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I always thought it was because they got so turned on watching girl-on-girl action, but then a guy friend shared a different perspective. So say you're a guy and having someone nibble your ears really gets your motor running. Now say your girlfriend and other ladyfriend blindfold you and each starts nibbling an ear (but without telling you which girl is on which side) -- this threesome is already off to a good start.
beatrice
Who says there are any attractive and nice guys who like him? (Or her, but I've read tons of heteronormative threads lately in many different places where people ought to know better and I'm fed up.) As you have pointed out before, not everyone finds someone. Of course, I can see why one wouldn't actually say so in public.
And it was very clever to recommend Ms Rosin's book, which will extend the period of desired singlehood far beyond fifteen years. I'm surprised the ZPG people haven't hired her to recruit for them.
Wasn't sure if Dan's answer was real or just sarcastic, but in my experience this is a position that if done right can be great for a man/woman couple for lots of good reasons.
Hands are relatively free here and the man can easily stimulate her clitoris and/or nipple/s while she reaches back and cups his balls in her hand.
And all the while both can control the pace. I agree that the male, being the top, may have a bigger say but this particular position is also likely to increase G-spot stimulation so it may not be that bad a deal, especially if they can communicate during the deed.
All and all an added stimulation, intimacy and trust for all involved. And it's also a good angle for breeding in case you're aiming for success.
I LOVED your dream guy answer, too!!!
Hanna Rosin isn't against having children, she's simply against having male children, and she's against having men involved in raising children.
You see, men are genetically unfit to thrive in this modern world. In the not too distant future, men will have only two purposes - manufacturing sperm and fixing women's computers.
Yes, it's called "youth".
@17
Gotta love the mental health stigma! Good work.
Oh and by the way - you think "shy geek girls" don't have "daddy issues"? Are you fucking joking?
I stand by my comments. I've been with freaky nerd girls, but not many. And I've known well balanced pretty girls- but again, not many. Show them a guy in jeans and an Oxford shirt and a tattooed guy with a ponytail in biker gear, and see which one they gravitate to.
There are girls who will be impressed by the positive stuff you do. Do you really want to date a girl who is impressed when a guy acts like a jerk?
The better question would be, why does the asker mostly notice women who prefer assholes? Women who prefer assholes, like men who prefer assholes, likely have low self esteem and other emotional vulnerabilities. Why are these the women the asker considers attractive?
For some reason we spend our early 20s chasing after women who don't really want us. Then at some point, we either realize that we wasted 2 or 3 of the best years of our lives chasing the wrong women, or else one woman treats us so badly that we go "Wait a minute, I'm allowed to choose the women I date/fuck instead of just being thankful this one woman lets me fuck her."
Once we have that epiphany, we realize that a woman who likes douchebags is not worth it. Unfortunately, men are stubborn and we have to learn things the hard way.
In further favor of doggie style, which RULES: It allows the woman's entire pelvic floor to get evenly banged in the most delicious way. Not just the tip of the clitoris but the nerve bundles that run alongside the vulva are getting it all at once. One's legs aren't in the way, it's physically comfortable for both partners, etc.
Eh, that depends on stuff like your relative heights, how fast the woman's arms tire out, etc. But there are many variations on rear-entry, as was pointed out in a previous thread. I think it very often takes a little tinkering around before any given couple figures out which one accommodates them both best. Every woman's distribution of nerves and erectile tissue is a bit different; not everyone has a particularly sensitive G-spot, for instance. Mine seems to be about like an earlobe or the back of the neck or something. Yes, it's quite nice to have it stimulated, but it's not going to get me off.
Also, people's genitals are angled differently. What might work quite well for one couple might be at a completely unnatural angle for another.
For someone with a markedly tipped uterus, the sensation of doggy style is best described as having one's internal organs slammed at high speed into a cement wall. Every time I have tried doggy style, I've yelped in pain and rapidly changed positions. This has nothing to do with "hang-ups," unless one's partner is an ignorant jerk who thinks finding sharp pain aversive is a "hang-up."
For someone with a markedly tipped uterus, the sensation of doggy style is best described as having one's internal organs slammed at high speed into a cement wall. Every time I have tried doggy style, I've yelped in pain and rapidly changed positions. This has nothing to do with "hang-ups," unless one's partner is an ignorant jerk who thinks finding sharp pain aversive is a "hang-up."
For someone with a markedly tipped uterus, the sensation of doggy style is best described as having one's internal organs slammed at high speed into a cement wall. Every time I have tried doggy style, I've yelped in pain and rapidly changed positions. This has nothing to do with "hang-ups," unless one's partner is an ignorant jerk who thinks finding sharp pain aversive is a "hang-up."
For someone with a markedly tipped uterus, the sensation of doggy style is best described as having one's internal organs slammed at high speed into a cement wall. Every time I have tried doggy style, I've yelped in pain and rapidly changed positions. This has nothing to do with "hang-ups," unless one's partner is an ignorant jerk who thinks finding sharp pain aversive is a "hang-up."
For someone with a markedly tipped uterus, the sensation of doggy style is best described as having one's internal organs slammed at high speed into a cement wall. Every time I have tried doggy style, I've yelped in pain and rapidly changed positions. This has nothing to do with "hang-ups," unless one's partner is an ignorant jerk who thinks finding sharp pain aversive is a "hang-up."
For someone with a markedly tipped uterus, the sensation of doggy style is best described as having one's internal organs slammed at high speed into a cement wall. Every time I have tried doggy style, I've yelped in pain and rapidly changed positions. This has nothing to do with "hang-ups," unless one's partner is an ignorant jerk who thinks finding sharp pain aversive is a "hang-up."
If it's any comfort, though, there are plenty of douchebag losers, too.
Thanks for always making my day, Dan Savage. I have learned so many good ideas for how to be a decent human from your writings. From time to occasional time in my own relationships I totally have had a "what would Dan Savage say about this?" moment...and tried to be cool/change old, unhelpful habits accordingly.
Thanks.
"...and besides, in doggy position you can both watch NASCAR at the same time."
Fixed it for you!
Also I believe Dan didn't quite understand the question and took it to mean Can cum come out your butt? while the person most likely meant Can you have an orgasm out your butt? which should have had something about prostate stimulation in the answer directed at men and figure 8 muscle contractions aimed at women.
I'm having fun reading this as a metaphor for the subject :-)
I'm another woman who loves doggy style, so add one more vote to the "it's not just guys who like it" list.
Every once in a while I'll involuntarily sneeze when I get aroused (especially in public when I can't touch myself), but sneezing has never made me climax.
Doggy style FTW! I like when we're both on our knees and he can squeeze my hips/breasts and kiss my neck/shoulders. It's fun because it's bouncy and rough, but it does make me really NOISY and I kind of dry up after too much of it. Still, it's my second favorite posish', what a rush!
Thank you #4, that was inspirational and hot! I'm a threesome virgin, but I think I'm more drawn to the "two-woman tag team" aspect as opposed to just putting on a lesbian act.
I'm not sure I'd say that doggie style is my all-time favorite, but it's surely in the top 3. When you're in the mood for some pure primal, Animal Kingdom, let's just fuck fucking, nothing beats doggie, especially when you throw in some ass slapping and hair pulling.
Sometimes you want Al Green, but sometimes nothing but Nine Inch Nails will do...
...something I had no idea about until my midwife casually informed me during my second perfectly healthy/normal pregnancy and which has never caused any major problems, sexually or otherwise, as far as I can tell.
The most I can say is that I tend to get mentrual discomfort (when I rarely get it) in my lower back rather than my belly area and at certain times in my cycle (when my cervix is low and open and a bit tender...the rel. brief fertile times, in other words) the thrusting of a reasonably large penis attached to a reasonably aroused and eager man CAN bang up against said cervix and cause a bit of discomfort....that's when we/I have to either switch positions or take it a bit easier on the pounding.
Perhaps that's what you are referring to?
Just FTR, it's something an estimated 25% or so of women HAVE, and is hardly the "fucking tragedy" you propose, even IF the male partner in question loves the position.
I would imagine a great many women with "properly" (please note sarcasm) tilted uteruses are likewise prone to cervical discomfort from a good hard pounding in that position, esp. at certain times of the month.
Henry Miller, as I recall, seemed FASCINATED with hard cervical poundings in his fiction, and HIS (fictional) women seemed to love it, but it never did a thing for me.???
But then, I ADORE a good hard pounding from the rear-entry position when my cervix is up higher and harder/not within reach and/or tender and open!
I didn't understand there was a "proprietary" issue related to uterine position, but man, does the lady protest too much. Get over yourself.
Just like I think it's a tragedy for those that can't eat chocolate or ice cream because of an allergy, I'd feel the same way about women that can't do doggie due to anatomical limitations. Hey, if it's not your thing, no worries. But no need to get all pissy about things. Geesh.
My mother also had a tipped uterus, and had a hysterectomy, but advised against my having one because it didn't correct what she needed fixing.
Any suggestions?
You stand by using an implication of child sexual abuse as a perjorative? Do you even know where the term "daddy issues" comes from?
Oh and by the way, your suggestion that most pretty girls are fucked up is some serious inferiority complex bullshit. I've known a LOT of pretty girls and they're no more fucked up than any other group of girls.
;)
Considering how unsettlingly common a history of sexual abuse is among women labelled as having "daddy issues" (or mental health issues in general, especially highly stigmatized ones) it hardly makes a difference. And using an implication of emotional abuse, neglect, or abandonment as a perjorative is pretty disgusting also.
http://itouchcelebrities.com/2010/03/don…
I know one particularly show-offy asshole who is always mocking overtly "sexy" women (like pop singers) for having "look at me, Daddy!" issues. I always wonder if he means, by implication, that he has "look at me, Mommy!" issues? Because he's quite invested in getting off on putting other people down with his great "wit". Perhaps he's still trying to prove Mom loves him more than she loves his big brother. (I jest, of course, but the underlying point is serious.)
Seriously, though, the appeal of doggy for me has nothing to do with practical considerations. My cock and I just think women look really sexy in that position. From any angle. The arched back, the dramatic curve of the hips, ass in the air demanding to be admired, breasts dangling, pussy neatly exposed, and body language that says "I don't want you to make love to me, I want you to fuck me."
Woof!
;)
@72 Otherpeoplemeow: Thanks for the tip! I'll check it out.
First of all, if you actually looked at the history of girls you like to point out have "daddy issues" you'd find a higher than usual history of sexual abuse. Also, someone else mentioned the same thing and this is what I said:
"Considering how unsettlingly common a history of sexual abuse is among women labelled as having "daddy issues" (or mental health issues in general, especially highly stigmatized ones) it hardly makes a difference. And using an implication of emotional abuse, neglect, or abandonment as a perjorative is pretty disgusting also."
The point is that you think it's acceptable to use someones mental health issues as a way to belittle them, and I'm really not down with that.
Besides, I could just as easily say that since I've had a lot of friends who were 'shy geek/nerd girls' I can claim that they are the ones who go for socially awkward assholes because they often have low self esteem and think that they can't do any better. So pointing to your personal observations isn't really decisive, is it.
""...among women labelled as having "daddy issues" (or mental health issues in general, especially highly stigmatized ones) it hardly makes a difference. And using an implication of emotional abuse, neglect, or abandonment as a perjorative is pretty disgusting also.""
Oh, come on.
Everyone has annoying behaviour/ characteristics/ issues and is stereotyped according to this to a certain degree. This has nothing to do with mental health issues or traumatic childhoods.
Yes, some of my straight female friends have horrible taste in men. It happens. But sometimes people are a good fit for eachother in ways that are not immediately clear to outsiders, especially outsiders who are biased.
This isn't always true of people asking the question, but it can be, so I feel it's worth saying... being nice to get something isn't actually nice. People can tell the difference.
Two very good points!
There are plenty of college and professional rapists in suits, button-downs, or who are gamers etc... Assholes are not relegated to a certain "type" of man.
The sense of entitlement underlying the [hawt] chicks like assholes canard is pathetic.
Furthermore, I had to cut ties with someone whose "daddy issues" got the best of her. We are no longer friends, but I wish her well.
"Daddy issues" also affect males too. Perhaps such people find solace in one another because they have something in common?
Finally, imagine the "daddy issues" a girl is going to have growing up with a "daddy" who has such a reductive view towards women... I'm grateful my father was not one of these assholes.
***
The name May I Flog Your Scrotum with a Mace is hilarious!
I've never thought the term "daddy issues" was a gender-neutral term. There are plenty of men who will forever begrudge their fathers for abondonment/abuse. These guys have major daddy issues too. I think having a aloof tyrant for a father would make anybody search for intimacy elsewhere with more urgency than your average person.
I think we are mostly in agreement. Certainly it's nasty to use such a term as a pejorative, and I am in no way defending Tucatz's comment. It's just that I didn't see the specific implication of sexual abuse there.
"I don't have a favorite sexual position. I have, however, a favorite sexual position with everyone I've been with. ... And the funny thing is, in these people's other relationships, they had different go-to positions."
"The geometry of bodies, genitalia, and personalities always fits together differently. It's hard, and not too common, to truly be "a doggy-style guy" who carries doggy-style from partner to partner and fits it in with whatever they are. It's the relationship, and not either (or should I say any) person in it, that dictates these things. (Also, the relative length of your thighs.)"
When I hear a guy complain about how all the hot girls date assholes, I just assume a bunch of butthurt on the complainer's part.
Women have, "men only like hot girls".
But: guys who identify with the statement "hot girls only date assholes" come across as jealous and insecure. Also I wouldn't want to date a guy who was implying I had poor taste/judgment in partners; that's pretty insulting.
BOOM
Truth bomb.
"Everyone has annoying behaviour/ characteristics/ issues and is stereotyped according to this to a certain degree. This has nothing to do with mental health issues or traumatic childhoods."
I'm sorry, what do you think "daddy issues" refers to? I get that it's so acceptable to mock people on these grounds that no one even bats an eye but it's actually not cool.
When I hear "daddy issues", I think someone has a complicated relationship to their father and tries to compensate in their relationships to male authority figures/ older men/ etc.
Complicated relationship to father *does not automatically* equal the following:
- sexual abuse
- neglectful father
- absent father
- unloving parent
It can just be that the personalities of father and child didn't mesh in the right way and therefore left the child feel like something is lacking.
And how the adult child tries to compensate, depends on the character of the child, not necessarily on his or her mental health.
That's the point, you're assuming. So you're sitting there snarking about someone's father without knowing what he actually did to her.
That doesn't bother you?
Indeed, the piechart of "complicated relationship" contains "personalities didn't mesh" but it also includes all the more severe things you listed. And really, if someone's relationship to men is fucked up enough for you to notice and comment on, do you really think it's in the slice that you find acceptable? Or do you think it's more likely to fall into another catagoy.
See, I don't think that someone with "Daddy issues" is completely fucked up, or even that their relationship to an entire gender is completely fucked up. Someone can have "Daddy issues" and get along with most men just fine, and just behave in a certain way with a sub-group of older men.
And I am not snarking about their father, sometimes parents and children really don't mesh, without anyone's fault.
It would be easy to blame this difference in perception of "Daddy issues" on my lacking grasp of the English language, as a non-native speaker. But I really think that you get unnecessarily riled by this expression. Therefore I should probably clarify that I never use it myself, and certainly it does not pop into my mind when I deal with people who have been abused or molested.