Jealous much? Who's tellin you she doesnt put out? Him? As he tries to get into your panties?
Doens't sound like he's all that and a bag of chips. Sounds more like a CPOS waiting to happen. Hope wifey finishes school to speed the recovery after she DsTMF. Don't be so naieve.

I think it's safe to say that we can take the word loyal off the list of adjectives you use to describe him. As for the rest of this individuals allegedly "amazing" attributes, countless people who have desk jobs imagine themselves that way. If he is so fuckin' talented up the wazoo why wasn't he having gallery shows, getting accolades, working for world peace, ect. BEFORE they got married?

@3 Don't you get it? He would be doing ALL that amazing shit, if only he was married to Anon instead. Oh, if only. What a human tragedy.

For real, both these people sound like tools who deserve each other way more than the "terrible" wife deserves any of it. Run, honey! Get out while you can!

Getting an education is a self-indulgent endeavor? Who knew?

He's the one you promised to put in front of everything else when you were wearing the most hideous white dress I have seen.

Unless they had some really fucked up, Mormonesque wedding vows, he presumably made the same promise.

Just fuck him and ruin his marriage already. You'll be doing the wife a favor.

Smug theists.

@4 oh I know, I just wanted to say it. The only amazing thing about this guy is his ability to spoon feed anonymous bullshit while her needy ego thinks its honey. Actually wait...people believing whatever it takes to maintain their idea of themselves as some kind of hero in their mind, that's totally normal.

Anonymous and co., you are MUNDANE.

Call it a hunch, but Anonymous, I believe you have a #8 on the Boyfriend list here.

http://aboutyourbreakup.com/9types.html

Ohmygodacareerdrivenwomanhowawful. You should feel completely entitled to fuck her husband, after all, I'm absolutely positive everything he tells you about her is the gospel truth.

Too funny. Hilariously bereft of self-awareness!

Hilariously bereft of self-awareness is this one.

Blargh. This reminds me of when I was still in college. " If only my best friend's wife realized how awesome he is, then I wouldn't be tempted to fuck him all the time!"
It didn't make sense then or now. Either fuck him because YOU WANT TO, or don't because IT'S A BAD IDEA AND WILL ONLY CAUSE DRAMA. But don't tell yourself you're going to fuck him to somehow make up for your perception that his marriage is unfulfilling. That's delusional and ultimately just devalues your friendship with him.

Usually when people are about to do something hateful, they rationalize it in their heads about how they are in fact doing the right thing and are the hero of their little vignette.

You know, such as "it's not cheating if his wife's a bitch". The direction you are quickly sliding into.

You've paid him some lavish compliments. In fact, it sounds like *you* wished you were the one to marry him.

It's not unheard of for a man in an unhappy relationship to leave the wife for the woman he's having an affair with - but I suspect it's more frequent that the couple is just having a temporary rough patch, and when things get patched up, the cheater finds her attentions no longer needed.

Odds are this will end badly.

I just didn't like this post. I agree with another commenter, when did it become self-indulgent to pursue an education? It sounds like she wants the "bad wife" to put aside her own goals simply for what? For time to fuck her husband? Please...

I am a full time student and I work part time. My fiance is very busy in his line of work, as well...and we would never say these kinds of things about each other to others. I understand that he is busy and he understands that I am busy...and we make the best of the time that we do have--it's a partnership.

One of my main goals for pursuing my education/career is that it takes the pressure off of my fiance in the future as being the sole breadwinner. It gives him the peace of mind that, for whatever reason, if gets ill and can't work anymore...I have my own career to take care of us...and our eventual family.

So, I don't have time to cook...or clean...or do all of the other "wifey" things that others think I should be doing. Sex definitely gets put on the backburner. Sure, I feel guilty but, my partner reminds me that he is not with me so he can have a clean house or dinner on the table.

We understand that the chaos of work and school is a temporary thing...and I just find this post disgusting.

typical christian "logic".

Well he picked her, not you, get the fuck over it.

So when you do fuck this guy, does that mean you will have lost your faith in God? That sounds like a win-win.

Oh snap, friend-zoned.

This is one of the most common mindsets going into cheating with someone in a relationship. I'm very interested to see if there will be other people who share the "other woman"'s line of thinking and rush to her defense or if it will clearly sound delusional when it's someone else saying it instead of them.

(Btw, this has been the reason given to ex-best friends/trusted relatives for screwing their spouses on every single episode of Jerry Springer I have ever seen. The logic isn't any classier in newsprint than on daytime tv.)

I think this is about me. My wife won't have sex with me and neither will any of the fine Christian ladies I hit on. I am unable to have an impact on the world, not even a penile one. Damn it.

I think this is about me. My wife won't have sex with me and neither will any of the fine Christian ladies I hit on. I am unable to have an impact on the world, not even a penile one. Damn it.

#29 I agree - it makes it ten times more fun!

That's odd. I know a number of women I would like to fuck but haven't and won't, and I don't need a ridiculuous invisible desert sky god to restrain myself.

So what's more morally courageous? To not do something because you fear eternal punishment, or to not do it even if you don't believe that punishment awaits?

The Faithful operate on a rather low moral standard, to my thinking.

It's sad when an I,Anonymous reveals more about the sad, f'd up state of the author than of the individual she's trying to ridicule. After reading this I know hardly anything about this couple, but feel like I could read the author like a book.

In my younger and stupider days I fell for that bullshit. I didn't expect him to leave his "evil dragon" of a wife and I still got hurt. One day I realized that this amazing and special relationship we had was as substantial as a dried out sandcastle. He fed me crap and I accepted it. I knew it was crap on some level too, but at the time it didn't matter.

Almost a decade later, I still feel remorse for my part in it all. Yes, the man was a shit. Yes, it would have been someone else if it wasn't me. And looking back as objectively as I can, the wife wasn't a sweet innocent darling in the whole mess. But it doesn't change the fact that *I* was a willing participant. I brought suffering to another and suffered in my turn. The wife might have been a bitch, but that didn't give me the right to cause her pain.

And in the end, I was left with the same feeling I imagine loosing a thousand dollars in Vegas would leave me with. A lot of crap I have to clean up and absolutely nothing to show for any of it.

19.
"You've paid him some lavish compliments. In fact, it sounds like *you* wished you were the one to marry him."

She should be careful what she wishes for, I think.

Stop pretending you are such a faith-driven person. If you were so "holy" then you would have told the wife to give her a heads-up that her marriage is in trouble instead of trying to justify your future affair with him (and face it- you WILL fuck him sooner or later). Also, do you seriously think that- short of a medical problem- a normal spouse would have stayed in a sexless marriage for over 5 years? No! Let's just say for your arguements sake that is true (because it's not like I know him or the wife- so I can't "prove" they aren't fucking- just like you can't "prove" they aren't fucking) then don't you think they he has told that same sad story to other people? Or do you think that you & only you are the only peice of ass that just swept him off his feet and made him realize that 5 years is just too long to go without sex and that you and only you are so damn irresistable that you are driving him to infidelity?!! Seriously?!! Get over yourself! If you believe that bullshit from him then I have some magical beans that I want to sell you for a million $ each! I'm sure they have a normal marriage witha normal sex life but he is probably a serial cheater who will say anything to naive dumb women such as yourself so he can use you up & spit you out just as he has done to all the others. Perhaps he should spend 1/2 the effort to make his wife feel appreciated for all her hard work/schooling as he does to try to get into yours & every other woman's pants (and don't fool yourself- you aren't the only one)- then maybe his wife would wanna fuck him more. I seriously hope he doesn't though. It sounds like the wife deserves better and you & Mr. Wonderful deserve to get married so he can shit all over your good name like he did with her.

Surely this letter is a joke. I mean, can anyone be that credulous? Well, her faith has kept her from fucking him - so she believe that a man in a big bathrobe is secretly ruling the universe. Maybe she is stupid enough to belive the CPOS's bullshit.

If this letter is a joke, I'm sure a bunch of frat guys are laughing their asses off. And if the Letter Writer is serious? Well, she'll probably give into temptation, then he'll move on to his next conquest and dump her. Then maybe she'll actually learn something.

@38: I seriously doubt frat guys could bother (or think of) with a mundane situation like this (they would have thrown in much more sex, maybe something involving a horse). It's a psychological mess, for sure, but boring. And as others have mentioned, this is a way too common delusion.

Gee whiz, Anon, doesn't sound like maybe you're vilifying this "amazing" guy's wife in order to justify your desire to be his piece on the side. Nope, not a bit. The fact that you're talking yourself into believing that she's a terrible person and obviously deserves to be cheated on is clearly an innocent accident.

Pull your head out of your ass and re-evaluate. He doesn't sound like quite the winner you think he is, and you sound like a jealous crazy-head, and if he were really worth the time he'd be trying to fix his marriage instead of propositioning your shrill Jesus-loving ass.

Also, you sound fat.

The second I got to the last lines about her "faith" (in what, santa?) keeping her from allowing this douchebag to bone her I lost it.
Bone if you want, just leave the religious/ moral posturing out of it- just do it.

I love these religious people- always so full of shite.

everyone is so right!
what a horrible person for caring for a friends situation! especially when you all personally know that the guy is a scumbag.
what a horrible person for wanting to have sex with someone they are attracted to!

geez, you think the "tolerance" crap that you people spew would mean having some empathy for someone.
but then again, she's religious. and that's one thing you dopey fucktards can't tolerate, is it?

@43: That's not exactly accurate. I for one am quite religious. I was when I was in anon's shoes too.

What people are reacting to here isn't anon's faith, it's the bullshit that's rolling off the letter. It's the low blows to the wife. Even if you take it as fact that the woman is the raving lunatic bitch, what on earth does her wedding dress have to do with it? And since when is getting a degree "self indulgent"?

Anon says the husband is this super perfect guy, yet he's trying his damnedest to have an affair (and maybe is successful with another piece of pussy).

Anon claims this horrid dragon lady "ruined" the guy's talent and creativity. Er, no. That was Mr. Perfect's choice The guy chose to marry this woman which means he prefers the company of soul crushing demons (if you believe anon's assessment of the wife). People date and marry douchbags and while they whine about it, they're fully aware of what they did and in full control to end the relationship whenever they please.

I'm not pointing out anything new of course, but since you seemed to have missed those parts of the comments, I thought I'd repeat it.

Anon, honey, I feel your pain. I mean, I REALLY feel your pain. In the same situation myself, not stupid, not delusional, not naive.

All the haters seem to believe the other myth, that the wifey back at home is the innocent victim of a philanderer. Don't y'all know any women who exploit their spouse emotionally and financially? Hubby stays because they have young kids. If he left, he'd only see the kids on the weekends; he'd still have to support her AND pay a second rent. Plus the kids would be alone with her cold, bat-shit craziness more often. She's been telling him he's a loser for so long, he believes her when she says they're poor living on his $150k income per year. Sweetheart, out here in the sticks, that's GOOD money, what is she doing with it exactly?

And note to wifey: just because I'm twice your size doesn't mean I'm not hotter than you. Separate bedrooms are not a great way to enhance your marriage. Keep up the ice princess routine, and I'll have him in my bed.

BOO! Stinky I, Anonymous! It's too obvious she's the one to blame in this.

I like the ones we can really root for, or the ones that are more controversial. This one is too transparent and self-serving.

I think the classical Greeks had it right. Adult people were never meant to live together; the men went off to war (not a good thing) and had sex with each other, while the women stayed home and attended to the business of the partnership and the kids. Sounds sexist, but not really...the women had control of the finances, the men were just an occassional nuisance.

@44, you head the nail on the head again.
I have no reason to repeat myself because you obviously have an intimate understanding of these people's relationships with one another. I'm glad there are people like you with complete knowledge of interpersonal relationships to solve the world's problems.

@50, hm, at least you don't come across like some bitter psychopath.

@50: That's like a total non-sequitur. Again, you fail to read a post before responding to it. Seriously, try making sense instead of just random Whargarble and gnashing of teeth. You'd be a much better troll that way.

this woman is an idiot. She's looking at one side of the story. The side he's telling her. And he walked down that isle right next to that hideous dress. No one put a gun to his head. If he was so wonderful and amazing, why did he feel the need to marry this woman?

I think she needs to take a hard look at the man and not who he married.

This whole thing is a bad idea. I did it last year. It was a bad idea, too. I was fed all the same lines you're getting. I even hated his wife's wedding dress, too. (Although, that dress really was gross.)

I was in love with my best friend of 14 years. He got married and six months later said he was leaving his wife for me. "She was all about work, they never had sex...blah blah fucking blah."

I spent a shit load of money for him to get him moved to the city where I lived. I got an IUD put in because "we" decided "that was the best b.c. for us". It left me in almost daily excruciating pain for months.

Well, one day he told his wife he was leaving. She refused to let him go. He ended up in an out-patient psych-ward because the drama of leaving one woman for another made him seriously consider suicide. I also ended up in therapy. In the end, he did not leave her, and he and I are no longer in contact. Nor, will we ever be again. It's not a happy way to end a friendship I cherished since I was 14.

Injury to injury--The IUD I got "for us" ended up not working after all--I got pregnant the first time I used it and miscarried. Miscarriages hurt. A lot. So...K-Ho, babe,...if you happen to read this, that's the end of that story.

Look, lady. You sound young and are hopefully, smart. Just leave the guy alone. If you love him, learn from me don't send him to the psych ward.

If you liked it, you shoulda put a ring on it.

I used to fuck my best friend behind his boyfriend's back. Even though I didn't think they were a good match sometimes, I still felt horrible about this. There were two people at fault for that mistake. The person not fucking is never that person.

Okay, I never thought I'd EVER say this but I, Anonymous has changed my life. I've been trying to talk myself out this intense fixation on a married friend for a year (see #45). No luck until I read and mulled over all the comments on this post. How pathetic that is, is not lost on me. But, whatever.....the truth finally dawned. Especially helpful were #47 and #54's voice of experience.

So now I accept he has made his choice. For two weeks, I've cut out the overly "caring" part of our conversations, stopped gazing at him, stopped being available anytime. Interesting that all the intense chemistry I thought we had is instantly gone. Nothing was said, but he seems a little relieved that we've gone back to a normal friendship.

So, thank you strangers, for pulling me back from the brink.

P.S. His wife really is a bad mother and a dumb bitch.

Hey, #58, of COURSE he would make it look like she's a bad mother and so on. You aren't back from the brink, and you haven't gone back to a "normal" friendship while you are still believing what you want to believe.
You didn't ask for my advice, but hey, no charge: cut him out of your life, so you can get some perspective. Sometimes we get too wrapped up to see things clearly. It's not his WIFE"S fault you are in love with him.

Thanks for playing, #59, but you're wrong on all counts. I think she's a bad mother because I've seen it; saw it before I was in love with him; other people have made the same observation. That was my original point, even if I AM a trashy whore and he's a lying tomcat, doesn't mean she's a saintly victim.

"It's not his WIFE"S fault you are in love with him."

Never said that, sweetiepie.

#58, You're welcome. :)

Absolute great story... I've been in that situation (mine being gay) - I'de say - give him the fuck of his life, to include the worshiping of his organ and testicles.Eat him alive! If you see a big, positive change in his everyday personality, maybe you can take him home forever..or is this not the type YOU are looking for? There IS a difference between lust, love, & compassion, ya know!