Columns Jan 16, 2013 at 4:00 am

So There's the Slightest Possibility I May Be a Psychopath


Speaking of psychopaths, I'll leave this up to the public.

Question: Was I an authentically annoyed customer, or a fiendish old grumpy psychopath telling kids to get off my lawn.

Setting: Naked Pizza, Kent Station

Time: 3:30pm after an afternoon bike ride on the Green River Trail (I was up since 5am working and solved a big problem, so I felt justified in taking a break.)

Happenstance: I walk in and order. The ordering is a bit complicated since I can choose crust, sauce and up to 3 toppings. Complicating this is the "liveliness" of the acoustics which tend to make most things hard to hear and there were two employees on a ladder talking loudly.

So here's what happened. I make my order to the the order taking girl. Next to here is the order making guy. I start by describing my order. I say I want this crust, the white sauce, these toppings.

As is typical, I did not follow the programmed protocol, and she resets me back with what kind of crust to do you want.... I play along. When she asks what sauce I say white...white sauce.

After she takes the order she reads it back...I mean, reds it back, I mean, she says I ordered red sauce. No I correct, white sauce.

No sooner than 2 seconds after I clearly say white sauce then I see the order maker putting on the red sauce. I decide to be a bastard and not correct him.

15 minutes later a pizza, with red sauce, is delivered to my table. "Here you go, Cochis!" he says. I ask this a white sauce pizza. Err....and so he takes it back.

Then the order taker girl comes up and proceeds to "calm" me in that kind of "this old guy is trying to get a free pizza" tone that really makes me boil. I say I said WHITE SAUCE 3 times! How many more times can I say it. It goes back and forth without either of us flying off the handle in what might be the typical fashion -- she crying and rushing off to bring in some big bruiser or me starting to curse and storming out.

Eventually I get my white sauce pizza and it is good. She comes back for a few more rounds of can I stump the old guy and I stand my ground and I lecture here that I'm the customer, and I clearly stated white sauce and she might want to listen better, but also they shouldn't have the staff making so much noise. I think I might have said I though the drug addicts only worked at Cold Stone. I hope I didn't say that, but I'm sure I did.

She never concedes the point of what sauce I ordered.

I eat quickly...usually I linger...and left. Full, but with a slightly upset stomach.
@1: You were not a psychopath, you were a passive-aggressive asshole who felt that he was better than the staff. I hope they spit and rubbed their asses on your precious "white sauce" pizza.
as a person with psychotic tendencies My remark would have been: "If I wanted red sauce I would have opened someones vein"

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