Columns Feb 29, 2012 at 4:00 am

I, Anonymous

God Hears All, and He Hates You

Anonymous
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Comments

1
Me too, I hate it when people behave inappropriately in church. You know, like when the priests rape little boys.
twinkie223 on February 29, 2012 at 9:56 AM Report this
3
Yeah, god forbid we should have any space left for mindfulness in the world. St. Mark's should have a kill switch so that phones don't work, at least during compline...
antleryvr on February 29, 2012 at 10:54 AM Report this
4
Wtf is a compline?
Bloated Jesus is Bloated on February 29, 2012 at 11:17 AM Report this
5
Compline is the last Hour of the Office*, and is conducted before bedtime. It can be observed by Catholics, Lutherans, Episcopalians, and pretty much anyone who wishes to do so. While traditionally, the service was not silent, but was the last bit of speech before nighttime silences, modern non-monastic Compline services are frequently quiet times for meditative thought.

So, yes, talking/texting/extraneous noises in a compline service is a faux pas.

*as in church canonical hours of the divine office
Griffin on February 29, 2012 at 11:45 AM Report this
6
if your gonna believe in the magic man in the sky bs, wouldn't it be more fun to dance around a fire naked, with chicken blood all over you, and then have a giant orgy till the wee hours of night? you know, like voodoo....really...if you think about it, its all the same crap.
rayray on February 29, 2012 at 12:23 PM Report this
7
Fuck organised religion in general, but a very big "FUCK YOU" to asshats like Twink223. You're OBSESSED, and your OBSESSION is keeping you from doing worthwhile things like snorting HUGE PILES OF COCAINE and swilling 40's of MALT LIQUOR. Because without it, you're just a sad obsessed jack-ass who was rejected by your priest in favor for a cuter boy.
Arthur Zifferelli on February 29, 2012 at 4:36 PM Report this
8
And by the way, what's with this whole series of totally BORING I, Anons?
Arthur Zifferelli on February 29, 2012 at 4:37 PM Report this
9
Love the illustration.
This is probably one of those situations where a polite word after Compline or asking the minister/priest/pastor to have a word with the offender would be legit. Kudos for venting here so you can be reserved when you give them words.
Dynomite on February 29, 2012 at 6:30 PM Report this
10
@#9: You've obviously never been to Compline at St Mark's, which is what I suspect this I, Anon is referring to.

This is not a formal service, with congregational participation. Anyone is free to come in and sit where ever they choose, in the pews, up on the dais with the altar, et cetera.

The choir files in silently, performs the service, and files out. There is no "minister/priest/pastor" to have a word with the offender, and since it may be someone off the street who's never even been there before, it's not likely to have any effect if you did.

I agree with IA, even though I haven't attended Compline in years - if you aren't there for quiet meditation, take your ass to Starbucks.
on February 29, 2012 at 9:01 PM Report this
12
no idea what "compline" is.
mtnlion on March 1, 2012 at 7:16 AM Report this
13
Ah, an evangelical and/or Republican in training! "You must worship the One True God (of MY understanding) 'correctly', or you cannot be a member here. Oh, and you'll burn in hell too. We're doing this to 'save' you, so shut up and get back in line."
bkski on March 1, 2012 at 8:08 AM Report this
14
St. Mark's is Episcopalian, which is NOT evangelical, and I would be amazed if more than 10% of the attendants of the Compline service were Republican or politically right-leaning, much less conservative.
sniff on March 1, 2012 at 11:41 AM Report this
15
I feel the same about people in the sauna. STFU. Stop working out, i.e. stretching and doing sit-ups, you old a-hole. And especially: please get your disgusting feet away from me.
SaraJean on March 1, 2012 at 8:48 PM Report this
16
I like this one b/c I am sick of people staring at their fucking cells/ipod/ipads/devices all the time. Look up! Be in the actual moment you're living in. Breath in the air, see who's around you and actually exist in the moment. You could take it as far as mindfulness, but simply being present enough to notice that you are committing a major faux pas during Compline would be a good start.
I miss the opportunity to connect with people in my actual life b/c all they want to do is look at their devices...
lalilolly on March 1, 2012 at 10:23 PM Report this
17
@4 and @12
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=compline

Rubykelp on March 2, 2012 at 4:21 PM Report this
18
It's faster to google a word than to post the question "wtf is..?"

Try google. It's a swell invention.
on March 3, 2012 at 8:29 AM Report this
19
Really, drinking a lot of MALT liquor and taking a lot of COCAINE, is better than going to church or praying.
Bobito on March 3, 2012 at 4:39 PM Report this
20
Phone addicts need their own church where they can embrace the electronic god-bubble without interference from overly earnest Episcopals. (Who are actually closeted Baptists)
drinkup on March 3, 2012 at 8:46 PM Report this
21
well at least if they're texting, they're communicating to someone real, not a made up boogey man in the sky! maybe you should realize how ridiculous you look talking to yourself pretending there's someone listening.
on March 4, 2012 at 2:06 PM Report this
22
Maybe Mr. Atheist should step outside himself and realize that he's being just as evangelical and annoying as those he condemns.

Atheists like you are what discredits us in the eyes of the rest of society. You are clearly angry at God.
on March 4, 2012 at 8:25 PM Report this
23
hello,
I board-op the compline service each sunday night on King Fm. I am not a religious person and am actually jewish by birth. But I have grown to really enjoy the music, peace and serenity that the compline service is all about. give it a try and enjoy the choral chanting.
gabbahey on March 4, 2012 at 10:03 PM Report this
24
I prefer the quite contemplation that I have at home.

But, to each their own.
Slam1263 on March 5, 2012 at 8:15 AM Report this
25
"if your gonna believe in the magic man in the sky bs, wouldn't it be more fun to dance around a fire naked, with chicken blood all over you, and then have a giant orgy till the wee hours of night? you know, like voodoo....really...if you think about it, its all the same crap."

"Fuck organised religion in general, but a very big "FUCK YOU" to asshats like Twink223. You're OBSESSED, and your OBSESSION is keeping you from doing worthwhile things like snorting HUGE PILES OF COCAINE and swilling 40's of MALT LIQUOR."

I would believe in ANYTHING that kept me out of the same category that you two inhabit.
arrant on March 5, 2012 at 9:45 AM Report this
26
I used to live close to Seattle. Although I am an atheist, I went to the compline service several times, at the recommendation of a Methodist minister, because I appreciated the opportununity to meditate with a crowd of people.

I think most of the commenters here are a-holes who would not appreciated the quiet in a hallowed place anyway. I am glad to hear that St Marks still keeps it up (it is ten years since I was in the Seattle area).

I now live in Paradise, in Sicily.
on March 5, 2012 at 5:41 PM Report this
27
@25: Really? What a fucking co-inkie-dink! Because I just visualized skull-fucking you in a midnight voodoo ritual.
Arthur Zifferelli on March 5, 2012 at 10:26 PM Report this
28
Sorry, it really wasn't I who farted. If your eyes burn now -- fucking close'm. Amen.
Tony Pony on March 6, 2012 at 2:23 PM Report this
29
just get earplugs, people even use them to drone out their own snoring when they are waking them selves up! they work!
hans millionaire on March 6, 2012 at 7:19 PM Report this
30
Sometimes I forget that people actually believe in a higher power.
LifeIsFunny on March 27, 2012 at 8:51 PM Report this
31
I love Compline. That half finished box of St. Marks is my haven. Come as you are but don't bring your obnoxious Iphones! The world is filling up with Iphone zombies! All they need is a hoverchair to complete the package... enjoy ignoring your kids and your disuse atrophy.
on April 4, 2012 at 11:00 AM Report this

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