Columns Jan 16, 2013 at 4:00 am



Chode? What the hell is that? Looked it up... "past tense of chide" was all I could find. As in "'Tsk Tsk,' she chode her friend, 'your scolding might be more effective if you said these things to his face.'"
@1 any time you see a word like that used the way you aren't expecting you may want to try running it through urban dictionary as well as webster's, or risk looking like my grams…
I've been using the term "Chode" or "Choade" since I heard it in about 1976. I had no idea what it meant but loved using it to describe a "jerk". I said it a few years ago in front of an Indian dude who was taken aback and asked if I knew what it meant. He translated it for me as "fucker". I found this awesome clip that delves into the history and modern usage of this awesome word:…
In your face, Phoenix.
So is the dude a cop?
And did you have sex after dinner, before you went to bed?
Why does the illustration look like Spider-Man and Batman are giving Superman a handy?
Funny thing about "Stereotypes" is that most are based in reality. You can do all the whining and complaining you want, it doesn't change the truth, it just makes you sound like a nagging bitch that nobody wants to be around.

Q: If there are more women than men in the world why isn't the world ruled by women?
@8 the answer is babies and empathy, dumbass.
Phoenix Jones is exhibit A for why it needs to be easier for the state to involuntarily commit the mentally ill.
@7: I think the better question is: Why isn't every illustration Spider-Man and Batman giving Superman a handy?
I'm disappointed, I was hoping this would be about the guy who cooled something lower than absolute zero.
@1—3: Grew up in the NW, and in my neighborhood "chode" was synonymous with "taint", but also functioned as a general epithet.
I think the better question is: Why isn't every illustration Spider-Man and Batman giving Superman a handy?
Batman is too busy geting a hand-job from Robin.

And when you "chode", do you have to change your underwear?
Also, Phoenix Jones is a nut job who sooner or later will take a bullet from some crack head.
Actually, Bruce Wayne has done exactly that. Something about a Dent fundraiser or other.

Women are, in fact, born weaker than men. The guy sounds ridiculous, but you gotta grant him that one.
The discussion about "chode" is trillions of times more interesting that this installment of I, Anonymous. The submissions must have been really dreadfully dull.
@18: Clearly you have never seen a woman give birth. There's a reason nature assigned that task to the stronger of the species.
I think boy babies and girl babies are equally wimpy.
I love that Seattle is the only town that actually knows him for the jackass he is. During Jones' AMA on Reddit a few weeks ago, I actually got into an argument with someone who refused to believe his actions were anything short of godly and noble, and obstinately refused to acknowledge all my examples to the contrary.
Bruce Wayne is probably a bit of an ass around people. Because Bruce Wayne is just another mask.
@9 Perfect.
Phoenix Jones is what happens when you tell your children they can be anything they want when they grow up.
@20 TVDinner: Thank you! Your comment to Elmer Fudd needed to be said.
He doesn't break any laws, hasn't been convicted of any assault charges, and his intention to keep the city safe are well meaning.

His mask isn't there to hide his identity, therefore he's not hiding behind it. It's constructed of stab resistant rubber (as is most of his suit), that makes it safety gear.

He's a civilian, and he works within the bounds of what civilians are allowed to do (what all of us are allowed to do) but that also means he's mostly on his own out there.
Not coming prepared for the worst when you look for trouble and can't depend on backup is a fool's game that can get a person killed.
And despite his bad grammar, he doesn't seem like a fool when it comes to self defense.

"Oh boo-hoo, he's rude" like it matters. His service is intervening trouble so that bystanders aren't dragged into a mess they're not equipped to safely handle. He's not being paid to be nice and make you happy. He's not being paid at all.
He doesn't owe you anything.

"He pepper sprays people" as if he should do something more heroic and less painful. No, he's just a citizen like any of us, and that's a non-lethal defense tool we're allowed to carry, and he uses it legally.

He dresses like a superhero, but really he's just an overzealous neighborhood watch.
Maybe he's just in it for glory, I dunno, and frankly I don't think it matters. He's a grown man. If he wants to live his life this way, he has the constitutional right to pursue happiness.

"A grown man running around in a costume should expect to be heckled, it's part of the position he puts himself in" No, that just makes you look disrespectful to others and intolerant of lifestyle choices.

Menace? No more than any other jerk of an ego driven tattle-tale in Seattle.
P.S my comment was in regards to Phoenix Jones.
@1: For a scribe, you're a terrible wordsmith.
Sir Deadlock, you of course are free to have your fantasy, but I don't think Phoenix Jones is gay.
@23 "Bruce Wayne is probably a bit of an ass around people. Because Bruce Wayne is just another mask."


Although one might argue that "Bruce Wayne" is more of a mask than the gear he wears when he is being more authentically himself, as Batman.
I always thought "chode" was the term used for a penis that is wider than it is long...
I always keep an extra pair of tighty-whities (sorry, I like some support for my ample appendages – swinging free can be dangerous) in my desk at work for those occasions that we all take lunch at Dicks or El Toro some other greasy spoon, and I accident "chode" a wet one in my cube...

But as far as Phoenix Jones, one word: “mental issues”.
Now that cold and flu season is upon us, we may also need to put on our congested sinus caps when it comes to filtering "new" words. Case in point: "At first I couldn't make up my mind but I eventually chode the green one."

Nothing at all groinal about this statement. So let's all work together to give the nasally plugged up folks out there the benefit of the doubt, okay?
@27: Running around in a costume is not a "lifestyle choice." If Phoenix Jones didn't want to be called a shameful asshole, he should stop acting like one.
Very typical in society's over-compensation of feminist empowerment. Instead of leading by example this author uses degrading terms like "chode" to get the point across. I recommend a little more forethought and logic as opposed to emotion when writing publicly. This may give the reader a bit more validation to the point as opposed to seeing a tit-for-tat-I-am-better-than-the-male-species-genetically-imposed-ego.
I haven't read through all of the comments yet but it seems like there is a narrow view of what "strength" means. Trust me when I say it has nothing to do with your muscle tissue.
So I did go to Urban Dictionary to look up chode, mixed bag, of course... but this was my fave.

"when your penis can touch all sides of a Tuna can without touching the bottom."
Well, @38, maybe the "I, Anon" has some "personal" knowledge of Phoenix Jones' equipment?

It wouldn't surprise me that Jones is compensating for something, that's often the case with these types of martial arts nutters.

And Jones in the purple cape nonsense certainly qualifies as a nutter.
@36, but she didn't write about the entire male species (not a species, btw..humans are the species), just this one particular guy. What is it about this one particular guy that you think is representative of all men? Most men I've met are not this guy.
Look, people, we are talking about Phoenix Jones. He's basically a douche in a purple suit... These "martial arts" guys are all about "ME" and the size of their nut sack.
"women are born weaker than men"

Pointing out that men have the lion's share of muscle mass is misogynist? Would it help if he mentioned that women have a monopoly on giving birth and breast feeding?

"we gotta get outta here soon because I want to have sex and she needs to go to bed soon"

As someone whose wife tends to go to bed early, I'm not sure I understand the problem with this.

"When Batman is Bruce Wayne, does he sit around with folks he's just met and boast about all the millionaires he knows?"

Umm, Bruce Wayne is a millionaire. Phoenix is an aspiring media star. From what I understand, boasting about one's connections is standard operating procedure in show business.
@reino: Trust me when I say it has nothing to do with your muscle tissue.

When requesting the reader's trust, it's best not to follow up with an obviously false statement.

I think I know what you're trying to say - muscle mass isn't the only contributor to strength, which is true with certain definitions of "strength".

However, take two fighters with equivalent marshal arts training (none for the majority of people), and muscle mass is among the most important factors in deciding who will win. Other factors include size and an aggressive mental attitude, both of which are also more readily found in men.

There are damn good reasons for why its taboo for a man to hit a women, and why feminists have pushed for (and won) strong domestic violence laws.
This almost sounds like Rex Velvet wrote this.

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