I'll admit to being an eentsy bit miffed when I saw the advance proofs of this week's Stranger. This "Suggests Issue" is clearly an homage to (or, as some grumpy Guses would intone, a rip-off of) Seattle Metropolitan's patented blurbicle™ style of reportage. I don't mean to precipitate on your Seafair, but it's the Case of the Purloined House Style, for sure: a wide-ranging array of blurbicles™ highlighting the best that Seattle has to offer—boffo arts events, BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT's knock-your-socks-off dining opportunities for the foodies in your orbit, Dr. MARTI JONJAK's much-needed prescriptions for retail therapy to chase the humdrums away, and an array of road trips to get you out of your nabe—and your comfort zone!

So what's my problem, you ask? Call it pilferage-plus: The award-winning scribes who pen the prose you find in Seattle Metropolitan every month humbly set out as pioneers in blurbicle™ territory years ago, and The Stranger is just now deciding to clamber aboard the Met-train. I'm talking about such memorable Seattle Met content as "The 50 Best Pubs to Get Your Drink On In" (published in our June 2010 issue), "47 Outstanding Out-of-Town Jaunts" (October 2008), "38 Best Ways to Beat the Blue-Collar Blues" (our special Recessionary Raves issue, February 2009), and even a recent post on our Nosh Pit blog, "Roofies We Love to Take: 26 Tip-Top Rooftop Dining Experiences."

Honestly, I even placed calls to a few of Seattle's Most Litigious Lawyers (April 2012) to suss out what our options were. But then I thought to myself, "Get a grip, Adri!" These 100-words-or-less paeans to the wonderment and delight tucked away in funky Seattle enclaves are a Dear John letter to the pesky mundanities around us and an invitation to live our best lives—Pacific Northwest–style! Not even the hometown heroes of Seattle Met can curate all the stunning art and breathtaking experiences the Emerald City (and Kirkland, and Issaquah, etc.) has to offer. The more, the merrier, we always say! So welcome to blurbicle™-land, Stranger! Stash your umbrella in the chic but practical umbrella stand; we hope you can stay a while.

If I may put on my (Burberry, natch) editor's cap for a moment, though, I have a few constructive crits for the Stranger staff on the I-5-level traffic jam that is their front of book (or FOB, as those of us in the word-slinging biz call it): Why do you slow things down with a bunch of depressing news? GOLDY on a potential arena or PAUL CONSTANT blabbing on about some health care thingie has none of the splash—and something like 10 times the word count—of a profile of a sinful new cocktail. If I were you, I'd rip out the whole FOB and start over. And if I may encourage a splash of plagiarism, you should check out Seattle Met's FOB for a guilt-free guide to doing it right: Blurbicles™ and Listicles™ like "The Perfect Party," "Rain Check," and your humble Editor's Note. But this issue is a bold first step down a daring new path. Keep it up, and in a few months, I'll assign one of our best interns to write a featurelette™ about your dazzling new direction. I think I'll call it "There's a New Stranger in Town." Get it?