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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
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The one from I should win an oscar his advice went
The consequences of telling the truth would be severe. What IS printed is so he lies to them because for the time being he must.
ISWAO's "boyfriend" situation with his Bush-warped parents is definitely fucked up. So is that of anybody who is ruthlessly pressured by his or her clergyman / parents/ whoever to be straight, get married and have truckloads of kids simply because their religion says so.
I hope it works out for the better, ISWAO.
And Dolled Up, for your claim for being a feminist, your hatred of feminists and women is written all over your post. You go from sarcastically claiming your "dear mother" is a feminist to claiming you yourself are one two sentences later. That word is not an epithet one second and a proud badge the next. Dan was right when he gently suggested your mother was onto something. Despite a feminist upbringing, you have ended up with a woman problem. Now go figure it out.
1. Thanks for all the advice in the comments, as well as to Dan for his. We are taking a combination of the two. We are going to "break up" for the summer, and he is going to find a new (lesbian) friend to be his beard in the fall. He will not be coming out until after college.
2. Our university is VERY expensive. It is a top-20 uni known for being exceedingly stingy with aid, and he could not afford to stay here on his own. period. It is just not possible. He has looked into it many times, because he -wants- to come out, but for that same reason he has decided not to until after college. That is his choice to make, not mine, and I respect it.
3. To those of you who say we "lack integrity"-- yeah, I would have agreed with you if I were an objective poster reading this on some forum. But all I can say is that it's really, really easy to make a judgement like that when you're not the one in the situation, and very difficult when you are. This guy is my good friend, he's not just using me, and we have a strong friendship outside that, so it's not like I'm trying to get rid of him.
4. My real boyfriend and I are extremely happy together, and he is cool with what is going on. He is gay-friendly and understands how hard it is. I do not have any feelings for my gay friend whatsoever. So nix that out. :p
Again, thanks guys for all the help and info and advice!
-ISWAO
If the parents threatened to hurt or kill him if he were gay, that's one thing. But to lie to his parents in order to get tuition money is immoral. They may be fucked up homophobes, but it's their money and he doesn't somehow magically deserve thousands of dollars in tuition.
It won't hurt him to go to community college or take an extra year to graduate. In fact, it'll help him grow a pair of balls and stop the "I Love Lucy" shenanigans.
Now that I write this, I'm not really sure how gays started using it, but I could make something up, like:
Around 1950, perennial Presidential candidate Adlai Stevenson, who had a background in vaudeville and summer stock (mostly small towns in Ohio and Western Pennsylvania), was spotted at Brooke Astor's "Founder's Day" ball with Rose Kennedy on his arm. When Astor raised a quizzical eye at the noted, not to say notorious heterosexual squiring a noted lesbian, he said, "Oh, Brooke, honey, I'm her crossover beard." Turns out Art Buchwald overheard the comment, shortened it, reported it, and, Voila, coined a phrase that would go on to rival "smaller elephant sibling" in the Euphemism Hall of Fame.
I was following the thread, thanks.
I considered 111 to be voting in favor of not lying in case someone was tallying up the pro and con. And I added some comments for the hell of it because I felt moved to because I had a boyfriend who lied for exactly the same reasons. And guess what? He had big issues because of the lying.
Ouch, I didn't know the comments section had such strict discipline.
As an out, bi girl who has two fantastic, supportive parents who love her unconditionally I would like to thank everyone who came before me who made coming out and being out so painless. I hope someday everybody can have a family like mine.
Having responded to the brother's honesty with nothing but cruelty, they have given up the right to the truth. Any guidance the child gives them now is a matter of Christian charity; lest they find one day that they are alien to all, and have nothing but hatred and pride to guide them through the outer darkness.
I liked the idea someone had about making it seem like the parents coming to meet the "future" inlaws was moving way too fast. It makes a good inroad to a way for her to publicly break off the fake relationship, and a reason for him to stay single throughout the rest of his college career: Whenever they bring it up, he can say:
"Do you really want to go there, you guys ruined my chances with someone who was very very special to me, who I loved very much, blah blah" and then the issue can be dropped and left.
Once he's through with College/Uni and he no longer needs their dirty money, then he should drop them like a rock (by telling them publicly, preferably at the graduation ceremony, so that if they react badly, the public can see how horrible his parents truly are); and being ICY COLD to them in the future if they were to ever try and re-establish contact.