I changed your name in my phone to Kevin Federline just in case I forget that you're a huge douchebag. You simple, simple boy. Did you really think you could get away with fucking your ex-girlfriend's coworker and your best (only) friend's ex-girlfriend? She is the same person, dear reader. All the while, your best (only) friend is slaving away for free, helping you with your new show. Who the fuck do you think you are? You are not smart enough to pull such a stunt. For fuck's sake! You are merely a lazy Seattle "artist" who watches Frasier with your plethora of free time. You're an idiot. I never loved you. You are not the best I've ever had. My new boyfriend and I make fun of your high school football hero stories about which you used to brag to me. Why couldn't you have been my ex who committed suicide? Maybe you will after reading this? You probably wouldn't be successful, though, because nothing about you is a success. Oh well, I guess I will have to 86 you from my life forever.