Savage Love

Comments

turning "rick" into a verb certainly makes all those other names more interesting, too! "rick fox".... hmmmm.

fredricka22 on August 16, 2011 at 6:27 PM

Yay for a new definition! Now, can we also redefine Hinkle?

on August 16, 2011 at 6:31 PM

I probably would not rick my husband. But if I did, Mr. Santorum would be a perfect thing to think about at the time. Both are stomach-turning and leave an awful taste in one's mouth.

wxPDX on August 16, 2011 at 6:44 PM

Thanks for the footjob advice!! Will definitely come in handy (footy? :-)

EricaP on August 16, 2011 at 7:14 PM

There is no better definition. Love it. Love everything about it.

on August 16, 2011 at 7:56 PM

I think that SPD would like to fuck his sister.

slidebone on August 16, 2011 at 8:29 PM

wow. didn't think the name "rick santorum" could make me want to vomit any harder...

bluemoonbaby on August 16, 2011 at 8:36 PM

The new definition seems pretty close to "felching" to me.

Ricardo on August 16, 2011 at 8:47 PM

Great word/definition combo. Succinct, to the point, and will definitely grab attention. I guess this is different from what we old-timers used to call "felching."

Those of you named Rick or Rikki or Ricki, you can always go back to Richard and Erika. Ricki Lake, I dunno what you can do--use your middle name?

Robin8 on August 16, 2011 at 8:48 PM

And from what I hear, felching is not usually performed under duress, Dan.

Ricardo on August 16, 2011 at 8:49 PM

@ 9 - Funny, I didn't feel the least bit concerned... until you mentioned it.

Ricardo on August 16, 2011 at 9:04 PM

Isn't SPC the dilemma of a huge percentage of men (and, okay, people) who watch porn? They want to watch whatever porn they want, whenever they want, but don't want to consider the real humans involved, and, when they do, judge them harshly, especially if they know them personallyl?

Maybe this seems a bit much to anyone who's been to an adult expo, but if 100% of men watch porn, then shouldn't it stand to reason that women who have done porn or stripped should feel 100% secure in their reputation and employment?

on August 16, 2011 at 9:13 PM

We can call people who enjoy ricking rickets, right?

Mrs. DePointe on August 16, 2011 at 9:54 PM

Hoping this one doesn't catch on, or the BF is gonna have to start going by "Rich" or "Richard" or, hell, even "Dick." Poop, blood, and vomit make me sqicky. However, lots of other fluids and activities only squick out repressed EWRers, so how about sticking to one of those in consideration of all the innocent, gay-rights supporting, GGG, and otherwise wonderful "Ricks" out there (so much more common than Santorum).

Ms. D on August 16, 2011 at 10:33 PM

I wonder how many people fantasize about getting Rick Santorum's Santorum Ricked by Rick Santorum. Perhaps we might add a second definition of "rick" (lower case "r") as a specific quantity of Santorum, e.g., "Rick Santorum Ricked a rick of Rick's Santorum. A rick of Rick's Santorum Rick Santorum Ricked. If Rick Santorum Ricked a rick of Rick's Santorum. Where's the rick of Rick's Santorum Rick Santorum Ricked?

daveybee on August 16, 2011 at 10:54 PM

No, rickets is the queasy feeling one gets after ricking (or reading about it, in the case of #14).

Daveybee, you're a genius. Will you marry me?

danfan on August 16, 2011 at 11:18 PM

@6 slidebone - I think you're right. And he could get away with it.

bukboy on August 16, 2011 at 11:41 PM

@2 - pls no redefinition of Hinkle, as I have very cool pals w/ that name.

See also: George Rekers, Eddie Long, Troy King, Richard Curtis, Ted Haggard, Bruce Barclay, Jim West, Larry Craig, Ed Schrock, Mark Foley, Robert Allen, Roy Ashburn & David Dreier. That'd be a whole slew of names to redefine..

SPD/1st letter freaked me when I read it as a SLLOTD, 'cause the brother seems kinda too into the situation. & very judge-y. Here's hoping he tells her to be more discreet, & moves on.

Eva Hopkins on August 16, 2011 at 11:51 PM

Where's the tattoo that's "clearly visible"? There's something a little sus about that first letter.

Ohmigod, @15, I almost peed my pants! Delightful.

Sandiai on August 17, 2011 at 1:19 AM

I think that's a little too close to felching. I'm really curious as to what definitions you've come up with Dan.

niko4ever on August 17, 2011 at 3:29 AM

Actually, perhaps ricking could be the act of felching something under duress, esp. something disgusting.
Nice!

niko4ever on August 17, 2011 at 3:32 AM

It's just not fair to give a disgusting meaning to the word "Rick." There are lots of people named Rick out there, most of whom do not deserve to have their names associated with intense nausea. It's bad enough that random people who happen to be named "Santorum" can barely go out in public; victimizing the Ricks, as well, is going too far.

SAH on August 17, 2011 at 3:41 AM

Yeah, Dan, please don't redefine Rick? The video was hilarious, but seriously, if making santorum into a neologism didn't slow him down, reworking his first name isn't going to make a dent in that stone cranium either. And there are a LOT more Ricks in the world (many of whom support you) than Santorums.

Action Kate on August 17, 2011 at 4:40 AM

@14

Nothing wrong with going by Richard.

BritishRichard on August 17, 2011 at 5:09 AM

Gives a whole new twist to "rickroll". Should the rickroll links now go to 2 Girls 1 Cup?

Tucatz on August 17, 2011 at 5:30 AM

@Ricardo (#11): Did you see the video?

@Daveybee (#15): Ow, I think I just sprained my head reading your post, man.

Robin8 on August 17, 2011 at 7:17 AM

I just had a vision, a bumper sticker from the Nixon era.... Rick Santorum before he RICKS you

TAB46619 on August 17, 2011 at 7:33 AM

What is 'Rickrolling' going to mean now?

jmcruikshank on August 17, 2011 at 8:15 AM

Aww, you missed a perfectly good opportunity to Rickroll your readers with the video link, Dan.

John Horstman on August 17, 2011 at 8:29 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUaKVYCYG…

on August 17, 2011 at 9:15 AM

@ 26 - Yes, but since I never used "Rick", I somehow managed not to feel it related to me.

Ricardo on August 17, 2011 at 9:21 AM

Rick Dees! I forgot all about him!

wayne on August 17, 2011 at 9:26 AM

Re DPS' letter: I wish my sister did shit like that. She'd probably be much easier to be around.

wayne on August 17, 2011 at 9:27 AM

SOLE, your bf sounds like me, a foot fetishist who loves the soles of feet and who used to find it difficult to talk about it with my partner. After many years we've worked through it and his feet are a normal part of our sexual dialog. Most important is his knowing that it's fine with you, that you don't think it's weird or abnormal - that should help him open up and tell you what he really likes. On your giving a foot job, it's possible that, like me, he's not looking for any foot reciprocation, so you might not need to give him one to satisfy him. Dan's foot fucking is a good suggestion, but your bf may also like it if you cover his face with your soles, one or both at once, sliding them over the face so he can lick up to the toes while he strokes. I'd also ask him how forceful he wants you to be, or see if he reacts to your pushing your toes into his mouth, having him lie on the floor below you as you place your feet on his face, etc. Mostly, have fun with it, feet are very sensitive and my bf enjoys having his feet worshiped - I hope you do too!

maxiF on August 17, 2011 at 10:09 AM

maxiF on August 17, 2011 at 10:13 AM

As a 40-year-old Rick, I read this column with a sinking feeling. Bad enough rhyming with "Dick" throughout school-age days. Stop before it's too late! Please!

on August 17, 2011 at 10:33 AM

I think part of SOLE's problem is that he's 20. Give it a rest kid. You need to practice taking 'yes' for an answer and understand that when you insist on reinventing the missionary position to up his kinky game you're really just telegraphing your insecurity and your sexual inexperience. Here's a little secret no one tell bottoms when they are 20: Mostly you're top just wants you to take it like a champ and moan a lot. If you can get that part down you're doing 80% of the work right there.

LukeJoe on August 17, 2011 at 10:41 AM

To the bi guy...I'm a pansexual woman who dates usually middle spectrum sexual orientations. I tend not to date straight men or lesbian woman. I like my partners heteroflexible, bisexual, pansexual, or honoflexible.

Keep looking! I love a man who takes it up the ass. :)

jess6113 on August 17, 2011 at 10:49 AM

i have to agree w/ 22 & 23: don't pursue this, dan. it's not fair, and it's also pretty fucking gross. this will not reflect well on you or your fans.

ellarosa on August 17, 2011 at 10:57 AM

Check it out, and spread the "rick" like you spread the "santorum": www.removesantorumorally.com

troublemaker on August 17, 2011 at 11:01 AM

SOLE - on a more prosaic level, maybe book yourself in for a nice foot massage/pedicure before you see him when you get back?

In addition to Dan's edge of the bed advice, try massaging his balls between the balls of your feet, or using your big toe to stimulate his taint.

ChaoticLolly on August 17, 2011 at 11:22 AM

"Rick" isn't unique enough to Santorum. While I don't know a whole lot of Rick's personally, I think you attack on the name is off the mark--not unlike using an automatic weapons for rabbit hunting. You'll end up doing a lot more damage to innocent people than you will to this one senator, whose name is already in bad shape.

gekogekogeko on August 17, 2011 at 11:27 AM

This is a bad idea Dan. You're attacking a lot of innocent "Ricks" out there for no reason. You're just doing collateral damage instead of targeting the person you want to attack. It's the same thing as carpet bombing an orphanage in the hope that you catch a nearby insurgent camp: ie: a bad idea. In addition you start to undo some of the strength of your original campaign to undermine the name Santorum.

IT would be far better to hijack the twitter feed "Senator Santorum" which was available last time I checked.

gekogekogeko on August 17, 2011 at 11:31 AM

check out "remove santorum orally (dot com)

on August 17, 2011 at 11:33 AM

Perfect redefinition. Good choice, Dan!

djx on August 17, 2011 at 11:56 AM

Am I the only one to find that "Rick Santorum" would be an awkward phrase with the new definition? It would be redundant, literally something like: "Orally-suck-out-santorum Santorum." Kinda sounds like a nickname-plus-real-name combo. Awkard.

Other than that, love the definition! Glad my name is not Rick!

Em Dee on August 17, 2011 at 12:03 PM

And it's already on the Wikipedia disambiguation page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick) which was the 5th result of my search for "rick" in Google. My condolences to all decent Ricks everywhere.

sugar2s on August 17, 2011 at 12:15 PM

As someone whose name is simply Rick and not a short form of Richard, this is going to make some conversations awkward. Frankly though, Santorum has to go, so I'm willing to give up a bit of my societal comfort to get this gay-bashing reject out of the political ring.

on August 17, 2011 at 12:24 PM

Just call him Dick, which like Rick is a variant of Richard. And he's a dick, so it works. Reverse his name phone book style and you got Santorum Dick. Nobody wants a case of Santorum Dick!

Tingleyfeeln on August 17, 2011 at 12:28 PM

Why is no one mentioning Rick Perry? This new definition is perfect for him!

riley on August 17, 2011 at 2:23 PM

And ready to excite and gross out web browsers everywhere: http://www.RemoveSantorumOrally.com

gogomexico on August 17, 2011 at 2:32 PM

@27, Love it! it's on my car for all to see!

jesgal on August 17, 2011 at 2:44 PM

@ 38 - I would presume santorum is often part of what you suck out during felching.

Ricardo on August 17, 2011 at 2:52 PM

DAMN!! You guys must lay in wait for Dan's Column and hop on early. It's 6pm on the 17th where I am and there's already 53 comments! Guess I'll have to get up EARLY next Wed. to have a chance.

dragonslayerwun on August 17, 2011 at 2:58 PM

Since Rick Dees brought the world "Disco Duck", I think he actually deserves it, for that alone.

Chris in Vancouver WA on August 17, 2011 at 3:37 PM

@ 55 - Try checking it on Tuesday evening.

Ricardo on August 17, 2011 at 3:55 PM

I think it's time we had a contest for a new definition of Bachmann before she gets even worse.

wayne on August 17, 2011 at 5:49 PM

@50: Yes!

Bachmann: the art of dressing up like Conan the Barbarian while punishing one's lover. Only gay people could practice the Bachmann.

(I think my definition is too tasteful, but it's the best I could come up with.)

on August 17, 2011 at 6:12 PM

I don't think the suggest definition limits ricking to just ricking santorum. I read ricking as a portmanteau of "raunch" and "lick." So you can rick santorum or you can rick other things too! I love it.

LukeJoe on August 17, 2011 at 6:48 PM

Bee-Tee-dubs...rickingsantorum.com = available!

LukeJoe on August 17, 2011 at 6:50 PM

OK, now let's define 'Cheney' (no elaboration needed)

blahdittyblah on August 17, 2011 at 8:06 PM

@ 58 - Actually, an enema exposes the tissue lining the rectum, making it more prone to cuts or bruises during anal sex, therefore increasing the risk of aids transmission. This is not a good idea in itself, but even worse if you're planning on having unprotected sex, which is essential to felching.

Ricardo on August 17, 2011 at 9:48 PM

What made you assume SPD was male?

on August 17, 2011 at 10:02 PM

What made you assume SPD was male?

on August 17, 2011 at 10:05 PM

What made you assume SPD was male, Dan?

Chllr on August 17, 2011 at 10:25 PM

@SOLE
Take it from me, a guy who recently revealed my foot fetish to my girlfriend. What you're doing right now for him is definitely enough. He's probably embarrassed (as I am with my girlfriend) that he's sucking your toes, even though he no doubt it loves it. And he's probably also gauging your reaction, to see if you're okay with it, because even though it's harmless, it is kinda weird - we get it. The more you're cool with it, the more he'll open up.

on August 17, 2011 at 10:50 PM

Don't worry Ricks, I don't think it will catch on.

niko4ever on August 17, 2011 at 11:58 PM

Dear DanFan,
Yes, I will marry you, provided, a) you're a girl and b) you promise never to Rick me.
yrs,
daveybee

daveybee on August 18, 2011 at 12:12 AM

@ 73 - I merely did a search with "enema" and "hiv transmission", and tons of pages and studies come up.

If you read my post correctly, you'll notice that I never said you claimed felching was safe. I was only challenging your assertion that all bottoms should have an enema before anal sex. It IS recognized as a factor in transmission, whether you personnally are aware of it or not.

Ricardo on August 18, 2011 at 6:40 AM

Simplest way to keep greasy shit off yer cock is with a scumbag. Dan is right-on with his scumbag.org approach! Shove that up your google.

Name on August 18, 2011 at 6:56 AM

@ 73 - Following from my post @ 74 - Keep in mind that there's no such thing as "absolutely safe sex". Condoms break, sometimes. That's why at one point they called it "safer sex".

Ricardo on August 18, 2011 at 7:24 AM

@73 - this straight woman has had plenty of anal sex, and has never had an enema. The idea of it being a little dirty is part of the thrill, for me.

EricaP on August 18, 2011 at 8:04 AM

@73, I'm curious, at what point in the evening does the bottom do the enema? Before heading out that evening? In the restaurant bathroom, while the top has another drink? At home, before starting to make out? At home, after the clothes have come off and things are hot & heavy? I've never understood this.

EricaP on August 18, 2011 at 8:07 AM

Fight hate with hate. Rick became dick a long time ago. You just recently, apparently.

Cletus on August 18, 2011 at 8:12 AM

@ 78 - If you must have an enema, I'd say it's preferable to do it before going out. It's unlikely you'll have another bowel movement before quite a few hours, so you'll still be clean inside, but your rectum's lining will have had a bit of time to regenerate.

Ricardo on August 18, 2011 at 8:21 AM

If Rick has now been redefined, doesn't there need to be a web page about it to come up in web search results like spreadingsantorum.com?

sweet g on August 18, 2011 at 9:00 AM

To SOLE: Your bf may want to take you shoe shopping! This is great long-term foreplay for hetero footies.

on August 18, 2011 at 9:17 AM

@47, I was thinking the same thing. i'd like to propose a different definition for rick.

rick (v): to orally remove anal contents, especially Santorum ("He was so grateful for the lay that he ricked his partner.")

on August 18, 2011 at 9:22 AM

don't redefine the word rick-it might out somebody named rick

thecatfarted on August 18, 2011 at 9:48 AM

dont redefine the word rick, it might out somebody named rick who isnt ready, like if he has a semi-femmy voice and noone suspects and then theres this rick thing going around the school

thecatfarted on August 18, 2011 at 9:53 AM

I'll take Footjob, Option B, Dan--oh yeah! just make sure the other one's where it belongs--in my face!

There are also mfmff websites like footbuddies, myfriendsfeet, etc, where SOLE can go to learn.

rayy on August 18, 2011 at 9:58 AM

LukeJoe--your post depresses me. Nothing wrong with trying to find new ways to make someone you are with happy.

rayy on August 18, 2011 at 10:05 AM

I've seen that SPD letter before. Has it been recycled or was it on the Savage Love app?

Re redefining Rick: Not necessary. The damage has been done with Santorum. So much so that even my brain thinks of the redefinition when I hear the word. That video is hilarious btw. Kudos to those participating, esp. Rick Fox.

repete on August 18, 2011 at 10:18 AM

S.O.L.E. - Being a woman who caters professionally, to foot fetishists, I will say that the biggest thing you can do to please your partner is to just be comfortable with having him love and admire your feet. Keep them in nice shape - you can learn to give yourself great pedicures. Be open to discussion, but also keep it casual, let him open up as he feels more comfortable. Ask him if he enjoys the smell (not stinky, just the intimate perfume of clean feet that have been in shoes and socks all day.) Ask him a bit about how he thinks his feelings developed - this fetish often predates sexual feelings entirely. Try having him lie on the floor while you sit on the edge of a table and dangle your feet over his body, letting yourself rub him softly with your soles. Perhaps shoe shop with him and have him show you if there are any types of shoes he especially enjoys on you.

Racquelle Dixon on August 18, 2011 at 10:45 AM

Somehow the fact that ricking would be an act close to licking would make me feel like I was being racist against Asians when I said it.

on August 18, 2011 at 10:49 AM

In Soviet Russia, Santorum Ricks you!

on August 18, 2011 at 11:33 AM

@ 91 - enemas + broken condoms, not enemas + condoms.

I don't see what's ridiculous about my assertion. The dick up my ass (or my dick up someone else's) may cause some damage to some parts of the rectum... but much less (or none) if everyone's properly lubricated.

Enemas remove the lining of the whole rectum, which is a mucous membrane (that means that it's highly absorbant, in case you didn't know). Combined that with a broken condom, and you've got a high-risk situation.

Let's just say that you care more about cleanliness than about health. Your thing. But please don't spread potentially hurtful info.

And also, there's a very good way to filter the bullshit on Google. It's called reading and using your brain.

Ricardo on August 18, 2011 at 11:56 AM

Yay for all the attention you gave us kinksters in this week's column!

MelanieBlau on August 18, 2011 at 12:30 PM

All of a sudden I don't think I'll be ordering that second Gin Ricky.

on August 18, 2011 at 1:15 PM

@cockyballsup

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0620.…
"An enema prior to anal sex is not a necessary procedure, and it is uncommon."

Tristan Taormino: "If you are in good general health...then the rectum and anus will be generally free of fecal matter after you go. However, if [you have] gastrointestinal problems... you may want to have an enema before anal sex." (The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, p25)

http://www.pridealive.org/Queer_Health/a… says:
"it's very important that you do not use enemas (douche) before anal sex. In fact, if you’re not constipated, or your doctor hasn't instructed you to do so, you should avoid enemas in general."

Besides your own squeamishness, what evidence do you have that most bottoms use enemas, and that it's safe to do so on a regular basis?

EricaP on August 18, 2011 at 1:24 PM

C'mon people- You can't have Santorum w/o Rick and vice-versa... let's lock them together in a mellifluous synergy: the oral removal of lube and fecal matter... If the kind-hearted Ricks of the world are concerned about the negative association, then let's say "Rick" only alludes to the removal of santorum when used in conjunction with the last name "Santorum". So Santorum's "Rick" only means santorum removal when you have a full "Rick Santorum"

on August 18, 2011 at 1:43 PM

100

@ 98 - Have your enemas, then.

Having had two LTRs with POZ guys, I can assure you that I have received plenty of information along the lines of what Erica P quoted, from various clinics and doctors, and in various countries, and none that correspond to your sources. Sorry I can't give you the links - there were no links. Most of this was before the Internet. I'm that old.

Of course, I must also disclose that I would never trust medical info from the US anyway, as the pharmaceutical lobby is too strong there to guarantee objectivity.

And I'm happy to report that I too am in my 40's and still negative. In spite of the 1000+ anal sex partners I've had.

Ricardo on August 18, 2011 at 2:32 PM

101

@99, through Googlebooks I can see that Jack Morin says: "If, however, you are concerned about cleanliness, you might want to give yourself an anal douche."

That's hardly a strong recommendation that it's crucial to do so. And since you're so vehement that not cleaning out is "barbaric" and "dick-limpifying," I'm betting your friends wouldn't tell you if they occasionally have some fun sans enema.

EricaP on August 18, 2011 at 2:56 PM

102

@98, 101: I'm sure they still clean their asses, just in the shower with a finger. You don't need an enema to clean out and it's hardly expected.

BlackRose on August 18, 2011 at 4:54 PM

103

"Rick" has been submitted to Urban Dictionary -- it should be posted in the next 48 hours. Be sure to swing by and give it a thumbs up!

on August 18, 2011 at 6:49 PM

106

@104 - thanks for the cordial answer, cocky! Me, I'm no longer having anal on those initial dates, for other reasons. But I won't fuck a new guy when I'm at the tail end of my period, in case a little blood shows up -- so that's pretty similar to your approach.

EricaP on August 18, 2011 at 9:58 PM

107

@104: Yes, but you can be thoroughly clean in your ass without an enema. Just shower and wash carefully.

@106: Lame! I hate when that stops people. And that's totally different in that poop is gross, whereas a little blood is no big deal.

BlackRose on August 18, 2011 at 10:11 PM

108

@107/106 Erica and Blackrose

I personally find period blood (which has a different colour/texture) than typical blood to be a little gross actually. Not as gross as poop! At all! But still not a welcome addition to my sex life.

I don't like having sex on my period whether it's a new guy or a LTR. That's more of a personal preference thing than a "considerate" thing. But yeah in an LTR I've definitely had sex on days where I wasn't 100% there wouldn't be a trace of blood.

As for enemas/cleaning/etc, I had always heard that the area is pretty poop-free assuming you've gone to the washroom and other tactics are unneccesary/harmful. Maybe we should have some tops weigh in.

mydriasis on August 19, 2011 at 6:36 AM

109

Please oh please work on Bachmann. This evil cow and her mean-spirited, dangerous, nancy-boy "husband" have earned their Google-bomb. That "Dr" Marcus dares to call himself "Dr" just because he bought a PHD from overstock.com makes me dislike him enough. That he is using his medicare-funded clinic to emotionally scar young gay men into repressing their sexuality makes me furious. I am a gay man who will be 50 in a month, and I still remember how lonely I was as a boy thinking I was the only one like me. We have come too far. Don't let the Bachmanns of this world take us back.

on August 19, 2011 at 8:44 AM

110

Rick Santorum? Dan Savage, you are a very bad man <3

Tiram on August 19, 2011 at 2:46 PM

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