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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
@also-small: I agree that publicly speaking up for small-dicked guys isn't likely to do much good, but you could at least tell your tactless friend that you'll quit topping him unless he cuts out the trash talk.
@83 - "Dating leads to marriage or it leads to breaking up"? WTF?? My guy and I have been happily dating for 5 years, with no plans to marry OR break up. Get out of your box now and then, it's nice out here.
And finally -- I know a great dick joke, but it's too long to fit here.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Savag…
@SMALL: Tell 'em to fuck off! Size isn't important---you are.
That's my two cents. Dan, you ROCK!
My OH was born with some deformities in the blader/bowel/genital area and, after spending an entire childhood having reconstructive surgery, was left with a heavily scarred, somewhat misshapen and significantly below average cock. He was also patient, open-minded, willing to experiment, a great listener and a very attentive lover. Above all else, he had a sense of humour about sex and had no ego about it.
Our first night together was only meant to be a one night stand, but 8 years later he's still hands down the best lover I've ever had, and he only gets better at it.
That doesn't mean every small guy is going to be a great lover, or that big guys aren't good too. But don't worry that size will unavoidably be a deal breaker. Sexual compatability between two GGG people gets better over time.
Yes, I am being kind to CMA. His way of expressing himself gives him an air of callousness. I'm willing to forgive his choice of words and address his valid questions.
My chief concern is that commenters don't seem to allow for the possibility that a fetish constrains a person's sexuality, and that that doesn't make a person one-dimensional.
CMA has a hard limit. If you are straight you have a hard limit about dating those of the same sex as yourself. It makes no sense to lecture someone about all the fine qualities that people of the incompatible sex have. Be thankful that your hard limit is not something that is kept secret by social convention.
It is indeed unfortunate for those who date CMA to finally reach the level of intimacy required for him to assess his hard limit only to find out that there is no match. He wrote to Dan asking if there is a way to avoid this. We might just as well look at that plea as an effort to spare the feeling of others.
I also suspect as others have mentioned that there are bigger psychological issues afoot and he's using it as an excuse not to enter into a truly intimate relationship (or perhaps is incapable of that). If the latter, then perhaps he should stick with sex workers...
For those Right Winged Conservative Purist Christian GOP'ers or Christian Conservative Democrats or Islamic, Buddhist, Hindu Autocrats around the world that believe only in the union of man and woman; and that women don't have the right to exercise Their choice; and that God only allows Heterosexual Married Sex and everything else is an ABOMINATION; WE should address them!! Everyday, minute, second of our time we should Let them know........
That the world is Not Flat and the Sun doesn't move around it, And there may be more to Peoples Beliefs/Religions than the Judeo-Christian Islamic construct. In-fact there are some beliefs/religions that are older than theirs. We Should let them know that some people choose to be monogamous and would love the same benefits and rights that "married" couples have, That Same Sex Unions are Real. That Sexuality should be defined as what one does to get off with sane consenting adults regardless of Gender or Kink or Sexual Perversion. That Women can be Empowered with their Sexuality and have the Right to Decide to Procreate or not too with Federal Funding. That Equality is not an Ideal to Study and Conceptualize but something that we all should work towards in this the "Greatest Country of the World"!!! Genital Differences and Hairy/Hairless Pubes really to me Not an Issue!
Learn the difference between connotation and denotation, and stop lecturing the rest of us.
Look, I have no agenda against pubic hair - I can appreciate pussies (and armpits) both hairy and shaved.
But pussy hair absolutely does get in the way. If I have to hold your hair out of the way with my hands in order to lick your clit, that means my hands aren't doing other fun things. And long pussy hairs inevitably end up chafing when you fuck.
No way. It's not your right to not be teased for physical attributes you can't control. And telling them they're hurting your feelings avoids the real issue, which is that you clearly are sensitive about the size of your cock. That's like the guy with the bad sunburn asking everyone in the world to close their blinds so he can enjoy his tank top. It's your job to desensitize yourself, or do something constructive with your sensitivity. Own it, girlfriend.
Make a game out of it. Confront the guys doing the joking in a public awkward way, either by loudly stating that they weren't complaining about your small cock topping them for all those months, or by citing the study Dan refers to about smaller men having more satisfied partners. If you ACT like you're not ashamed of your small cock, by talking about it proudly and matter of factly, you will stop FEELING ashamed of your small cock. Doing it Dan's way just reinforces the notion that you have something to be ashamed of, and that they need to be sensitive to your "disability."
Also, it makes you sound like a total wuss.
Waxing is expensive, however, so I can't do it more than every 5-6 weeks--by which time I look neatly trimmed, not completely bare.
As far as odor goes, I thought I would hold less fragrance without the hair, but that appears not to be the case.
And it feels wonderful: so smooth and soft. I don't know why it makes either oral or penetrative sex--or even masturbation--better to be hairless, but it does, for me.
So ultimately, that's who the hair removal is for: me. If a partner requested it, I'd be happy to indulge him, and if he preferred the natural, I'd think of the money I was saving and indulge him, too. But if someone *demanded* any style of hair--whether on my pubis or head--or thought that if I didn't remove it, there was "no point in returning" to be with me, I'd be out the door damn fast.
@nordica: I felt the same way reading that question.
Does anyone else think he was joking when he said "How do you feel about a forearm?" I laughed out loud when I read that.
Added benefit: Recycling! When my husband's shaver becomes too worn out (motor? I dunno) for a close face-shave, it is in perfect condition for a not-so-close pelvis shave. And the timing is perfect since we're both shaved at the same time ;-)
"Stubly the razor says, 'Only YOU can prevent thigh irritation!'"
As for the shaving discussion, I'm there with #104 and #130: A beard trimmer leaves me smooth, but I don't have to deal with ingrown hair or the constant itching.
Shaving of any sort on any part of my body gives me a rash and ingrown hairs. The only exception is leg shaving, IN the direction of hair growth (which leaves prickly stubble, which makes my calves itch when I wear skinny jeans or socks that go above the ankle).
I will not bore you with the numbers of different razors, shaving techniques, and post- and between-shave lotions, salves, and concoctions I have tried.
Waxing gives me a rash and ingrown hairs. Plus I can't afford it.
Epilation (mechanical pulling out by the roots) gives me a rash and ingrown hairs.
Nair did not work for me, and it gave me chemical burns. (And yes, I only tried it on my legs.)
Trimming makes me feel like someone is stabbing me with hundreds of tiny pins in the genitals and pubic area. Not the trimming itself, the walking around with trimmed pubes afterwards. I do NOT get used to the sensation, it only goes away until my pubes have regrown to their usual, natural length, which takes months. A little trimming, a lot of trimming, makes no difference.
I cannot afford laser hair removal. I'd get it in a second if I could. My skin is light and my body hair is dark and coarse and I fucking hate it. I don't know whether to blame my German mother or my Slavic father, but this is definitely *somebody's* damn fault.
And oh yeah, my pubes don't just spring forth from my "bikini area." They also grow on the insides and front of my thighs. Needless to say, I do not go swimming.
I'm just grateful I'm in my late 30s, so the guys I sleep with are old enough to know what pubes look like and don't expect me to be porn-star bald. That's about all I got going for me.
Mitch "Jackass" Daniels
4750 N. Meridian Street
Indianapolis, IN 46208
When I had an online personal ad, I listed some pretty specific physical preferences in a partner (Caucasian or Asian, within a particular height range, painfully skinny, no body hair, submissive leanings, willing to crossdress, kind of effeminate, head-hair long enough to grab) but I also made it clear that I was willing to talk to anyone interesting, whether or not it led to anything sexual/romantic.
And lo and behold, because I asked outright for what I wanted, guys who fit that description started messaging me. I also made some wonderful friends - and because these friends knew they weren't my physical type, there was never any awkward attempt at hitting on me.
So, you can indeed ask for what you want ahead of time - online, anyway. As long as you don't come off like a shallow, fetishizing asshole, people who fit your stated type will respond - after all, don't we all want a partner who considers us their physical ideal?
But maybe you should try asking your partner if he/she wants you to shave. I bet I'm not the only one who prefers my men a little less fussy in their personal grooming.
I've kept it bare there for the past 10 years. I'm pretty sure I smell exactly like I'm supposed to, and I haven't had a yeast infection in more than a decade. I maintain the bare canvas because I like it, it's my preference.
Now, clit size is a much more interesting topic. I'm fascinated by the variety that can be observed in porn, but can't get a good enough look at my own to determine the size. I've tried with the handheld mirror trick, but invariably get distracted.
I find that waxing gets much easier with time--really, it only hurts the first time, and the maintenance waxing is barely even uncomfortable. To avoid ingrown hairs, gently exfoliate every day, and use an after-shave/wax skincare product--I use TendSkin. I never get ingrown hairs, and I am actually very prone to them. I've never been able to deal with shaving--it's too hard on my skin, it grows in stubbly and uncomfortable, and it doesn't last long enough. Waxing lasts for weeks, and when the hair does grow back it's much softer than it is with shaving. I love the way it looks and feels, and so does my boyfriend.
"Fussy?" Shaving my face is a lot more fussy to do and vastly more important to Mrs. J's enjoyment of sex. My shaving below the equator is only a matter of a minute or two a couple of times a week. I did ask her about it and she said she prefers me shaved. It also increases my enjoyment because it allows more skin contact.
For an Austenian, your being willing to forgive his choice of words is a little surprising. After all, how do we know what to make of Lucy Steele early on but by her grammar?
Now if you wanted to exhort him to treat women with a little (or perhaps not such a little) (more) kindness and consideration, as Ms Kim does, whether they fit his bill or not, you'd be on to something. As things are, he's at best not doing himself justice and at worst digging his own grave.
I'm a geologist so i feel its my responsibility to tell you that your partly wrong. Carbon dating is effective but only accurate within about 15,000-20,000 years since carbon-14 only has a half life of about 5200 years. other common isotopes like potassium-40 however has a half life of 1 trillion years, making it ideal for radioactive decay dating.
Just want to let you know since there may be a little backlash for this.
I'm a geologist so i feel its my responsibility to tell you that your partly wrong. Carbon dating is effective but only accurate within about 20,000 years since carbon-14 only has a half life of about 5200 years. other common isotopes like potassium-40 however has a half life of 1 billion years, making it ideal for radioactive decay dating.
Just want to let you know since there may be a little backlash for this.
@109 - your sentiment is bone-selfish but understandable. However, *reality* is that you can pay a pittance in taxes towards the most basic health care for the uninsured who use Planned Parenthood (which isn't all, or even most of the uninsured) or you can pay higher insurance premiums when we go to the emergency room and can't pay. You may not like it, but that's your choice.
Believe me, if I could afford health insurance, I'd have it. Meanwhile, my desire to be responsible for my reproductive health (avoiding using your tax dollars for welfare for an unwanted baby, or treatment for an advanced case of cervical cancer), means I walk through screaming protesters to go to the doctor.
For the record, I'm a trapeze artist. Knowing that one bad injury will sideline me with no hope of paying the doctor, no livelihood and no insurance is a terrible situation, but one I've chosen to be a part of. Please note that Planned Parenthood does not provide any orthopedic or sports medicine services. For those, I'm on my own.
As in going swimming with a local 19-year-old girl : "yuck, you have (5-mm trimmed) armpit hair, luckily I have my razor, quick shave it before anybody else sees it, you'll make everybody puke and you may get hurt !"
As in the choir teacher explaining how bad we just had been singing : "y'all sound, like, you know ? a... HAIRY leg !"
As in being asked, in a tone of vague horror, by younger teenagers who had just seen "Home Alone" : "Is that true, that, in your country, pussies are... not shaved ?!"
And then meeting the goth girl who'd confess she did not shave her legs, because this way they would never itch her boyfriend.
I realized shaving was kind of stupid when I was 17. It was 1977. I stopped. Over the years of wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts (in a warm climate), and of changing in locker rooms where appropriate, I've gotten negative reactions maybe 5-6 times. It's always been from a stranger, and the stranger has always been female. It's been as much as a raised eyebrow or a negative expression. No one else has noticed or cared.
Everything else about my appearance is ordinary. I'm a straight female who wears jeans, dresses, bathing suits, all normal, maybe a few years out of fashion. I have an ordinary haircut, etc. The men I've slept with, if they have had a preference, haven't said anything. Their attention has been on everything else having to do with a date, things like the restaurant or the movie, then later, my breasts, foreplay, sex.
I don't doubt that you've heard negatives about not shaving from individuals. There's plenty of advertising telling women that they're not sexy if they don't shave as well. But put it in context. Do you believe everything you've heard advertised? Was everything else that 19 year old friend and that choir teacher said true? Do you really care what those women think?
Go ahead and shave or don't shave according to your preference. That would be my advice if you were asking me whether you should buy a blue shirt or a green shirt, or if you were making any other ordinary choice as to fashion, haircut, or decorating. There will always be people who disagree with you, but preferences of this nature don't make you disgusting, and they're not representative of the U.S. as a whole.
"I've no problem with a hard limit at all."
Thank you. That's 99% of what concerns me here.
"He should just lead with it."
He seeks guidance from Dan on whether and how he might do this. Those are valid questions. You would answer him "yes" to the former but are silent on the latter. Should CMA meet a random woman and immediately ask about her genitals? No, perhaps the internet is a better way to go. Whatever the solution may be at least that's where our efforts at advice should be directed.
Each time I re-read his letter I am further convinced that his wording is sufficiently vague concerning the manner in which he breaks off his liaisons as to permit any extrapolation. Here we find a Rorschach test for our commenters. You may suppose that he abruptly gets up and walks away, or you may suppose that he's a perfect gentleman in the matter. The letter gives no detail. It only states the fact of the breakup. Let him who has never broken up with someone cast the first stone.
Consider that the letter's total lack of sentimentality (it is clinical in tone) may merely be a stylistic choice for this particular letter and not the dating modus operandi of the LW. Not everyone is an Austenite.
Here is my thought process, and I could be wrong, I freely acknowledge it. He dates women for reasons. Becuase he does not lead with his "requirement" (and while I shall grant for purposes of discussion that it is a true need, I retain a scintilla of doubt), his reasons for dating do not entirely revolve around his speculations about their size. They have sweet personalities. They are pretty. They are hard-working. As they apparently see him more than once, I'll grant that he is capable of appearing to be worth continued investment on their part of emotion, time and effort. These are qualities which, even when mitigated by the lack of a large you-know-what, are excellent qualities in... wait for it... friends. In fact, a true friend might be even a superiour return on the investment of all that emotion, time and effort. But do any of his dates make it into the Friend Zone? Given the way he emphasizes no need to return/point in returning, I infer that they do not. And, as he missed two or three chances to express concern for the emotion, time and effort invested by the women who date him only to find out that they never stood a chance of romance anyway, I infer that that is of no concern to him. As for how he conducts the breakups, you may be entirely correct. Even if he is perfectly sweet about it, though, I think I have enough valid inferences to think that at best he does not assist his own cause to the utmost.
I don't think he has to be a prince to receive genuine and helpful advice. But how helpful is it not to address that he comes off as entitled and off-putting?
in honor of mitch. : > i hope that burns him, even just for a few seconds.
having [total knee] surgery soon, so i'm paying for my own stuff; but maybe i can come back later and give more.
George Takei is awesome! :)
And thanks for letting me know that waxing the privates hurts less than waxing legs - don't quite see how that can be, but I take your word for it (Thanks also @101, 122, 146, for chiming in that waxing doesn't hurt much after the first time).
Then, a few years ago I started dating a woman who had been dating on the softball team for years and she shaved her cooter. She said that all the sidebuckles who were serious about getting their pussies licked liked to shave because it heightened the sensation. That was good enough for me and I was happy to dive right in.
I've often wondered about clit size, however. The only woman that I ever had a long term relationship with who I could not consistently bring to tell-the-world-to-call-me-next-week orgasm had what was, in my experience, a tiny little button of a clit. And that's when I could find it. I always wondered whether that was the problem or whether it was something else. Probabbly the latter, but to this day I still wonder
How about making some friends you haven't fucked? You of all people should know the DRAMA involved when your circle of friends consists of size-queens. I've got a small dick, too, well - only when it's not happy, but still - things like this are why my circle of friends include people I work with, people I went to school with, people who I have more in common with than gonadal impulses. There is a big world of friends out there just waiting to be had ... but not that way. Not all breeders judge or bite (even when you ask nicely ... and that's a good thing!).
http://www.the-clitoris.com/
Contains quite a bit of info besides the vulva galleries, too.
Although, FYI, Planned Parenthood provides plenty of services to queers (like yours truly), including women and men, including lesbians and transmen, and so this is not just a straight rights watch! This is an everyone-watch-out, stand-up-for-ourselves-and-eachother kind of thing. But you know this, I know.
OTOH, when watching a female masturbate -- for herself, rather than for her partner -- there's no THERE there! How can it be arousing to watch a woman's hands on her vulva, barely vibrating? Women's orgasms depend on what's in her HEAD, not what's between her legs!!!
This has nothing to do with persons or personalities. Men are wired visually, women aren't.
I've not yet been with a man who hasn't been fascinated and aroused by watching me.
Too often we, same gender interested, people feel like we are alone in our creation. You are not!!! Look outside your world and see that we are all around you. It may not be as easy to see as the color of skin but we are still in plain site.
We are three gay men having a discussion about how we survived childhood. Being a child may not be how you see yourself but when you are feeling imprisoned in a family home there can be a feeling of hopelessness. This is your test of personal strength to grow and become who you are at the point where you can make your own decisions. Don't forget who you are and make those around you believe you are who they think you should be to survive the expectations. If you have the opportunity to be honest then by all means stand up with pride. If not, know that many of us have gone through the same as you and you can be happy.
It gets better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dating is NOT about finding the "perfect" partner. If you want to find someone who meets your every desire, you'd better be prepared to spend your whole life on a search that will ultimately end in disappointment and loneliness.
Dating is about finding someone who likes us enough to ignore the majority of our faults, and even pretend to like the things that they find unattractive, like small clits or small dicks or body hair. In return, we do the same for them. And, if we need to, we vent our other desires through porn, fantasy, and masturbation.
Sure, you're entitled to your own likes and dislikes and desires. But it's simply immature, selfish, and douchey to immeditaely write off every single person you meet because they're not your ultimate sexual fantasy. Most people outgrow those things by, say, age 20. That you haven't is simply sad and pathetic, and if you don't get a wake-up call, you'll be spending the rest of your life either alone, or in a series of brief and frustrating relationships, because no woman can stand you. Which would you prefer- a small clit, or celibacy?
Also- voicing your "needs" on a first date (or second, or third) could very well leave you with a heel to the testicles. Sure, it might spare a woman from wasting any time on you. But, quite apart from that, it's extremely RUDE. Not only will it scare off any small-clitted or hairy women, it will scare off ALL women. It's kind of baffling that you don't seem to realize this.
So, keep dating, keep quiet, and load up on porn full of big-clitted women. While you're at it, imagine how you'd feel if your girlfriend told you: "We have to break up, because your dick is too small and you're too hairy. See you!" If you ultimately decide to break up with a woman for ANY physical reason, LIE ABOUT IT. When you say, "I prefer larger women", it comes out sounding like, "I am not attracted to you at all, and there's something wrong with you." And it does not go over well, just like if a woman said to you, "Sorry, but your dick is just too tiny to satisfy me." You'd be thinking about that for a while. Make something up- if you can't think of anything, just go for a cliche like "it's not you, it's me", or "it's just not working out between us".
In this situation, telling the truth is simply cruel, douchey, and immature (a pattern with you, judging from your letter). Moreover, it will get you labelled as an asshole, and your ex-girlfriends may warn their friends (who might be clean-shaven, well-endowed goddesses) to stay clear of you.
Often, people date someone who we really like, and when it comes time for sex, we find that our someone is lacking in certain areas. It's only human to be a bit disappointed, but out of respect for the other person, we deal with it, and do NOT bring it up or otherwise indicate our disappointment. Instead, we make a judgement call- "do I like this person enough to deal with their small clit/ tiny dick/ small breasts/ man-boobs/ etc.? Or should I end this relationship now?" Most decent people will give their partners a chance, if they like each other enough, and at least give it time to figure out whether the relationship could work (see the second letter).
However, this is NOT your policy. Your policy is to immediately ditch every single woman you ever date, no matter how much you like her, no matter how much she likes you, no matter how much chemistry you have together, no matter how attractive or smart or funny or interesting she is- all over the size of her clit.
When you hear women talking about their "disappointment", do any of them absolutely refuse outright to have anything to do with a man who measures less than a certain number of inches? Or are they just voicing their preferences?
Your problem is NOT a "preference", as you put it. It's a refusal to accomodate others or treat them with respect.
pre·fer/ Verb1. Like (one thing or person) better than another or others; tend to choose: "I prefer Venice to Rome".
You're not saying "I prefer Venice to Rome". You're saying "Venice is the only place I will ever live. I won't even consider going anywhere else, ever, no matter how nice it is. I just can't stand to even visit any other place, even if I've never been there and know nothing about it. I refuse to leave Venice at all, for any reason."
I shall now delight Mr J by realizing CMA's storngest point in his favour. Please give me extra credit for this, because it is so out of my range.
When we strip away all the distraction about size, what we have on his own testimony is a heterosexual male incapable of attaining a competent state of excitement without providing oral services first. Now I emphasize again that this is not my area of expertise, but everything I have ever read about those inclined to commerce with an opposite sex suggests that Very Few Women Get Enough of That Particular Activity. No wonder his previous woman kept him for seven years. (Of course, one could always speculate about why that relationship ended, but I don't want to contradict myself.)
You misunderstand. Those ain't YOUR taxes. They are OUR taxes. It's the ante you and everyone else puts into the pot so we can have this thing called society. Civilization isn't free, and America was designed to limit the tyranny of the majority. In other words the pot pays for stuff that we don't agree with individually (wars, electric chairs, welfare, abortions, etc.)
Though I'm befuddled why I would need to explain this to a gay woman...
Don't look at what he says he wants; look at what he doesn't want. He is merely making up an excuse to eliminate all but the tiniest minority of women.....because he doesn't want women.
He doesn't explain why he likes this, or the woman's pleasure or even his own. He wants to suck on a woman's clit large enough for him to sub-consciously fantasize it's a cock.
CMA is gay.
"For him, it's like telling a gay man to get over his immature attraction to men"
No it's not, assface mcbitchcunt. Sexual fetishes, no matter how pronounced, aren't SEXUAL ORIENTATION...if so, identifying as heterosexual would indicate precisely what kind of things you were into...and if you, I'm getting a piss vibe.
Back to dick jokes, you fucking lames.
So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality!
It's not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean. However, only a fool takes a canoe out to sea (also a slam against people with large sloppy orifices that are disgusting. Yes, disgusting).
Three male campers were stranded in the woods overnight, and took shelter in a nearby cave. They huddled together for warmth and slept. Upon waking, one said that he had a dream that someone was pulling on his dick. The other also said he had a similar dream. The third said he dreamed he was skiing.
I imagine that receiving oral sex from a man and receiving it from a woman are, in terms of physical sensation, basically the same. Yet almost everyone has a very strong preference for one over the other. So this guy seems to me to differ from the norm in degree, rather than in kind.
How hard is it to begin dating, make out a few times, and then suggest going down on her as an alternative to pushing the relationship too quickly to intercourse? Then you have an answer about potential sexual compatibility. How many women are apt to refuse that offer, or would wait months before allowing it? This seems so obvious, simple, and rapid a way for CMA to screen partners that one immediately wonders, why isn't this happening? Did it take 7 years to find out his girlfriend's clit size? The answer to this "why" is, it seems, the crux of CMA's actual love life issues.
The hardest relationships I've had to end were those where the guy was really great, but simply not quite the right one for me. When things are going pretty well and you have no obvious or deep reason to break up, it can seem really selfish and stupid to end a good relationship just because you want an even better one. In a world where people struggle to find love and compatibility, it can seem silly to strive for a gold medal when you've got a silver one in hand. However, if the chemistry just isn't right, and it doesn't improve despite a good faith effort on everyone's part, then that may be reason enough to move on. Whether it comes down to the size, or the vanilla, or some other random quality or behavior or compatibility issue, people have to trust their honest feelings. It's fairer both to yourself and others that way.
women TEND to be more sexually stimulated by touch and men TEND to be more sexually stimulated by visual, that doesn't mean women aren't turned on visually or that some don't break that trend.
it's not like you hear left handed people getting all upset any time someone makes a casual reference to the tendancy for right-handedness
AND as for small dicks,...let's not forget penile enhancement tools, like the cyberskin 2" extension...then you can have it either way you'd like..some days more, some days less
AND as for small dicks,...let's not forget penile enhancement tools, like the cyberskin 2" extension...then you can have it either way you'd like..some days more, some days less
go on?
Also, you may wish to take a long hard look at those with whom you keep your company. I haven't heard a "blonde" joke for about 25 years nor do I hear "cruel" jokes. Why? Because I choose to spend my time with mature people who have more to offer the world and with that maturity comes a completely different level of humour as well. There are plenty of people who, it wouldn't even occur to them to make a cruel joke if they know it will hurt someone else.
That's just life.
As for YOU, stop looking for things that aren't there. To answer your question: no, it isn't a "double standard." It is two very different situations regardless of it being a man and a woman. In your mind, change the second letter writer to a man and THEN you will see what is obvious to the rest of the world. Or, change them both to women.
Remember that what you focus upon multiplies so if you look for chances for the world to sell you short, it WILL.
By the way, just so you are aware, "double standards" STILL exist and they benefit MEN 99% of the time.
You may be too young to understand this but go take a term in "Women's Studies" and you will then see the "double standards."
Yep, you got to be young to not see that to get bent out of shape because a woman says she likes a big dick but is willing to CHANGE and is more than capable of accepting her partner as he is, big dick or not, has nothing to do with self-created notions of "double standards."
Honey, when you go to work and make 30% less money than those of the other sex and have most of society calling you derogatory names for daring to enjoy the act of sex, THEN, you may have cause to whinge about "double standards" but until then, keep your ears and your eyes open and LISTEN when those who are more experienced are teaching.
Just thought I'd throw that out there. He SAYS he's heterosexual but how does he know he wouldn't like a small dick if he hasn't tried it? Ok, ok...
Fetishes arise, most of the time in males more than women, when usually a traumatic or "life imprinting" event happens around the same time or during a sexual awakening to a person in their pre-pubescent years. The memory of this event becomes internalised and unless the person attempts to work through whatever issues he has experienced to cause the fetish, he will then spend the rest of his life "accepting" that he has to "live with it."
Often, most fetishes are so common that it doesn't cause a problem for the person who experiences them but sometimes, as in the case of this man, they can be detrimental and a block to creating a long term relationship with another.
He needs to speak to a therapist who specialises in sexual issues and work through it and he would be much more comfortable with himself.
Right now, he's just creating problems that don't need to be there.
There is so much fear attached to fetishes such as these that something as enriching to life as sex can be ruined or made so difficult as to create other imagined problems.
He doesn't "need" a big clit anymore than he "needs" to drink or smoke or to write a sonnet or to spend an evening sitting on a mountain top. What he "needs" is food, sleep and water. So, to those who are making fetishes out to be some "grand vision" of what people need, you are incorrect in your assumption. He can work through and get over this fetish the same way anyone else can if they choose to do so.