman who loves me to make a goo deposit and then go down for a smorgasboard of combined goo and juicy juice. I wish I'd found her years ago because the first time (and all subsequent times)while I was down there slurping away my cock resurected itself and we enjoyed another hour of fucking and sucking. BTW, it tastes great!
124
And another thing GOO, if you hubby won't eat your his GOO out of you, I will.
125
104
Sorry, the browser f*cked up and rather than editing the post, it posted it. I was working on the punctuation and spelling. No way to remove the erroneous posts. I've reported them to the moderators.
Sheesh.
126
@85
Speaking of autofellation -

Two homos were at a Huskies football game, bored out of their skulls, watching the mascot who was busily licking his pecker and balls.

One of them leered at the other and said; "I wish I could do that...."

"I bet if you tried it he'd bite you-" the other warned.

127
OK, I'm gay and I admit I like the spooge - mine, his, mixed together a- la-carte, whatever. But.. it's just spooge - it's not like, plutonium, or a burger full of e-coli. Straight guys are afraid of the stuff? What a buncha pussies.
128
Oh, duh, now I get it! To straight guys, cum's got millions of teeny-tiny babies swimming in it and that's what grosses them out. Gay guys don't have that problem.
129
What is UP with guys freaking out about eating their own cum? My first boyfriend was absolutely paranoid about getting any of it in his mouth, ever. He would make me brush my teeth after I went down on him - otherwise he refused to kiss me. It's so hypocritical - guys want girls to go down there, eat their jizz, give them a good time, but the thought of eating it themselves makes them want to puke. I hate this shit.
130
@109, I understood you, but disagreed with your ranking. I think anal sex is more perverse than a guy tasting his semen. Most kids have tasted snot, and blood and sweat and tears. Semen is at least as "clean" as those bodily fluids, it's not like piss or shit, which are waste products.

I think it a little odd if a guy has never ever tasted his own jism. Doing it as part of a sex act is a little perverse, but really low on the scale, at least as I rank it. About par with oral sex, and well below anal.
131
GOO writes: "My hubby wants to do anal for my first time, him fucking me, and that's fine—but I'm only going to let him do it after he eats his own goo! Standoff! We've been married 17 years, and I think it would be hot! . . . Am I the only woman who has ever asked her husband to eat his goo?!? . . . But was it wrong for me to ask? Am I a freak?!? . . . I just want to see my hubby eat his goo! My girls tell me I must be trying to make him gay!"

You're not a freak for thinking it would be hot to see your husband eat his come. There are guys, myself included, who think it's hot that you think that's hot. Most women don't think it's hot to watch a guy masturbate, much less eat his own come.

However, you ARE a freak for referring to it as "goo." Do you also refer to a cock as a "pee-pee"?

And your girlfriends are freaks (or maybe idiots is more like it) for thinking that you're trying to "make him gay" by wanting to see him eat his come.

It's very fair for you to ask him to do something you find hot if he wants to do something with you that he finds hot. Any man who wants to fuck a woman in the ass but isn't willing to eat his come in return is a big baby.
132
@109 :

Your logic is flawed since your premises are wrong.

Even if it were that common amongst the girls in your surroundings, I can assure you that most of the women of the world hope they won't be anally raped by their partners.

Not saying that all anal sex is rape - but, let's face it, the average male earthling is a poor lover, showing minimal interest to his partner's pleasure once they are socially bound and tied by marriage. And the average female earthling has not enough social status to stand up to her legitimate right to get some pleasure of her own. So anal sex among heterosexual earthlings is mainly done without care from the dick bearer, which makes it extremely painful for the female and therefore non-consensual - if she's allowed not to consent.

Thanks to Dan, there is a beacon in this world of darkness that advocates for equal pleasure no matter the sex, the sexual orientation or the kinks. As others have pointed it before, if oral sex is the norm, guys who get it must either have tasted their own juices by kissing after the deed, or have strongly disrespected their partners by refusing to have anything to do with their mouth once they've been serviced. The second case being a case of DTMFA.

Therefore GOO's husband gets off very easy.

Now to the particulars : having been brought up in a conservative society, I've never been that interested in tasting juices. Thanks to Dan's column, I'm vying to be GGG and oral sex for both is on the menu with my new awesome partner. But there's no accounting for tastes, so while I'm OK with how my juices taste, I dislike sperm's taste. So when I blow my guy senseless, he never forgets to eat his come off my mouth. He has no problem with it and it's totally sweet.
133
#109 - Lol. Anal sex is almost the equivalent of eating pussy? Eating pussy is the equivalent of sucking cock - hard, selfless work for hard, selfless work. Both feel really fucking good to the other person, and both are "normative" sexual practices (as if normal has anything to do with anything). If you think that going down on a women is equal to her going through the discomfort and difficulty of anal sex, you've obviously never been fucked in the ass. You're confusing porn with real life, honey. Anal sex isn't easy, and it's a VERY generous concession on the part of a woman.

The whole debate over whether it's fair to ask a guy to eat his own cum is beginning to piss me off. Do men realize how much cum women swallow on a regular basis? Get a fucking hold of yourself and realize that a) there is no pain involved in swallowing cum, b) it's completely safe (and actually nutritious), and c) WOMEN DO IT ALL THE TIME. And it's no easier for a woman to do it than for a man to do it - cum tastes weird, it has a weird substance, and we all just suck it up because we like pleasing our sexual partners.

I swear to god, porn is fucking with men's minds, making them think that most women are cum-guzzling anal sluts. And look, I enjoy porn as much as the next person, but it's acting! When you think about what you believe a woman should be willing to do sexually, think about what YOU'RE willing to do. If those balances aren't equal, re-check your premises.

And do us all a favor and stop dating.
134
@36,

What? Dan suggested finding a support group of people who would be interested in helping out with transitioning (he didn't say anything about whether these women would be lesbian or straight or whatever), and told GIRL to leave women met during the course of normal life (normal life = away from the support group) out of it.
135
To #133/hermioneinchains: If porn causes any men to think that women are cum-guzzling anal sluts, then these are men who have had little-to-no actual experience with women because any guy who has had experience with women can attest that a woman who is a cum-guzzling anal slut is about as common as a religious right-winger in favor of same-sex marriage.

I'm not disagreeing with you that porn can fuck with men's minds. I'm just saying that if a man has had a fair amount of experience with real women, he can clearly see porn for what it is: fantasy, not some reflection of reality.

Having been with two women (out of many) who consented to anal sex (one actually liked it; the other just did it twice so I could see what it was like...bless her thoughtful and sexy 3G heart) I know that it's pretty damn hot. But I also know that it can't be that comfortable for a woman, VERY few women actually like it, and any guy who is with a woman, like "GOO", who is willing to do it for him should consider himself a very lucky man and be willing to do (almost) whatever she wants him to do for her in return.

About the come-eating thing... I'm in agreement with some other guys here. I'm sure most men have tried tasting their own, out of curiosity, at least once. While it's not as good as a microbrew or a chocolate shake, it's also not rat poison. And, even if very few women are cum-guzzling sluts, many women do taste or swallow it, at least on occasion. I actually think more men would do it in front of their woman if they weren't afraid that their woman would get all freaked out and think they were "secretly gay." Just look at GOO's girlfriends, who equate a guy doing that with being gay.



136
#24, you got that right. Is being a woman so cheap and trivial that any mentally warped MAN can have his dick cut off and shoot himself full of horse hormones and thereafter call himself a 'woman"? Is that all we are? Men without their dicks are called EUNUCHS, not "women". It's like this: if I am convinced I am Napoleon and I demand surgery to make myself look more like Napoleon, I would be automatically classed as "MENTALLY ILL". So, why are MEN who insist on surgery to become "women" pandered to and mollycoddled? D'ye think it could it be because that(very expensive)surgery and all the pharmaceuticals required puts a LOT of money in the pockets of the medical profession and the pharmaceutical companies, hmmm?
137
Roma, I agree with you on almost all points. The only thing is, you have a slightly optimistic view of the general male population, perhaps because you are one of the GGG ones. I've actually done experiments where I posted an ad on craiglist that more or less made me sound like a real life porn star, and the hundreds of responses I got were 10% "You are so not real," 40% "Where have you been all my life?" and 50% "Good, finally a whore who knows where she belongs: on her knees sucking my cock."

It was just an experiment, and I understand that I got a certain cross-section of the male population, but I found it kind of disturbing. I should have gotten a LOT more "this is obviously a fake ad." What became pretty apparent to me is that most of the men who emailed me "knew" that a lot of women were secretly 'whores' who wanted to be fucked in all holes, and treated like crap. Which says to me that they believe the porn they watch, because they're not getting this from women.

Anyway, I think that's the mindset #109 is in when he thinks that "anal sex is equal to eating pussy." His sense of equality has been warped by the multi-million dollar industry playing to his fantasies. I think anal is great if everyone involved wants to do it, but please be realistic - it may cost you a fair trade, and that fair trade ain't gonna be "eating pussy."
138
"Man up" is a phrase that is sexist always, not only when it is directed toward women. It alludes to the traditional social stereotype that men ought to be masculine, tough, and unemotional. It is sexist against men. Phrases like these perpetuate misandry in our society. Don't know what misandry is, but you've heard of misogyny? Search Google for "men's rights" to learn more.

-Jay Hammers
139
138. pussy.
140
I really applaud the advice you gave to SLUT. I was in a really similar situation a few years ago and I can barely express how much my life (and emotional well being) improved once I broke it off with the guy I was dating. I really cared for him and it was hard, but when you don't feel wanted and loved and that person can't (or won't) make an effort for you, it's best to move on. Good Luck, SLUT! :)
141
I love being gay!!!!
142
Hey Dan, you were on my flight from LA to Seattle last week. I walked past you as I got on the plane and noticed you writing something on your computer while examining some kind of video which looked like it featured Glen Beck. I thought about saying hi but I had to keep moving. Anyway, It made the screaming babies not seem so bad for some reason. Thanks :)
143
142
Dan has to feed his Beck fetish 24/7.
He gets cranky if he is late with a fix.
It is best for everyone that you walked on by...
144
Great Oozing Orgasms is not asking too much of her husband and she should probably try to find a group of more open-minded and creative friends.

Now, as to the request she made... Its not in what you ask , but how you ask it. Some men might find the idea of eating their own spunk less disgusting if it is presented to them in a hot and naughty way. This is where the "snowball" comes into play. Once you have his consent, go down on him and collect a lil of his semen in your mouth, but don't let him come! It may take practice, but its worth it. He will still be turned on and able to have whatever sex you want afterward and you will be able to take the semen you have collected and kiss him with it. He tastes his "goo", giving you what you want. He is also still hard, so you can give him what he wants. Everyone happy.
145
Hey Dan, i think you and Keith should get married. Two deviant homo liberals - a match made in heaven!

If Beck, Hannity, Coulter and the rest were wrong - NOBODY WOULD LISTEN! And, FOX's ratings would not be through the roof. And Americans would not be giving liberal Democrats hell in town meetings.

You and Keith's bitterness stems directly from the fact that you know you're wrong and you are on the losing side. The funny thing is, you Olbermann have to keep up this facade because its your bread and butter. I'll bet you secretly listen to Rush!!! Hahahahahahah! Keep dreaming fags!
146
HOW GAYS ARE HURTING THEIR CAUSE

When Rick Warren was picked to lead the prayer at President Obama’s inauguration the gay community went into an outrage. How could Obama pick someone who doesn’t agree with their sexuality to lead the prayer? I read so many disparaging remarks about Warren by gays that I started to believe that maybe they were the ones discriminating. Since when is it a crime to hold an opinion that is different that someone else’s? The response by the gay community in this circumstance highlighted two very important things to me: one, they HATE others who aren’t in agreement with their lifestyle and two, they are hurting their cause to gain equal rights through their constant banter. The main plea of the gay community is to be seen as equals, that they are just like heterosexuals, which I believe they are. Gays do deserve to have the same rights as married couples do, no question about it; however, within situations like this they are giving those who don’t want them to have rights more reason to campaign against the gay community. How can the gays expect right wing Christians to listen to them if all they do is bash their beliefs? I thought America was built on diversified views? I even read a column by Dan Savage that Rick Warren is probably a closet gay. And most of the article made fun of Warren’s church name, Saddleback Church, stating how it could be defined as many different things, such as: (4) "To saddleback is to rail against gay sex in public while secretly indulging in the same in private. Ted Haggard? Total saddlebacker. Larry Craig? Saddlebacker. Rick Warren? Probably a saddlebacker." It didn't add to the point he was trying to make; it detracted from it. To disagree with someone’s views is quite different than slandering that person. I disagree with Rick Warren. I don’t believe gays are any different than heterosexuals, but through protesting in such a hateful manner they are highlighting their intolerance for different views and being non-accepting, which is ironic. I have a hard time listening to someone even if I agree with that person if they are screaming at the top of their lungs to be heard. Martin Luther King Jr. made an effort to unite people, not slander others for their differing views. Instead, he focused on all the similarities of different races and brought people together through these similarities and treated his enemies with respect. I expect the same from the gay community and to not bring themselves down to such low standards. If they want to be treated like equals then they should treat their opponents as equals as well.
147
As a raging germophobe and somebody who really, really likes the taste of peppermintand a loathing for immature big-mouthes, I feel for GOO's husband. What the hell is wrong with spitting?

@ 146,
Nobody here cares about your tiresome, off-topic rant about queers. Nobody here cares about the opinion of ignorant blow-hards who wave the bible around to justify bigotry.

Sod off.
148
As a raging germophobe and somebody who really, really likes the taste of peppermint and a loathing for immature big-mouthes, I feel for GOO's husband. What the hell is wrong with spitting?

@ 146,
Nobody here cares about your tiresome, off-topic rant about queers. Nobody here cares about the opinion of ignorant blow-hards who wave the bible around to justify bigotry.

Sod off.
149
Sorry about the double post.
150
This stretched lobed dude (FTM and at 2&1/8") doesn't want ANYTHING dick-like near my lobes...

...and seriously...stop asking. It's rude and not as funny as you think.
151
Fucking lobe-holes would be like fucking a cockring, wouldn't it? Doesn't make sense.

Goddamn, I can't even tell if the people posting all of the angry "OH NO QUEERS" shit and the "OH NO TRANSGENDER" shit are trolling, or serious. If it's the latter, then they've managed to become caricatures of themselves. It's like reading a Chick tract.
152
@145: "If Beck, Hannity, Coulter and the rest were wrong - NOBODY WOULD LISTEN!" You're right, its just a popularity contest. If slaveholders were wrong in 1800, no one would have listened. If the Catholic church was wrong about Galileo, no one would have listened. Bravo on your logic. Hey, wait, if Obama was wrong, would he have won the election?

"And Americans would not be giving liberal Democrats hell in town meetings." Wait, I didn't know Democrats weren't Americans!!! So interesting.
153
goo
goo and more...
im straight heterosexual. i love pussy.

but i figure there's got to be some kind of pleasure a man gets with another man...but the thought of myself being with another man makes me want to vomit, literally...so then, how could i explore this possible pleasure ? thats easy, let my wife do it for me. no strap-on needed. fisting works just fine. i like it and she has fun too.

tasting my own cum ? it's salty, but the presem. lube is sweet and yummy, just like my wife's juices, sweeet and yummylicious.

you are what you are, then why would you be afraid to be labeled something that you are not...unless you're hiding in the closet.

call me what you want, i dont care because i already know with complete confidence that there is nothing at all wrong, morally or otherwise, with the pleasures my wife and i provide for one another.

u go goo girl, you and your man keep making each other happy and dont degrade yourself for that.
154
HOW GAYS ARE HURTING THEIR CAUSE
When Rick Warren was picked to lead the prayer at President Obama’s inauguration the gay community went into an outrage. How could Obama pick someone who doesn’t agree with their sexuality to lead the prayer? I read so many disparaging remarks about Warren by gays that I started to believe that maybe they were the ones discriminating. Since when is it a crime to hold an opinion that is different that someone else’s? The response by the gay community in this circumstance highlighted two very important things to me: one, they HATE others who aren’t in agreement with their lifestyle and two, they are hurting their cause to gain equal rights through their constant banter. The main plea of the gay community is to be seen as equals, that they are just like heterosexuals, which I believe they are. Gays do deserve to have the same rights as married couples do, no question about it; however, within situations like this they are giving those who don’t want them to have rights more reason to campaign against the gay community. How can the gays expect right wing Christians to listen to them if all they do is bash their beliefs? I thought America was built on diversified views? I even read a piece by Dan Savage that Rick Warren is probably a closet gay. And most of the article made fun of Warren’s church name, Saddleback Church, stating how it could be defined as many different things, such as: (4) "To saddleback is to rail against gay sex in public while secretly indulging in the same in private. Ted Haggard? Total saddlebacker. Larry Craig? Saddlebacker. Rick Warren? Probably a saddlebacker." It didn't add to the point he was trying to make; it detracted from it. To disagree with someone’s views is quite different than slandering that person. I disagree with Rick Warren. I don’t believe gays are any different than heterosexuals, but through protesting in such a hateful manner they are highlighting their intolerance for different views and being non-accepting, which is ironic. I have a hard time listening to someone even if I agree with that person if they are screaming at the top of their lungs to be heard. Martin Luther King Jr. made an effort to unite people, not slander others for their differing views. Instead, he focused on all the similarities of different races and brought people together through these similarities and treated his enemies with respect. I expect the same from the gay community and to not bring themselves down to such low standards. If they want to be treated like equals then they should treat their opponents as equals as well.
155
@152

How Obama won the election = voter fraud and anonymous towel head donations from the the Middle east.

Your statement is so generic and uneducated, oh wait, the type of dumbass who got Obama elected.

Put that in your butt plug and shove it.
156
@145: Obama and the liberal fags are failing so quickly, I'm don't even care if I get any presents for Christmas.
157
Matt Damon put it best: "If I could blow myself I'd never leave the house."
158
Thanks, Impaler. I enjoy this column for its remarks on sex, but when it strays into religion, it becomes a real amen corner and could use an alternative viewpoint now and then.
159
Last word on "sex change" "operations" (for 136 et al.) Yes, it is cynical for the medical profession to take money for mutilating people who are mentally confused. Yes, however, as correctly pointed out, there are "intersex" cases (such as genotype/phenotype mismatch and other variants). These are a somewhat different matter. What we might call "sexual clarification" surgery would be reasonable and humane (and consistent with the Hippocratic Oath).
160
Wow....it get's really weird down here at the bottom of the posts...No wonder nobody ever reads below 25 or so.
161
Conservative @ 145, 155, 156 I must admit you have the slurs and the bonehead bigotry down pat. I get that it's a necessity in the small town or Christian commune that is your present home to wave around the Jesus and praise the stars and stripes, to spit hatred at gays and women and anyone who doesn't conform to the hard-line family values, ultra-conservative agenda and dominionist denomination of your enclosed parish. I say, keep fighting the hard fight and bide your time until you can escape that hellhole, climb the walls and crawl under the barbed wire and escape to our heathen civilization of internet porn, designer cupcakes and free information. The sooner you escape, the sooner you'll see all that you've been missing.

But you get that Beck, Hannity, Coulter and the rest of Murdock's clowns are getting their ratings because they're clowns, and because they're willing to as good ol' Adolph put it, tell the big lie. Right?

And you get that McCain couldn't have won the election against Mickey Mouse or one of the Bin Ladens, right? Not because of that harpie shrew he tapped for VP, though that certainly sealed the deal, but because his predecessor fucked up so bad that our country will be paying dues for generations, if it survives long enough to do so.

Obama-era conservatives seem to forget much of Bush history, from letting Osama and the rest of the Bin Ladens escape, (I still suspect a LIHOP scenario), to burning our own spy for political reprisal, to starting an illegal, useless war on false pretenses (oh, that) to torturing POWs to exact confirmations of false intelligence to justify said military action and blatantly flipping off the UN and the Geneva Convention, not to mention hiring mercenaries to circumvent rules of engagement. Then there's the gutting of FEMA in the name of the DHS just before Katrina sacked New Orleans; sneaking Christianity into our public schools via Intelligent Design and Abstenance Only Sex Education, funneling tons of tax-dollars to big churches, big oil, big pharmaceuticals, the guys who test our kids and dump our failures in No Child Left Behind and Halliburton, and then deny, deny, denying that global warming is a problem until it became climate change.

Need I go on? There are reasons that some most are a bit ticked off at the Republicans.

Incidentally, the towel-heads, by which I assume you mean the Sauds are staunch supporters of the Republican party. So are all the terrorist groups (who don't usually have enough money to put into American politics). The former enjoy the kickbacks that they receive in spades, and Repubs are good for terrorist recruitment.

As for voter fraud, nothing will compare to the Florida fiasco in 2000 that ultimately got your man Bush in office (ultimately because daddy pulled strings in the USSC), but books have been written about the levels of disenfranchisement pulled by brother Jeb and his minions. No, rather, Obama was put into office because the Rove campaigning machine just couldn't compete with the country's resentment, because the economy sucked (not entirely Bush's fault, but he did a lot to hurt and nothing to help), and because the internet kept a lot more informed about what was really going on, and revealed the lies McCain was spewing on his ad spots.

But the difference you're seeing today, is that we liberal fags (some of us more faggy or liberal than others) are willing to be openly critical about our man in office, particularly when he doesn't do right by us, because we're not afraid we're going to get lynched or disappeared when we don't tow the party line. Indeed, your boys like to sport your sidearms in public, and have been able to do so with minimal harry by the authorities. We get it. You guys tow your country-hick jingoistic line because you have to. That's okay. We understand.
162
@159 et. al.
The thing with sex-change operations is: I would have no problem with them IF THEY WORKED. Have you ever seen the results of such an operation? Post-ops DON'T have a vagina or a cock. They have a mutilation.
I can understand gender dysphoria, but I can't understand feeling that having working genitalia between your legs (no matter what they might look like) isn't better than a nasty mess of scar tissue.

I also kinda feel that the whole expectation that someone with "masculine" traits has to have a cock, and vice-versa is just a socially-generated thing. If I like someone as an individual, I'm willing to play with whatever they've got... but I would prefer it to be a nice, natural, healthy set of genitals, not a surgery disaster.

163
#137/hermioneinchains: "Roma, I agree with you on almost all points. The only thing is, you have a slightly optimistic view of the general male population, perhaps because you are one of the GGG ones. . . . It was just an experiment, and I understand that I got a certain cross-section of the male population, but I found it kind of disturbing. I should have gotten a LOT more "this is obviously a fake ad." What became pretty apparent to me is that most of the men who emailed me "knew" that a lot of women were secretly 'whores' who wanted to be fucked in all holes, and treated like crap. Which says to me that they believe the porn they watch, because they're not getting this from women."

Perhaps my view of the general male population is optimistic. But you really can't conduct an experiment on Craigslist, of all places, and think that you're getting some accurate representation of men and how they view women. I would bet that the typical Craigslist guy is exactly the kind of guy I referred to earlier, the kind who has little-to-no experience with real women so he is far more likely to buy into the fantasies that porn sells. Intelligent men who have experience with real women understand that porn is fantasy, no matter how much of it they watch.
164
@155: My post is "generic and uneducated." Yours are... conservative poetry? They could have been written by anyone (with no style or sense of logic). I'm sorry I handed you your ass on that post but let's not be bitter. Obama won with the... vote. Dems aren't the ones with push polls and efforts to disenroll / not register city voters, you know.
165
I wasn't going to comment, but can't resist saying that #80, you are a fucking idiot.
"ALL men get bored of having sex with their female partners (wives/girlfriends/etc) after about 9-12 months (tops). Blame it on biology. Males are biologically "wired" to have sex with as many partners as possible, in order to spread our genetic material as far and wide as possible."
Have you interviewed ALL men? How the fuck would you even know? My boyfriend and I have an open relationship and he didn't sleep with another woman for years because having sex with me was so hot. So, I guess he doesn't fit into your "ALL men" category. Or maybe I'm just an exceptional woman because he didn't get bored with me after 12 months?
Also, who the hell proved that men are "wired" to have sex with as many partners as possible? PLEASE show me the medical studies that have confirmed this. Really, that was just a bullshit theory to let men off the hook for being promiscuous while persecuting any woman who wanted to sleep with more than one man (look into the history of rape law and you'll see how and why your fucked up theory came about).
So, all in all, you are a sexist asshole.

166
By the way, #80, you ought to check out the book "Gender and motivation" by Dan Bernstein for a little enlightenment on the subject of biological studies.
167
@161: First off all, you've been playing too many warrior video games. You sound some evil leader in a knock-off Star Trek episode. Anyway, despite your efforts to think you know me, or where I'm from are totally wrong. In true liberal fashion you think you can just dismiss the opposition and wish them into irrelevancy. Sorry pal, the opposition, or those who are wise to the game, aren't going anywhere and ARE GROWING in numbers. I do know you however. You play your video games about 10 hour per day in your efficiency apartment; you have about 2 friends and your idea of fun is jacking off to a Sheena Warrior Princess poster; and you troll the chat rooms looking for 12 year old girls (or boys). I think that's pretty close. So, i would take the small town behind the walls any day over your miserable deviant life.

@164: Yes, sir, you are uneducated. And, unfortunately, there is no cure for it.

In regard to being gay, solid studies show that homosexuals are a very depressed group with high suicide rates. Why are they depressed? Because there's not enough rainbow clothing at the boutique? No, because they are an abomination of humanity. Being gay is a SEXUAL PREFERENCE, not a biological. The public has been tricked into believing its a biological thing so that gays can feel validated. Gays shouldn't have special rights because you are not a race or a religion.
You just have a sexual preference, no more than someone who prefers a certain sexual position. I know it hurts to hear it spelled out like that, but it is the factual truth. Plain and simple.

And, if I'm wrong, I won't get one angry response. See, when people get angry about what is said, that means the messenger has said something worthy.

So, I will leave you all to wallow in your own miserable filth. I have to catch Hannity and Beck on FOX. Good day butt pirates!!!!!!!!!!1

168
The guy who wants to become a woman probably was asking women he's friends with. His letter was a bit sparsely worded in a way that sounded a little weird perhaps (maybe due to editing? letters I've sent to this column appeared in an edited form) but i don't think he deserved a scolding for something as inappropriate as asking random strangers for help changing genders, as i doubt he (soon, if he proceeds with his plan, to be she) did that. (Please lighten up Dan. As I've told you before, you're a tad too harsh.) Love, jenae
169
Right, I'm a little late to this party but I did want to pipe up a little.
@ 136 (XXChromosomes): Unbunch your ovaries a little. If somebody waved a magic wand and turned you into a man, how do you think you'd feel? Like a woman in a man's body, I'll bet. Sex (anatomy) does not always equal gender (identity). Most females become women, most males become men, but for some individuals being born female or male is just a technicality. For whatever reason, their gender develops separately - and this is reflected in their social and sexual tendencies as well as their actual brain development. In a lot of transgendered people, it's really like someone took a woman's (or man's) brain and placed it in a male (or female) body. All I'm saying is that, in terms of woman-ness, it's really what's in your head that counts - even more than the whole uterus/ovaries/vagina setup.

@ the conservative trolls: buzz buzz. Why are you even here?

@ Warsaw: I have a 8-year-old little brother. He has always, by his own choice, acted like a girl, dressed like a girl, befriended girls and picked girl characters in games of make believe. He harbors no delusions - he knows that he is a boy right now, and is growing up to be a man. However, if he decides to change that when he is older - decides to become the girl that he's, so far, always been - I don't think anyone that knows him would see it as anything but a corrective surgery. There's nothing twisted or wrong about him, he just seems like a girl. I hope he doesn't feel like he has to go all the way to sex reassignment, but if he really needs to be a female to feel like him/herself, I wouldn't hold it against him/her.

In my case, I'm a 22 year-old lesbian who has always enjoyed being "boyish" - being strong and tough and rough-and-tumble. And while I tend to talk and act generally boyish, I also have a nurturing, vulnerable, kind, gentle side that I wouldn't let go for all the world. I don't feel like a woman. I don't feel like a man. And I don't want to be either of those things, ever. So I go on dressing however I feel for the day, acting like a guy, giggling like a girl, playing rough, talking about my feelings, blurring the lines because that's how I am. I don't understand what's so sacred about the "man" and "woman" boxes that our society is constantly defining and redefining - maybe I'm missing something there - but I honestly feel happiest when I'm just doing what comes naturally, be it stereotypically manly or girlish or completely undecipherable.

On a further note, personal gray areas aside, we all understand that males and females do each TEND to have specific traits, but sex (anatomy) does not always equal gender (identity), and I find that my peers who've been raised with the age of GSA and PFLAG are not so drastic in seeking out their true form. My transgendered friends (I have four around my age) are becoming the men and women they are without, so far, altering genitalia. Three take hormones, one of the FTMs (who takes hormones) had chest surgery... but however they change their bodies, my friends are happiest and most at home when their outside reflects their gender, and socially no one even knows or cares what their sex is. I know one of my friends is considering sex reassignment in the future, but the rest say that, at least for now, they'd rather not. So yeah, just saying that I know guys with vaginas and chicks with dicks and their pretty much like regular guys and chicks. They're not crazies. Which leads me to believe that it's not the mismatch that makes people crazy so much as our society's insistence that everything gender-related be so narrow and binary.
170
@169: Ok, Obama. Just call your opposers names and wish them away. Fat chance. I'll burn this blog to the ground if i wanted to, but i'm having too much fun. I'm just toying with my little liberal "friends".

As far as your little brother, just take away his dolls.
171
"In regard to being gay, solid studies show that homosexuals are a very depressed group with high suicide rates. Why are they depressed? Because there's not enough rainbow clothing at the boutique? No, because they are an abomination of humanity."

Having problems with your repressed feeling there, mate? I can see why you'd be depressed, especially given your nature to act straight in public but then display your true nature here. I just hope you don't have a family you're destroying. And you may want to keep watch of your wide stance for awhile.
172
Conservative 167 I wasn't trying to guess who you were, I was openly mocking you. A captive member of a closed religious commune who had the brights to realize the nature of his captivity and that a better world exists outside of the the menagerie that is the FOX news no spin zone might actually be redeemable. But it was apparent from the moment you slithered onto the stranger, it was the shortage of bashable gays in the pit from which you spawned.

As for what you imagine me to be, you might have guessed better if you read the subtext of the my posts in this thread, let alone the ones I've posted that season the rest of SLOG, but nice try and thanks for playing.

Speaking of FOX news, I take you are aware that every underdog radical revolutionary organization and every evangelist revealed faith exaggerates their numbers to the converts, right? Maybe not; you seem deluded regarding a wide gamut of topics. Still, you might want to consult neutral resources before bragging about your growing numbers; there hasn't been a time in this nation's history that someone was crying that the revolution was neigh usually with claims that the requisite liberation army was in place. Guess how many times they were right.

According to your logic (gays are suicidal because they're abominable) suicide rates directly correspond to the degree by which God hates them, right?
So let's say that the average US Abomination Level is AL11 (Average suicide rate in the US is 11 per 100,000) (source), then, according to your logic:

Gay young people 14-24: AL30 Note: This is a guess. President George W. Bush suppressed all statistical studies done about gay suicides during his administration. I don't have enough data to estimate the rate for all gays, but this age range is the most critical.
All young people 14-24: AL10

White men AL17.7; women AL4.5; nonwhites AL5.5 -- does God find white men abominable?

Montana: AL22; Alaska: AL19.7; California: AL8.9; New York: AL6.2; New Jersey: AL6.1

Washington: AL13.1

Men over 65: AL29.5
Gun owners: AL17
Gamer geeks: AL<1

Black women: AL1.8

Perhaps I overestimated you, Conservative
173
lol @ rogo.
killing abortion doctors is a common sense problem to a societal problem?
I think a common sense answer to a problem of 'too many kids without parents' is allowing gay people to adopt easily. Not common sense enough?
174
My husband always wants to kiss me after he's gotten me off using his tongue, sometimes I lick myself off, sometimes I push his face to my neck and let him rub in on my neck and shoulders. I asked him once, long ago, to lick me clean after he shot a hot load up in me, which he did with a little encouragement. When he saw how hot it made me again, he realized it wasn't as disgusting as it sounded! Every now and then he'll ask if that's what I want....NICE.....
175
In your letter to SLUT, I felt like you were talking to me, and a little of the guilt from the past year and a half eased. Thank you.
176
As far as eating semen goes, have you heard of prostaglandins. These are some of the most powerful chemicals known, as few as three molecules of some prostaglandins (generated by the prostate) on a uterus have been shown to induce greater uterine motility (easy to see how evolution could select for such a mechanism) So semen is extremely powerful stuff (even aside from the genetic packets.) So if your lover does not want to eat semen (whatever their gender) fine. very un-macrobiotic. If you need to dominate them and they are perverse enough to take it, go ahead. Aside from transfers of cash by overt contract, I do not go for a marketplace attitude. I learned about sex from a wonderful gay friend, my first GF's best friend as well. If your my lover, I will please you, inventively and massively, I will let you stretch my boundaries in search of my pure pleasure, not yours. Stimulus generalization (look it up if you need to) is for people who cannot face the pleasure that their own bodies can bring.
177
To #80- I don't doubt that men are hardwired to want new & exciting after a while.

But the way you put it, is all wrong. There are so many things you can do to keep a man interested. The main one being different things. Don't do the same positions everytime. Make it realy long sometimes and a quickie others. Add in tons of variation. You can keep a man happy & interested.

After 13 years together, in the past month we've had sex in the car, quickies, marathons as long as 3 hours at a time, as many as 5 times in a day, lingerie on, nothing on, we always leave the lights on, oral, anal, toys, you name a position we probably did it. Exciting enough?
178
@ Conservative: Or I could just take away your bible. Wait, no you'd still be a right-wing flamethrower. Only unhappier. Der.

Taking away dolls doesn't take away the inclination to play with dolls, Mr. Conservative. It only makes some poor kid sad and confused about why he's not allowed to play with dolls anymore.

That's like saying that celibacy cures (homo or hetero) sexuality.
That's like saying that taking away your bible would cure your "christianity."

BTW, Jesus, if he actually existed, wouldn't have liked you at all. When he was yelling at lawyers and pharisees - hypocrites! - he was talking about all the dogmatic, greedy, self-righteous conservatives just like them, namely you. You can say and do whatever you like, but if you ever just go and read the new testament, and exclude Paul (who was, frankly, just a misogynistic nut job that was something like 100 years to late to be relevant, but was included in the bible with the less radical gospels so that Rome's theological underpinnings wouldn't undermine it's patriarchal, hierarchical socio-political structure), the other Gospels, which are at least rumored to have foundations in the stories of people who actually met and studied with Christ, all have a very distinctly anti-conservative message. I mean, all of Jesus' quotes seem to indicate that he was a pretty okay guy who fought systemic injustice and oppression with human compassion and kindness, and who encouraged people to look past their preconceptions and prejudice and see the people behind the label and not judge them. A kind, compassionate, nonjudgmental Christian would not take away a kid's dolls just because he had preconceptions that male=boy=[some certain set of boyish/manly interests].

I don't believe in God, but that Jesus guy... he was pretty alright. And also Jewish. And also a child conceived out of wedlock. And he had very egalitarian beliefs, like that prostitutes and tax collectors and all women deserved the same basic human respect and consideration as any high-class, wealthy patriarch.
179
@169/178 (SexIsNotGender): Thank the Gods. I have just become a part of the Queer Department at my Universitty, and have been exposed to people of different gender identies after 6 years in a conservative country. I am friends with two pre-ops (one MTF, one FTM) and quite a few people somewhere inbetween male and female. While I consider myself 100% female, I do not think that everyone else with my genatalia must be too.
I hope that whatever your brother decides in regards to his gender, he is happy and doesn't let fuckwits like Warsaw doubt himself.
Oh, and just to blow some of your conservative little minds: my MTF friend is a lesbian and at one time considered becomming a priest.
180
Dan, I love you advise, but that doean't mean I need to read it twice... Am I wrong, or did all but the first of these writers already appear in your column? Please bring on the new stuff!
181
Dan, reading the advice you gave the first reader was really comforting for me to hear. I was in a similar situation recently, and some friends (and my own damn self) made me feel like a bad person for not being saint-like in my devotion to a guy who thought a date was a lengthy Facebook chat conversation. I was apparently "impatient" for ending my bogus (long-distance!) relationship in favor of getting to know someone really awesome. There's still these really weird, ancient ideas going around abut how women are inherently patient and all-forgiving. Lame.

Anyway, I've been working on laying my residual guilt to rest, with the help of family, friends, and someone really awesome. But somehow, the cool finality of a sex advice columnist's opinion was all I needed. Thanks again, Dan.
182
Hermioneinchains: Brilliant, generally well rounded comment. I'd have to agree with where you're coming from (no pun intended). I personally don't want to be fucked in the arse and would be quite happy to fuck my partner in the arse if she really wanted it (I'm not into doing something like that if she didn't want it). If she asked me to eat my own cum, then I guess I'd happily do it. It would be something one could turn into quite an erotic act.

To all the other readers who hate people who aren't "straight": Gay, transgendered, intersex people are a reality. Accept it, get used to it and don't hassle them. You did not create them, therefore you don't own them. They're undeniably part of the cosmos just like you are and generally (as most "straight" people) don't cause any harm.

Let me illustrate the above point: Two people engaging in mutually consenting sex acts between each other, are (generally) causing no harm. On the other hand; someone engaging in a bout of "Gay"/"Poofter" bashing, are undeniably causing harm.

Take care all and be nice to each other.
183
Hermioneinchains: Brilliant, generally well rounded comment. I'd have to agree with where you're coming from (no pun intended). I personally don't want to be fucked in the arse and would be quite happy to fuck my partner in the arse if she really wanted it (I'm not into doing something like that if she didn't want it). If she asked me to eat my own cum, then I guess I'd happily do it. It would be something one could turn into quite an erotic act.

To all the other readers who hate people who aren't "straight": Gay, transgendered, intersex people are a reality. Accept it, get used to it and don't hassle them. You did not create them, therefore you don't own them. They're undeniably part of the cosmos just like you are and generally (as most "straight" people) don't cause any harm.

Let me illustrate the above point: Two people engaging in mutually consenting sex acts between each other, are (generally) causing no harm. On the other hand; someone engaging in a bout of "Gay"/"Poofter" bashing, are undeniably causing harm.

Take care all and be nice to each other.
184
Apologies for the double comment...my mistake. Cheers.
185
I agree that GIRL needs to find a MTF support group, however, she should *not* isolate herself from the genetic female community. When my exes (3) went through transition, the accepted idea was "women don't like 'us,' so we stay away from 'them.'" I disagreed then and I disagree now. GIRL should be talking to her genetic friends, not necessarily to pump them for information, but to associate with them and keep her eyes/ears open. A great deal can be learned through "immersion": watching, listening and being around women. Once GIRL is through transition, she'll want to be accepted as a woman in the general society. And that won't happen if she doesn't know how to be a woman, something only the women who know her and love her can teach her.
186
@57 - Funniest thing I've ever read on this site!

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