Columns Nov 16, 2011 at 4:00 am

Dear Bloviating Asshole at the Coffee Shop

STEVEN WEISSMAN

Comments

1
I wonder what the bloviating coffeeshop asshole would ever do if he lost his job /business/house/2-seat drop-top Lexus, etc., and suddenly became one of the 99%?
2
The "bloviating asshole" (btw, any truth to the rumor that they're now "teaching bloviation to our innocent children in our taxpayer-supported schools"?)thinks we should spend three days a month in the woods carrying water "to appreciate all that corporations are do for us"?

So...let me get this straight...capitalists think they're saving us all from BUDDHISM?
3
@2 FTW
4
What's wrong, just can't stand to hear a diverse opinion on occupy? I'm laughing my ass off at the people that thought they were joining a "movement", and all they joined was the largest gathering of whiners seen in FOREVER. Seattle will be the last occupy to "get it" after all the others have gone home. Hipsters are SO entertaining.
5
Osage: Despite your efforts to the contrary, you won't be able to convince me that the Occupy movement is fully of only the easy-to-hate-hipsters.
6
The Corporations ONLY have our best intersets at heart.
Same as the dick Cheney.
7
@4 oasge2112: What's wrong, just can't stand to face the truth?
You can think what you want to about the Occupy Wall Street situation, but please don't come mommy-whining to me if you suddenly lose your job, your home, your life savings, and your future because the mega-wealthy pay no taxes--and suddenly--SURPRISE!!!---you do.
8
@6: THAT"S right. Keep telling yourself that.
9
What are the odds human saliva often winds up in the dude's double tall skinny latte?
10
Dear anon. Stop whining, get a job and make something of yourself. This is still America, you can still write your own story. While you're at it review the civics lesson on the constitution, you know the part on freedom of speech. It's completely acceptable for people to think and say things you disagree with.
Love, THE MAN
11
Dear Dr. J: I would recommend that you not cite the first amendment if you don't really understand it. Freedom of speech means that the government shall not stifle or compel speech. Private individuals are totally free to call each other out on bullshit pedantry. That's the social free market at work. Therefore, it is not a violation of your constitutional rights when I opine that you are an uninformed asshat.
12
Re: @6 & @8: Yes, I was being sarcastic.
13
@10

http://www.fareedzakaria.com/home/Articl…

Educate yourself.

Love, The Man who Fucked Your Mom Last Night
14
If the Occupy movement is about singularity of thought, you represent it well. If you see the coffee shop dude as the problem I don't think you have a clue what you want.

Being successful and driving a nice car should not be cause for enmity, no more than your dreads.

Open your mind and figure out what you want. Do you want that man's wealth and feel entitled to it? If you're given your piece of that am I free to hate you and all you apparently represent?
15
Maybe driving a "nice" car isn't conclusive evidence that someone is an asshole. But, as anyone who drives for a living might tell you, the fact that someone feels the need to spend way too much money on a car raises, at least, a rebuttable presumption of assholishness. That Lexus speeding down the freeway towards you in the entrance ramp? Do you think the driver is going to slow down slightly to let you in? Or is he going to speed up and honk angrily at you when you presume to take your place in traffic? Experience shows that the latter outcome is more likely. In other words, people in "nice" cars tend to drive like assholes more than people in less-expensive cars, and thus are more likely to BE assholes.

On the other hand, white people with dreads aren't generally that great, either.
16
If the occupy movement had a point, it was lost in all the rape, murder, and drug use. If they didn't act like it was a Phish concert parking lot the rest of us would take them seriously. Go look up pictures of the civil rights movement. Well dressed people with a message, marching in lines. The people you need to convince are middle americans going to work jobs they most likely hate. I get the feeling joining the protests is really about proving to the other hipsters how hardcore you are and not so much about enacting any real change.
17
There WASN'T any rape and murder among the Occupy activists. Don't spread corporate lies, bloviating asshole.

Why is it so important to "march in lines, btw"? I doubt that Middle Americans think the Occupy Movement isn't UPTIGHT enough.
18
@17

I'll just say my piece here and leave it.

Playing into the stereotype of the unwashed entitled hippie is going to get them exactly nowhere with middle america. I'm sympathetic, shit. But the people the occupiers need to convince before anything changes are cheering on the cops right now. They need to think about the image they're presenting to the world.

This is their chance while the world watches. They shouldn't continue to squander it. Believe it or not, I'm trying to help the cause here. The occupiers are losing the image game big time (coming off worse than the tea partiers? Wow, just wow).

And as to the rapes, the first 3 links on a google search turns up these articles:

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manha…

http://www.observer.com/2011/11/occupy-w…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdroAhxE8…

Good luck.
19
with those towering intellectuals in Westlake agitating for all of us, how can we lose?

Can't wait for the checks to start rolling in.
21
@7..."Truth"...ha. You're so cute.
22
" At least a few people are willing to stand up to the Man and selflessly look out for others"
Love this part. When people are rambling on about what occupiers are doing wrong and how dumb they are, please refer back to this line and remember they are volunteers!
You don't get paid to occupy and it is being done from the heart.
Find something else to criticize and have some respect.
23
@21: Sorry, I'm not into trolls.
24
@23 Ha, that's rich. You, the REAL TROLL, throwing out ows propaganda (don't know who raised YOU, but if they didn't teach you that NOTHING in life is GUARANTEED, ...then they raised you wrong), and then you rail against anyone when you're called on throwing out bull sh!t...You REALLY are so cute, and naive, and innocent and SO ripe for maturity. Life is a journey and right now, you telegraph that you're just starting out.
25
@23 IF however you are already mature and you're still under the impression that destiny is only rosy and guaranteed GOOD...no one ever loses a job, house, life savings...you got ALOT of catching up to do. Do you really live THAT out of balance??? IF so, you're got more problems than "imagined" trolls. P,L & U.
26
This asshole probably didn't tip, either.
27
Corporate Death Burger, Ronald McDonald!
Damned Lex Lutherans and their fancy cars and insatiable need for non-fat extra cream lattes.

Occupy this!
28
How brave, writing your little screed about a conversation you overheard.
29
Fake!
30
Well, I support Occupy because I want something to show for working my ass off. So far all I have is a job I hate, a low-income apartment, a spot on the Dean's List and the President's list at school, and no life. For the last 4 years. And I still don't have enough credits to transfer because of class availability and being laid off constantly in the industry I can't seem to escape.

I didn't realize job security and my tuition not being raised every quarter was asking for a handout. My bad.
31
Stop whining and crying for justice, fairness, equality, and human dignity. Shut up and get me my coffee boy. Grow up! Life is an anarchic struggle and the rules are to trample or be trampled.

Don't like my bigoted dehumanizing views? Well, I thought you people were tolerant and thought everything was relative. I can't believe you people are so narrow minded and elitist that you can't tolerate my right to hate you.

You are so immature, once you grow up you will see I am right and that everyone is against you and you don't deserve to breathe. You have to earn it with hard labor breaking rocks by hand or cheating someone else into doing it for you.

You young people are all alike, cute hipsters! All of your opinions and hopes and dreams are so small and pathetic and will be swiftly crushed in adulthood! NOTHING is GUARANTEED but your destiny to TASTE MY BOOT!
34
@33: would slade have voted any different?
35
@24 & @25: Excuse YOU, Troll King! I am a college educated veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces, living on my own, working hard, paying my share of taxes, and living within my means! Your pathetic opinion of how I was raised is irrelevant! Before you choose to spew any more of your brainless, propagandic raw sewage at me or anyone else, pull your head out of YOUR John Bonehead ass and get a clue about what's really going on!
Idiots like you are largely why the U.S. is in such deep economic shit right now.

Thank you not at all.
36
And one more thing, @25 going on 12: Whatever gave you the idea that I was "cute, naive & innocent"?? You've never SEEN me! You've never MET me! You don't even KNOW me!

Given the ridiculously immature content of your latest eruptions of exaggerated hysteria, I'd say I was in the U.S. Navy long before you were even a twinkle in your parents' eyes.

You're the one getting my vote for "unbalanced", Bubba-Troll. Just FYI, but you might want to check the chemical content of your breakfast cereal.
37
I don't know about you guys but I'm still stuck on the "go spend three days a month living in the woods carrying water so they appreciate all that corporations do for us". Does he think corporations bring us water and we should haul water to see how hard it is for corporations to do that for us? Or, is he saying that corporations do hard physical labor and we should do hard physical labor so we know how that feels? WTF does that even mean?

BTW, all of the anti-OWS folks have focused intently on the "Xbox-playing, iPad-using" etc etc protesters. I've only spent a little time at the Occupy Minneapolis protest but I didn't see any technology outside of basic cell phones. Almost no smartphones of any kind. In all of the pictures I've seen of the protests nationwide I haven't seen more than a couple laptops of any kind. Where do people get this idea that the protesters are hauling around all this expensive technology?
38
Gah! I'm so dumb. I'm sorry. You know, I realized something after hitting post on that last comment. I'm expecting conservative pricks like that guy in the coffee shop to make some amount of sense and have some sort of connection to reality. That was totally my mistake and I'm sorry for any confusion I might have caused anyone by expecting that teabagging shit head to have any remote grasp of the real world.

As for those who imply that OWS protesters are the hipster Apple equivalent of The Borg with their amazing technology. I had a momentary laps where I thought mindless teabagger fucks actually needed to see any evidence at all to spread their ignorant slander about people they disagree with. I totally forgot that if Limbaugh says OWS protesters have a USB port in the back of their neck then they do. If Beck says they're all carrying around $12,000 worth of high tech equipment then that's fact.

My apologies to anyone I might have confused.
39
If thinking that Sgt Doom is out of his mind is equivalent to being a SHEEPLE, I'll bleat my heart out with the rest of the 99% who are too.
40
@osage2112 Education is an important part of the OWS movement. When the wealthy pay an equivalent portion of their incomes in taxes, school systems receive better funding and therefore might - MIGHT - be able to impress upon more people that it's "a lot," not "alot." Why don't you send me the address of the cave or old-timey bridge where you live? I'd be happy to send you a copy of Strunk & White's Elements of Style. Hey, maybe I can snag you a leftover copy from when the cops destroyed OWS' library!
41
Dear Anonymous,

How about instead of writing an Anon post to bitch about someone who sees things differently, you start a conversation with that person? Maybe exchange points of view in a brief but intelligent manner? How else do you expect to gain support and sympathy for a cause?
43
Has anyone else noticed that the folks who like to bandy the "American dream: quit whining, work for it and make something of yourself" argument are also generally the same folks who like to carry the flags for the "all our jobs are being shipped overseas" and "illegals are stealing our jobs at home" camps? They seem mutually exclusive to me.
44
31 FTW!

@35 You don't have to validate yourself to that shitbird.
45
@39 For the WIN!!
@44 McGee: I know, but thanks for the support. Here's hoping we finally shut the shitbird up.
46
Finally, a believable I,Anon! I've witnessed many assholes like him myself. When they say "get a job" they're really saying "I have no idea what America is like right now."
47
@7: No, let him come whining to us. This movement is about helping people in that very situation, as well as many, many others.
48
@47 suddenlyorcas: Even better! Will do. Thank you for all you're doing in OWS. Keep up the good work!
It actually sounds more like @4 is actually criticizing Occupy Wall Street / Occupy Westlake, etc. instead of wanting, needing, or admitting he needs help financially and /or occupationally.
Good luck! He sounds like a hard nut to crack.
49
OWS makes me sad, because as much as I support them in theory I don't see them achieving their aims (and what are their aims anyway?) When I see them on TV, I see mostly white, middle class college-aged kids with green hair and piercings. I have nothing against these kids, but those are the kinds of people you'd *expect* to see squatting and protesting, right? I can't join them because I'm nearly 30, and I'm too busy hustling 3 jobs to support my family, and if I tried to get time off work to go protest I'd lose these jobs. I'm exactly in the target demographic of people OWS needs to be reaching out to if they want their movement to have any sort of longevity, but it's not happening. Unemployment is up to 9%, so what? 91% of us are still on the grind and don't have time to pay attention to this "movement", although we're just as affected by corporate greed as the protesters. We're too busy trying to keep our heads above water and stop our jobs from moving overseas. Once middle-class wage slaves join OWS, and retirees and former CEOs of small businesses that went under and even equally disgruntled Tea Party members, then - and only then - will the 1% start to get scared. Until then they're just preaching to the choir.

India has an amazing anti-corruption movement underway, headed up by a charismatic and intelligent leader who is able to bring public concerns straight to parliament...we need someone like this: http://www.annahazare.org/
50
@49 the spiral: Thanks for sharing! I agree: more needs to be done by the majority of us effected by corporate greed in order to really make them listen.
Right now, the U.S. is divided into special interest groups.
51
Bunch of dumb fucking idiots on both sides. Who couldn't have seen this financial chaos coming years ago? What with daily credit card come-ons in the mailbox and outsourcing good jobs, insourcing the left over junk jobs to illegals and house prices being bid up waaay past the average income, it was bound to happen.

Crooks on wall street and crooks using 'social justice' to scam government money are both having a huge laugh over the people living at street level fighting over bogus left/right crap. The guy driving the Lexxus with the Wall Street Journal at his side and the idiot driving the Subaru Outback with all the Obama/Biden stickers on the bumper look equally ridiculous.

Live cheap, keep your eye on the horizon and survive. Oh, and I couldn't care less about some clown in the coffee shop line, let alone the eavesdropping holier-than-though busy body criticizing him 'cause I make my own coffee at home and save a ton of cash. Keeps me from having to listen to either of your guy's bullshit.

You self righteous clowns go hug a Republican, 'cause you're both cut from the same cloth.
52
@51 ironvic: You make good points, too. My Dad never believed in credit cards, and he & Mom firmly instilled in me not to spend money I didn't have. I'm hoping I've learned from past mistakes.

Meanwhile, I'm making one of your statements my creed: Live cheap, keep my eye on the horizon and survive.

Who the fuck (besides the late Leona Helmsley and her dog) needs a Mega-Mansion, anyway?
53
The Anon is just as much a prick as the person he's ranting against.
54
I've got news for you ... If this person is driving a Lexus, listening to a Bose stereo, sipping espresso and playing with an iPad, they ARE NOT the 1%. They are either financing all of this with debt, or fall in the upper middle class tax bracket (who by the way, get hammered with taxes harder than any other group).

Stop whining.

55
@54 DanOh: Who's whining? I'm just saying.
56
@49: FTW.
57
So, you're jealous that the guy has a job, drives a Lexus, can afford the Wall Street Journal, and is paying YOU to make his coffee? Meanwhile, you've settled for a job as a barista, which leaves you plenty of time to mingle on the streets with the rest of the slackers and belly-achers, blocking traffic for those with real jobs and families to get home to. Rather than being willing to stand up to the man and "selflessly" look out for others [yourself], try working for what you want. Until then, you're just looking for a handout.
58
The concern over protesters having electronics is silly. It assumes that only the impoverished would protest. Some people stand up to injustice even when they themselves are doing fine. Some will put themselves out there because of what is happening to those around them. If you don't get this, its a compassion thing. Even middle class families who can still pay their bills have good reason to be angry with corporate control over our law makers. Democracy should not be for sale, and our government should protect the rights of individuals over the rights of corporations. I can afford electronics and I'm still appauled at the blatent fleecing of Americans. George Bush Sr went on television in the early nineties urging Americans to invest in 401K's. Regulations were lifted so that corporations could feed off these accounts and rob us of our retirements. We should all be angry. Even those of us with cheap electronics.
59
@58: Agreed!
60
People who drive Lexus's (Lexi?) aren't the one's you should be complaining about. These people typically pay taxes.

Chances are, you'll never meet or have a conversation with the 1%. They live lives incomparable to what we know - and apparently they're doing a good job of driving the wedge between middle and lower class.
61
lexus makes a very nice car that ages well...you might see a 10 year old lexus that looks very nice, even new, but really was quite a bargain.

it seems a shame to judge people for making a smart purchase.

leasing is also a very affordable way to drive a new lexus...with a bit of skill,myou can get one for 300 per month.
62
@61: I'm sure a Lexus is indeed, a very nice luxury car, but I'm fine with my baby, thanks. We all have our preferences.

And no, I'm not being judgmental because you found a bargain. I did, too, and he still runs like a champ after all these years. More power to both of us, yes?
63
@25: Awww look, the trolls are learning how to register their accounts now! How cute!
64
@63 suddenlyorcas: Registered trolls are posting just in time for the holidays? How cute, indeed! It's just like marketing an overpriced new doll, except in regarding @25 and his stooges, we've got more like "Heckle Me Doofus" instead of Tickle Me Elmo.

Now if they could only stop drooling and picking their noses, bypass the ridiculous
"all caps" button, learn how to spell, use grammar correctly in their pathetically irrelevant rants, and actually make a valid point, wouldn't THAT be nice?
But I guess one can't expect too much out of clueless, prehistorically misogynist cavemen.
Sigh.

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