Enough hate on the doctors already. They're human, nor mind readers and some are better than others at medicine and dealing with patients. There are many causes for many ailments so sometimes a shotgun approach--suspecting a common cause for the most obvious symptoms--is warranted on an initial consultation.

Sometimes it takes more than one visit to nail down a chronic ailment. Sometimes doctors get it wrong but often a cause can eventually be found through trial and error using a science-based approach to treatment. Or you could abandon evidence all together and take your chances with a homeopath, faith healer or other fantasy-based practitioner.

Re medical advice for genital and/or sexual problems:

The better medical schools DO train students on these topics, sometimes in great detail. Not every doctor goes into a specialty where they develop and maintain this expertise, but they should be able to recognize a problem and refer to the correct specialist. Often OBGYN, Urology, or Psychiatry can often help. Sometimes the problem is due to a general medical condition, in which case an Internist or Family Med probably would be the best doctor to help you.

If you have seen one or two doctors who are clueless, please don't get discouraged. There are others out there who can help. Sometimes it takes awhile to diagnose a problem, because it may not be explained clearly by test results, which are often used to rule-out emergencies or common problems. Not every disease has an absolute cure, and some 'cures' are worse than the disease, but almost all suffering can be alleviated.

You can help your doctor by preparing a detailed list of your concerns and their timeline, what makes your symptoms better or worse, any other medical problems you have, what medications and other substances you use, etc. You can also prepare a list of questions for your doctor, so that you don't forget to ask anything important during the brief visit. State your biggest concern at the beginning of the visit, because this is often what the doctor will pay the most attention. Try to paint your problem in terms of function (what you can or can't do) rather than repeatedly emphasizing severity of pain (which is of course also important).

Hope this helps! Good luck to y'all!

I do give my gynecologist a lot of credit for listening to me when I said that I had painful intercourse (a previous doctor said I looked fine and to use more lube, and left it at that), ruling out common problems such as a yeast infection or STD, and correctly diagnosing me with VV and referring me to a specialist. She has been wonderful.

Unfortunately, the only pelvic pain specialist in my region is an evangelical doctor. His practice is covered with religious materials (including on the ceiling above the exam table & stirrups) and pamphlets advising that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven and all other religions are false. He is part of a group that aims to use the practice of medicine to evangelize. I think that this is an abuse of power, especially when you are the only doctor in a certain specialty available to people. Plus, women need to be comfortable telling their gynecologist their sexual history, even if it includes extramarital sex, abortions, homosexual acts, prostitution, or similar non-Christianity-friendly issues. End rant.

In general, though, I don't have a negative view of doctors (actually, I am married to one). I think there is variation, as in any profession.

@107 repete: I don't have any hatred for doctors, except that I don't have much respect for those whose idea of offering a remedy is "try this new drug and check back with me in 2 weeks". My beloved mother passed away three years ago after a battle with Parkinson's because her frail body finally gave up from being prescribed too many useless drugs and no cure.

Yes, physicians are humans and prone to error like the rest of us, too, but they don't have to make the pharmacists rich.

@111: Agreed!

@111, there is a whole organization dedicated to blending Christianity/faith/evangelism with the practice of medicine.

http://www.cmda.org

They specifically discuss the importance of sharing faith with patients, although they try to maintain some semblance of ethics by including a lot of caveats.

http://www.cmda.org/WCM/CMDA/Issues2/Hea…

I found the whole thing appalling.

@113 I don't necessarily have issues with this in theory. It depends on how they do it. I think that it would be great if I had a doctor who shared my faith, because they would understand completely any way that faith might affect my decisions.
I also don't have a problem with them having their faith as long as they don't try to force my decisions to fit their morality. That's not to say that many doctors don't try to do exactly that. It sounds like the experience you had was one of those. And, as you said, being the only doctor of that type does make things more difficult as well.
As an example, my PCP has a few religious pictures/saying in his office. Occasionally when talking to him, if you know what you're looking for, you can pick up hints of his faith. However, he has never pushed his faith on me (and he's been my doctor since I was a born)or made me feel uncomfortable about asking any question.
It's a tough line to walk. I don't think anyone should push their religion on others, but I also don't think that anyone should be kept from expressing their religion to the extent they see fit(barring violence in the name of religion of course), even in a work setting.

@114, I live in the south, so I'm used to a few religious pictures and the stray Bible verse on a clinic's website. My dentist had Christian rock playing once, and it was annoying but not really offensive to me. I don't need to feel comfortable telling my dentist about my premarital sex with my boyfriend, though. The clincher for me at this OB/Gyn's office was the pamphlets on finding Jesus that explicitly said other religions were false and would send you to hell. We're not talking about general, non-denominational "God loves you" stuff at that point. These pamphlets were in the exam rooms and on the doctor's desk.

The poster on the ceiling over the exam table was the final creepy touch. I really don't like staring at a poster about God and Jesus while getting a gynecological exam!

I think we agree that this is definitely taking the displays of faith too far. Even all of that wouldn't bother me so much if it was just one of many clinics in the area, and people could self-select to go there if they share his views.

>Here's more on variation-- Some women complain about mammograms. I'd say they don't have to hurt. The compression is considerably less than you get with an arm band for blood pressure, and it takes even less time. It's just a quick squeeze, more awkward than anything else and not necessarily terribly awkward. But I know some women say they hurt a lot. I don't know what accounts for the difference.

Likely, the major factors are size, density, and sensitivity. I have trouble doing self-exams (and, in fact, generally don't bother) because, every time, I come to the exact same conclusion--they're large, they're lumpy, and it kind of hurts to poke at them.

@118: While you've got some good points, I'm still going to wait until I'm 50 for my next mammogram screening. It's not high on my list of favorite to-do activities. Ig.
I'll take a blood pressure cuff any day. I've got my own, kindly provided by the VA, and check my BP regularly.

For those out there born this way that turn gay . Because they think it's the only alternative. Please know that there is another way to be loved. And that is by women that have had there bad man in their life. And left that terrible life behind. They want love and acceptance too! And are most likely willing to not look for perfections. Look beyond the physical body.Please don't give up on yourself. And don't give up on women. Maybe not the younger crowd of them anyway.
Angel

Roommate's Anal Movies:

If your roommates comments offend you, I'd tell him that they offend you. If it were myself, I'd also mention that they offend me partly because I am gay.

I really don't see a good reason to bring up his dildo-movies with him _in regards to this issue_. If you're good enough friends with him to mention you've run across them without fearing he'll go apeshit, you ought to be good enough friends with him to mention that you don't like his homophobic comments, or that you yourself are gay. I'm guessing this isn't the case.

The last thing I'd do with a person I'm stuck living with, who isn't aware I'm gay and makes bigoted comments, is try to get into bed with him, as has been suggested, above. That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

@Gwyn, I'm late to the game here, so you may not see this, but wanted to chime in anyway. Long-term use of birth control pills can lead to very painful sex for some women, something I didn't learn about until it happened to me. Finally referred to a great gyn at a med school, and she had me stop bc pills and switch to the Mirena instead. Made a world of difference for me.

@nocturnomath: Find another gynaecologist, one who specializes in "sexual dysfunction" (I know, horrible term). I was blessed to find one almost immediately, and after patience and exercises (no surgery!!) I am enjoying an active sex life including vaginal intercourse with my husband. Don't give up!!
The treatment included topical creams, long warm baths (really!), practising with a dildo of varying widths, physiotherapy of the vaginal muscles (Kegel exercises. If you don't have VV you discover them during pregnancy), and lots of intimacy and understanding with your partner. I found one who was willing to wait for a hundred years if need be; so will you. Good luck!

@124, Six weeks ago I actually went off of my birth control pills for the first time in ten years after reading the comment from @13 Rojo_SD. It hasn't been long enough to know for sure if my vv is completely "fixed," but last night I had sex with no pain during or afterwards for the first time in years, without using any painkillers. I am cautiously optimistic (okay, I'm super excited, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much).

I don't think that hormonal bc causes all or even most cases of vv, but I think it's worth looking into before trying more drastic measures like surgery. I know that doctors can't necessarily recommend things that don't have much research to back them up, but I'm glad that I read about the possible bc link on here and wish I'd heard this five or six years ago.

@Nocturnomath and other readers with vulvodynia, vaginismus, vestibulitis, and any other vaginal or anal pain that is constant or solely contact-related: PLEASE PLEASE READ! Look up Dr. Howard Glazer: http://www.vulvodynia.com/contact.htm. He's a specialist in these particular conditions who has designed and who distributes a small biofeedback device that can treat those conditions (http://www.vulvodynia.com/Store/Products…). The device consists of a very small plastic probe attached to a hand-held LED display that shows you the strength of your muscle contractions as you practice sustained Kegels at prescribed short intervals. Daily Kegel practice with the device (which is necessary for improvement; monitoring the strength and stability of your Kegels is crucial and can't just be guessed at)can at least improve, if not completely eliminate, painful symptoms in most of Dr. Glazer's patients. This treatment can, of course, be used along with other treatment methods like topical creams, etc.
Even if you aren't based in NYC and can't see this guy in person, he offers appointments by phone and by Skype. Appointments ($250) and biofeedback device purchase ($350) aren't cheap, and not all insurance plans cover his care, but as a current patient, I can attest that his service is worth every penny. I'm 23 and have had severe vaginismus, vulvodynia and vestibulitis. After trying topical creams, low-dose antidepressants prescribed as pain medication, dildo insertions, psychotherapy, and pelvic muscle physical therapy, only Dr. Glazer's method has enabled significant attenuation of all of my symptoms.
Dan, let's start a fund for Nocturnomath's care! To anyone else, I've spent a lot of time looking for care and working on treatment, so please contact me if you have a question I might be able to answer.
And @MUJ, from those of us who don't rely on vaginal intercourse for our primary or preferred route to satisfaction, give one of us a call :P.