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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
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a. Thanks so much to all of the douchebag conservatives so concerned over male on male anal sex as proof of something about gayness. Us queer ladies were wondering all this time what this "asshole" place is, since we don't have 'em. And we certainly would never think to play with this nonexistent region. Also, we crap out of our vaginas.
Which brings me to point b.
b. Please don't equate menses with shit. One is basically just blood, the other is waste products, toxic chemicals your body is expelling, and billions of bacteria, aka gross. If the person who is the source of these is disease-free, only one of them can make you sick. It's not awesome to perpetuate the idea that menses are equivalent to something much less benign (women get enough horrible messages about the dirtiness of their vaginas and menstrual blood from society as is). You are better than that Dan.
Thanks. (Steps off her soapbox).
That said, thank you for coming back in full form - On top of your game... good advice as always.
And while I agree that girls and women get lots of negative messages about the dirtiness of their vaginas, I'm pretty sure Dan was mocking the shit out of Rep. Elliott (or is that mocking the menses out of her?) and bears no ill will toward the average vagina, uterus, or the things that come out of them. No more than the average gay man, anyway.
I don't think Dan meant any ill will towards vaginas. I am just pointing out that wording and associations are important. There are too many people who have the incorrect idea that menstruation is somehow "dirty" for me not to want to clarify the point.
That I knew a word for what he wanted, that it was common enough to have a name, dispelled all his fears. It's been two kinky years since then.
Yes they certainly do! I am very good friends with a lesbian couple, and when they strap it on, one prefers vaginal penetration and the other only digs anal. Takes all kinds!
FAIL.
My wife used to be the same as you, she had a bad previous experience with anal with some asshole before we met and refused me entrance. It took a long time, as in years, for me to bring her around to letting me try anal. Starting with rubbing a lubed finger around her anus during foreplay and digital stimulation, later times I press inward on her anus to give her a little sensation. I had to show her that there was pleasure to be found with me touching there first before she would let me explore, and now, years later, she asks me to touch her there during foreplay. We have had anal sex a few times, and to be honest, I prefer vaginal intercourse, so I don't ask often.
So, to sum up, your husband needs to stop pestering you, it will never feel good if you feel pressured; and you need to get in touch with what feels good for you down there, or at least give it an honest try with no outside interference. You may end up being a no anal couple, and that's okay, but you should at least be able to say you tried everything.
what she said! otherwise, you are spot on.
http://www.fox59.com/news/wxin-youth-pas…
Oh please I'm just kidding.
And: I don't know who's a bigger idiot this week, Nancy Elliott or Lauren Ashley. There's barely half a brain between 'em.
Menstrual blood does not pose a similar health threat. Considering that women in our culture are already taught to be ashamed of their vaginal products, and shame in this context is not functional, analogies that reinforce this shame are counter-productive and perhaps even damaging.
Women have enough body-image monsters to fight. Dan doesn't need to reinforce the vaginal shame that is already too present.
That being said, you might not ever like it, and then he just needs to grow up. You, of course, could help by showing him how stuff you really like is really fun! The cheeky-fucking may be nice, but tittie-fucking is really fun, especially if there is a little oral involved.
I'm all for women not being ashamed of their menses, and I'm much more grossed out by shit than a woman on her period, but let's be realistic here. Bodily products are considered biohazards for a reason.
I wanted to be open -- and for her to be open -- to everything that could be pleasurable to us, acknowledging that the things we experienced with each other, in this specific partnership, might be different than what we had enjoyed or disliked in the past. So ... I when I discussed trying anal she reacted very swiftly to shut me down and then portrayed me as hounding her and refusing to respect her wishes because I had brought it up more than once (not lots, just two or three times over the course of a year). Such an overreaction suggested past issues were at play. There was that, and also since she had been through childbirth, she had some issues with hemorrhoids, as much emotional as physical.
So I left the subject alone, only to find that as time passed, she became more open to the idea. This came when our relationship became more relaxed in general, but she changed when she was TOTALLY hot, specifically after a lengthy session of oral sex. She actually initiated the anal play, getting up out of our bed and going to get some lube for me to use to penetrate her with my fingers.
Not sure how all this came to pass, but I got what I wanted: openness to different experiences, and the ability to discover new pleasures with each other. Anal came by way of oral.
What's a big deal to some guy on the internet may not be a big deal to your husband. No one here can tell you how your husband feels about fucking a hemorrhoidal ass. On the other hand, if they are painful and irritated, you will definitely mind having anal sex. So wait and see how you and your husband feel about it, and if it poses a problem, talk to your doctor about treatment options.
You know, like Mary Poppins, she obviously doesn't have an asshole either.
Honestly this is the best column he's written in a while.
Especially the woman, who is pestered by anal, the whole spirit is willing, but she is not wired for it. Totally respectable!
What does:
40 ;) 2. ;-D always :-) , me
translate to?!? I've been trying to decipher for 1/2anhour! (Yes, I'm into oral, anal and puzzles).
And MOCpl, yes, dear, we heard you the first time.
Why not hope they die A LOT inside? Why not die A LOT inside & outside & everywhere else?
Here's a thought: every time anyone commits a non-missionary position sex act w/ someone with whom they're not married to (including yourself), God kills a bigot?
C'mon, America! Do your part! Masturbate, sodomize, suck cock, lick pussy, peg your bf, or just straddle him in a chair, and soon our world will be free of bigots! The only problem is where to dump the ashes.... (and who gets to repopulate Alabama)
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/24/world/…
It's about a French anti-smoking ad that associates smoking with, um, questionably-consensual oral sex.
She issued a half - assed statement about not being able to "verify" her claims about children being taught anal sex.
Reading your column made me feel so much better. Thank you.
PS DOMA cost me and my husband over $7,000 in taxes last year. How about you?
I guess it's hard to know the difference when you're a constipated, hemorrhoid-ridden republican. You guys are so anal-retentive and backed-up you're constantly walkin aroind with shit up to your eye-balls. Guess that's what makes you such shitbags.
"No, thank you, LBIP, because every time a straight girl sticks something up a straight boy's ass, a bigoted state representative dies a little inside."
My husband and I do our part on a regular basis. Now, if I could only get him to wear my panties...
To my understanding, Dan has suggested that approach when the woman is reluctant to try anal - in this case the woman tried it and doesn't want to do it again.
My wife and I tried an anal hook last night. Not nearly as fun as it sounds.
For NEA, I didn't like anal the first time I tried it, to the extent that he couldn't get in my ass at all the 2nd time. And he really liked it, so I really wanted to like it, too. So I learned about the anatomy. I read some books, watched some videos, read some more, and talked to the fabulous women at The Smitten Kitten here in Minneapolis (soon to be opening in Denver, you lucky bastards) and invested in some good quality tushy toys. I used butt plugs while masturbating, and during vaginal intercourse. We attended an anal workshop given by The Kitten, and the even more fabulous Tristan Taormino. Tristan has a gorgeously photographed book of anal sex positions, and filled with tips. And guess what? I LOVE TO HAVE MY ASS FUCKED!!
@43, and anyone else with hemorrhoids--if you had a sore in your vagina, you'd go to the Dr, right? Why treat your ass with any less respect? You don't have to suffer with hemorrhoids, you don't have to have hemmorhoids, and not all hemmorhoids require surgery. Get it fixed, and continue to enjoy your ass play.
Dan, thank you again for the column, I'm all turned on from reading it. I want you to be my new gay BFF, but my current gay BFF (who dates my brother in law) would be jealous.
Fucking a shitty ass, and a bloody vagina are TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
One is gross.
One provides extra lube.
OMG did you know that PENISES eject this NASTY WHITE CHUNKY GOO out of them??!?!?!?! It burns your eyes and tastes bad and gets crusty and you have to DISPOSE of it later. WORSE, it happens EVERY TIME they fuck.
I kinda think if a man blows his opportunity to make his wife LOVE anal sex and ASK him frequently to fuck her in the ass, he kinda doesn't deserve a second chance. Kinda. So do your (anal) fucking research boys, or you will end up like NEA's husband. Some tips from ladies on this site:
http://www.analsexyes.com/reader_women.s…html
Also, thanks Dan... the term "butt menses" almost made me spray coffee all over my computer keyboard.
Of course, Dan has a long-standing willingness to call open homosexual behavior simply kinky -- like the Washington State politician who wore a dress to a porn shop and picked up a gay hooker and topped and bottomed and then refused to pay.
Dan called that guy straight. Speaking as a straight-but-tolerant person, it ain't so. That guy is a self-loathing homo.
If you include self-loathing homos, Republican congressmen who fondle their male pages, married dudes on the down-low, etc. all as straight, then that might possibly leave only 4% ... but that's hardly fair, is it?
Let the benefits of gay identity be spread throughout the land!
Thanks, that's basically my point.
I'm shocked(!) that nobody picked up the corollary from Dan's math: half of the gay population (3.8 mil) do not engage in anal sex, plus the remaining 32.5% of gay males that do not engage in anal sex (~1.2 mil) means that there are 5 million gay people who should not be prevented from marriage! Long live marriages that are execrement-free!
;)
Thank you. We must now spread the word about the health hazard of semen. SO UNCLEAN it is. I can't BELEIVE he wants to spray that stuff in/on me. It transmits DISEASES. Wear a condom and keep that filth OFF ME.
(are we seeing the logic, squeamish period haters?)
King Marty, a dick up a guy's ass rubs up against his prostate, and that can produce very pleasureable feelings, believe it or not. An ex-boyfriend filled me in about this.
What I don't get is, what do women get out of anal sex, besides the pleasure involved in pleasing their partners? There's no prostate to tickle, after all. What makes it worth the hassle?
Pretty much the same as vaginal sex. The feeling of fullness, pressure on the G-spot if the penis is tilted correctly, massaging the tissue rich in nerve endings (internal parts of clitoris stretch all around the pelvic region, anus included), PC muscle contracting wildly during orgasm (both vagina and anus are holes in the same muscle). So it's like a second vagina, plus the extra mental turn on because you're doing something naughty.
And it's not that much of a hassle anyway. It's just a matter of using more lube, finding a position for initial penetration in which your sphincter is maximally relaxed (lying on stomach spread eagled works for me), and not penetrating in one go, but in intermittent fashion (which, too, can be completed in a few minutes, so it's only a hassle if you are in a hurry).
And if it hurts, you're not doing it right.
Menses (noun): (1) The periodic expulsion of uterine waste (2) By extension--any periodic expulsion of waste.
See? No need to infer that some kind of shaming was intended. YOU think anal sex is nasty, so you take offense on behalf of your vagina at the comparison.
xoxoxo
Oh, now that's priceless. Homosexuality is disgusting because gay male sex is disgusting. So Nancy, tell me what's disgusting about Lesbians. C'mon now... you can do it...
But the best part is how she managed to alienate half the voters in her state with that last sentence.
..>"@ 40 and others:
What does:
40 ;) 2. ;-D always :-) , me
translate to?!? I've been trying to decipher for 1/2anhour! (Yes, I'm into oral, anal and puzzles).
Posted by Wetspot on February 24, 2010
at 11:28 AM · Report
And why does everybody always say you have to try something before you decide it's not for you? I don't need to be donkey punched to know I wouldn't like it.
Sorry for lack of sex in this question. Unless you get off on "dot-dot-dot".
So, if those of you who haven't registered want people to look at websites you find fascinating, it'd behoove you to either register before posting, or include enough information about the site you want people to look at so anyone who's curious can find it with a Google search.
I like ya, but come on. Either its a funny joke, or its not, doesn't matter who's making it.
And Dan, you can't compare an empty, clean mouth to an empty, clean anus -- one dispenses FECES, the other doesn't!! Ugh!
Stop being a bunch of children who giggle everytime someone brings up pee-pee and poo-poo parts. I know it can be hilarious sometimes, but I get the feeling Europeans are laughing uncontrollably off at us in post-coital bliss...
how do you know if they're having anal sex? It's not exactly the best ice-breaker at parties.