I, Anonymous

Comments

Yawn.

TVDinner on September 8, 2010 at 12:01 PM

double yawn...

capital.press on September 8, 2010 at 12:22 PM

"Nothing gets me going like a nice flat stomach and a pair of pert breasts attached to a girl with beautiful (red?) hair and gorgeous (green?) eyes."

Always enjoy it when people confess how they are attracted to ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE.

Gloria on September 8, 2010 at 12:42 PM

I wish more lesbians would admit to themselves how much they want to suck a dick. The world would be a much better place!

on September 8, 2010 at 12:52 PM

Big deal - you are either bi or more likely a self hating gay who is too scared to accept your sexuality. Accept yourself and what you enjoy - just don't lie to your girlfriends and be true to yourself. I really hope that you are practicing safe sex.

Andrewl on September 8, 2010 at 1:01 PM

Triple yawn. (^o^) ZzZzZz

Also, I hope you're practicing safe sex and at least being honest about the potential dangers you are exposing your partners to, and if you're not, I look forward to the "I have herpes because of my douchebag ex who is actually gay and refused to use a condom or tell me he was sleeping around" - I Anon. =)

CoffeeCups on September 8, 2010 at 1:31 PM

He likes a flat stomach? Total gay.

Fistique on September 8, 2010 at 2:19 PM

QUAD YAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

booyaa, lets keep this train rollin'!

rollin' like a hot dick in this dudes' mouth!

growler on September 8, 2010 at 2:45 PM

Yawn +1 to infinity. Please don't marry and have kids, you'll only make a mess of other people's lives when you decide you're really gay.

Hybrid Vigor on September 8, 2010 at 3:08 PM

LAAAAAME..........

pistolkitten on September 8, 2010 at 3:33 PM

Thought it was a girl at first...which made it so much more interesting.

mozzie on September 8, 2010 at 3:39 PM

Fifths on the "Yawn".

And I find it to be simultaneously quaint and disturbing that the posters are reading a story about a man who admits to engaging in large levels of semen-laden sex with other men and immediately concur that his worst risk is herpes.

And for the OP: there are plenty of women who dream of having a boyfriend who enjoys having sex with women *and* being made to act like a slut for cock. Either way, wrap it up, check for sores and stop chugging come like it's bleach-flavored pancake syrup.

Milbury on September 8, 2010 at 4:28 PM

DICKWEED!

"I'll end up married to a woman, having awesome sex, and I'll love her." and give her various unsavory stds as you continue to be a worthless cocksucker and buttfucker. stick to your own kind asswipe. any woman that would even consider you is a seriously demented chick, stay the fuck away, she has enough to deal with already.

buddspal on September 8, 2010 at 5:26 PM

who would chug bleach-flavored pancake syrup?

jaansdornea on September 8, 2010 at 6:03 PM

total choade. CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! cum guzzler...

ribs on September 8, 2010 at 6:48 PM

This is so lame that I don't want to comment, but I can't deny how I feel when I do it.

Incredible on September 8, 2010 at 8:48 PM

Yawn Exponential.
Straight lead in
Gay twist while loving hot chicks
I deny being easy/man-whore
I deny being easy/man-whore

on September 8, 2010 at 9:24 PM

Thanks for the update, Senator Craig.

AlaskanbutnotSeanParnell on September 9, 2010 at 1:35 AM

@18 Right on!

robwolf on September 9, 2010 at 3:02 AM

Seems like this guy is working out some daddy issues with these dominating, non-caring men--especially since his romantic feelings are all for women. It's possible he was molested as a child and the feeing of waiting for someone to come violate him in this way is a replay of a traumatic scenario. People become addicted to their emotions and find ways to recreate them long after the initial stimulus has been repressed. If this is the case, chances are he will continue with this behavior until something very important is taken away from him (health, relationship, etc.) and he's forced to examine himself and see what's up. Enter the midlife crisis. Good luck to you Anon.

Paiges on September 9, 2010 at 4:46 AM

I guess this doesn't include telling the women you're sleeping with that you're with guys as well...

... hope you're using protection...

samanthaf63 on September 9, 2010 at 7:57 AM

Another example of gaybar stranger staff having fantasies about straight guys actually being penis crazy. An obvious work of fiction.

Seeds on September 9, 2010 at 8:39 AM

BORING...

wecame on September 9, 2010 at 10:07 AM

It kind of reminds me of how I just can't stop putting these breakfast quesadillas in my mouth! So dirty, but so delicious! Oh here's another one grrmm grmm grrmmm...

Schick on September 9, 2010 at 11:34 AM

@18 - lol

laurijst on September 9, 2010 at 11:50 AM

i can't believe they finally printed my i anonymous!

Adrian Ryan on September 9, 2010 at 1:00 PM

Slow week in I, Anonymous?

on September 9, 2010 at 1:15 PM

So, so obviously fake, written either by Stranger editors themselves or some jackass who knew Savage would cream himself over it.

schmacky on September 9, 2010 at 3:03 PM

Very hot piece . . . thanks!

PB on September 9, 2010 at 4:47 PM

Hot piece . . . thanks!

PB on September 9, 2010 at 4:52 PM

I think it`s interesting!

ridia on September 9, 2010 at 7:35 PM

I just yawned because every other fucking person is, and it's contagious.
STOP IT, YOU MOTHERFUyaaaawwwnnn...

venomlash on September 9, 2010 at 8:46 PM

@33, LOLAAaawwwnnn

MacGruber on September 10, 2010 at 1:51 PM

You might find this interesting. I am getting tossed on vodka for various reasons that I won't go into (simultaneous victory and failure... isn't that the cliche of life?!!) and I read this and thought it was a same sex oriented female writing it. Therefore it wasn't boring, it was intriguing. Try re-reading it with that bent and you will find it more interesting. Not truthful, but certainly more entertaining.

rsuprincess on September 10, 2010 at 8:11 PM

The illustration puts the female bent on the story

biju on September 11, 2010 at 8:04 AM

Goddamn you - this kind of craven self-absorption ruins millions of lives. (straightspouse.org) Some good straight person who's just hoping for a shot at a happy life could end up married to you because you're too self absorbed and afraid to admit to yourself who you are. Man up and figure yourself out before you mess with anybody else's life.

working on it on September 11, 2010 at 10:03 AM

Wow, I'm actually your dream girl...red hair, green eyes, very athletic, boobs, into bi guys. Not available, but I'm sure I'm a dime a dozen, really.

Don't listen to @37 (I don't think you're secretly 100% gay, probably), or better yet, listen and make sure you're honest with that girl you marry!

og on September 11, 2010 at 12:46 PM

Dear C.S. You're the kind of douche bag that gives responsible bisexual men a bad rap. Please don't get married till you find the spouse that is okay with your sexual orientation. And yes you are gay. In the meantime, come here you little fag so I can treat you like crap and make you do everthing including kissing. Now I am, yawn, going to go take a nap.

Wannabee Burningman on September 11, 2010 at 1:31 PM

Wannabee Burningman on September 11, 2010 at 1:37 PM

hahaha
Here's what all these sensitive seattle guys are like when their moody, vegan gf/wives aren't around.
I heard the demo for this guy's indie band.

IT SUCKS

on September 12, 2010 at 2:35 PM

I heard this guy's demo:

it sucked after the first 2 minutes

SleepingWithNannyState on September 12, 2010 at 2:38 PM

I married a bisexual man. He's wonderful and amazing and loves to fuck and be fucked. You are a sad pathetic loser who treats people, male and female, like things. You know exactly what sort of wife you will order, probably online. You know how you will love her and she will love you and it will be exactly like you paid for. Just like these guys who are acting out just the fantasies you want them too and leaving before you have to do anything human with them, like talk or kiss. Guess what, even if you get everything you want you'll still be alone in your little plastic world with your living dolls that do just what you think they should and they're all secretly laughing at you. Toodles!

on September 12, 2010 at 5:08 PM

Just admit that you are a hedonistic-sex-feind with a sex drive with gears that only a man can kick start let alone manhandle the gearshift into 4th gear or even 5th. Because a woman will never get you past 2nd . . . and unles you are completely honest with her, she will think it is all her fault. you have learned to love the cock, and you have learned to love the cum, now you need to learn to love the truth and be honest with yourself. so you can love anyone else and be honest with them.

on September 12, 2010 at 8:22 PM

I honestly hope you don't marry a woman, but if you do, please make sure you are always safe with her, because you know you can't promise you'll be safe with yourself. Be honest with her so she doesn't blame herself when she realizes that her husband is what you are. Maybe look for someone who will get into it, who will order you to do what you already want to do. Also, you might want to look into Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and I assume you were molested, so please seek therapy for that. Not to cure you from what you love, but to deal with your needs in a safe, sane, way. You can't have a consentual relationship with a woman until you are completely honest with her.

on September 13, 2010 at 1:52 PM

Umm...girls can make you feel "dirty or like a worthless piece of cocksucking shit like a guy can" You may not be dating the right girls.

BTW, if feeling like a slut is what you suck boys for, girls like sluts, too. Buy a nice, soft dildo and put yourself out there as a bi-boy. You'd be surprised at the number of girls that like watching you blow boys. And, if you let the boys fuck you, you pretty much have a free pass to girly pussy/ass.

Jacques on September 13, 2010 at 5:57 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Boring piece of FICTION.

I liked this MADE-UP story better when it was called BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

on September 14, 2010 at 1:27 PM

I'm really hoping this came from James Dobson.

Geni on September 14, 2010 at 1:59 PM

Fag.

on September 16, 2010 at 10:44 PM

#43 congratulations on your marriage. One of my ex-lovers (female) married one of my friends, they have 2 nice kids now. Odd thing about her husband, he'd been living with a guy back in (state redacted) in a homosexual relationship, came to San Francisco, wound up marrying a girl. His ex- was there, so was I, I had de-virginized her some years before, and we had been to some play-parties since.

But we bi-boys can make good husbands, they have two nice kids and are doing fine. (I am still a single slut, married once to the wrong one, the right one was a relationship I deliberately f$%#ed up.)

Jacques on September 18, 2010 at 10:53 AM

This guy is on meth..its obvious

on September 29, 2010 at 4:03 PM

Marry me?

Sukoi on September 29, 2010 at 5:52 PM

3 word solution: Chicks with dicks.

Basidia on October 4, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Sounds like this guy just needs a good dominatrix.

on October 11, 2010 at 12:43 PM

What a fucking idiot loser! His girlfriend should shove her foot knee deep up his ass! YAWN!

Hate.u.fucking.idiots on October 20, 2010 at 5:34 AM

give in to the cock, just cock, dont erase e mail or hide. just be a dirty fucking whore. that side of bitches like u always wins anyway, fagoot. go suck a dick

on September 2, 2012 at 5:54 AM

I, Anonymous

Confessions of a Cock Slut

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