Columns Apr 17, 2013 at 4:00 am

Father Knows Best


Excellent advice. I hope it's not just anonymous, and that you're actually talking to your son about this.

all my dad gave me was ..............


Wow, what a familiar tune! Although it seemingly will do no good, suggest continuing to tell your young impressionable children that alcohol (and drugs) in any quantity affect the brain's ability to learn and function. My tune in turn on drop out era parents never had the balls to corner me like that. And I've been laid off 3 times in 20 years with a fairly underachieving career given my lofty credentials. You may be a lost cause but the youngins dont have to be. Seriously!
Why the fuck is this anonymous?

Go tell your son this to his face, ya maroon.
speaking of touching...

all growler's dad gave me was a big cock in the face!

Ex-alcoholics are all the same, placing the world's problems on boozing, rather than their own obviously shitty attributes as a father, and than preaching like a noxious mixture of Born Again Crispies and Mormon boys. Booze or not, I. Anon was probably not fit to procreate, and yet he did.
@6, He's not blaming alcohol, he's blaming being an alcoholic.

"It was self-pity. And it's fuel was alcohol."

This is very sad. Hope the kid manages to break the cycle. Unfortunately, the impression made during the formative years may have been the stronger one.
Touching piece.
Yet is also shows how fucked up this publication really is, running an anti-alcoholism bit when the main page is currently sponsored by Bushmills...
My 42yo cousin croaked two weeks ago from alcohol related organ failure. Teen and early 20's partying turns into thirty-something binge drinking into 40-something death. Her son has spent his whole 16 year life taking care of his mom- what kind of life is that for a kid? Will he be spending big bucks on counseling for years- sure he will.
This is incredibly touching. Now try saying it to your child's face instead of hiding behind a publication they may or may not read.
touching, but why print it in a paper that is sooooo for the legalization of pot, which is every bit as bad..
Sad... My father recently died from alcoholism. His liver was full of holes, his pancreas stopped working, and he was always getting drained of water filling his body.

My brother seems in danger of following that path. I wish my dad would have ever been clear-headed enough to write this.
#11 pontificated the following complete bullshit
touching, but why print it in a paper that is sooooo for the legalization of pot, which is every bit as bad..
Here are just a few folks that talk about in detail why you are wrong:……

There are of course dozens of others...
you go ahead and keep believing that crap and we'll see ya in loserville.. just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

but what the hell.. it's only pot and and if your over 30 and smoking it, perhaps you should evaluate your life's path..

really doubt you'll have to worry about saving that first million..or worry about excelling at any sport or activity that promotes health and well being.. but you go ahead.. and know that most of us that will retire comfortably will look down o you especially when you are pissed about being on welfare. or sick with no health care..
And yet two articles down is "Drunk of the week". How appropriate!
It's an old story and my reaction to it is always the same. How nice for you that you got sober AFTER your children were grown. Ruin their lives with your alcohol-fueled abusiveness, then find sobriety in time for you to be able to enjoy the rest of your life. You deserve the pain of watching your son be the train wreck you created. Choke on it.
@ 16

It's right up there with "Sure, I ruined a lot of lives while I was gang-bangin'; beat, robbed, killed innocent people (You know wat I'm sayin?).

But AFTER I was caught and sentenced to life without parole, I "found Jesus" and decided to begin telling at-risk youth (my brothers, nephews, cousins, and their friends) NOT to do what I had done for years prior.

Now I'm a cool "hero, y'all."

(Oh yeah, sorry about that wheelchair I put your daddy in. I "used" to be a killer.)
Anon, I hope you realize when you say it runs in families, we're not just talking about genetics. Sure, that's a part of it, but you screwed up your kids' lives. Own that, and maybe your son will listen to you.
I think a pretty obvious solution would be not to drink at work.

Then again, I'm just one of those incredibly amicable drunks.
@9, 12: Condolences. My mid-40's cousin died two years ago, leaving a wife and kids. Repeated bouts of pancreatitis and finally, anorexia-induced heart attack.

Sweetest guy in the world. We were just getting to know each other again after seeing each other maybe 2-3 times, briefly, over the last 30 years. My first up-close-and-personal experience with an alcoholic. I miss him all the time.
People can be fragile. They can break easily. They have pain too great to bear or they never give themselves the chance to experience hardship because they numb themselves. Life has pain and the sooner we learn to feel it, the sooner we become strong enough to carry on. I don't think we should cast blame. Rather, we should set an example.
I love that this guy did it here. Can't always pin down a drinker to have these conversations face to face. I, Anon is a nice alternative, esp. if he knows the young rascal reads this page...
most every parent would hope to see their kids not make the same mistakes they have, large or small. this guy took a while to get his shit together yeah, but just saying "kid, you don't want to end up like me" doesn't make him an asshole, does it?

maybe it is too little, too late, maybe he was/is an all around shitty father, but not because of what he's written here. it might not be worth much, if anything, but it isn't hurting anything that i can see.

comments have been getting really testy and aggressive again lately. what's up, sloggers?
@16 I agree. I have little sympathy for the pain he is in. He should have to look as the mess he made. But some responsibility goes toward the son. He's choosing to stay drunk, even if his father stacked the deck against him.

But Dad should be less concerned with it being hard for him to watch or wallowing in shame and more concerned with getting his son sober.

It's just a shitty situation all around. This is why i'd rather people smoke pot than drink. You never see a pot head smoke himself to death. Unless you count Cheeto consumption as self-harm.
I learned it from watching you!
If you've told him enough to make him understand in his mind, you've done all you can do. In order to change he has to understand it in his viscera, and he won't do that until he asks himself in honesty why his life is so awful and how he can fix it. As he reaches for ideas he'll hit on what you said, and with luck he'll make the idea his own. I know how hard it is to watch other people struggle through issues that you had and subsequently resolved, and how frustrating it is when they don't take your hard-earned advice.
27 people are a bunch of whiny cunts. I'd go into why, but I doubt your cunt brains could grasp it.
I've seen a guy smoking himself into psychosis with dope, but never seen someone drinking himself to death.
I've seen a guy smoking himself into psychosis with dope, but never seen someone drinking himself to death.
Depends on what they are smoking. I've noticed all the anti-weed folks are out in force these days with Refer Madness 2013. Of course they want you to find Jesus as well...
I am not against weed. I just hate the repetition of how harmless dope is. It's a drug. It's got risks and unwanted effects.
Don't worry. I certainly won't try to peddle the bible.
@8 Most people can drink responsibly. Some people can't.
@9 and @20. I lost a good friend 2 years ago to booze. And I have an ex that I don't even know if he's even ALIVE. The boozing causes an overload of the liver, which creates scarring, hard nodules (cirrhosis). The liver is very resilient, can heal itself, except when you do this sort of damage. You can live on anywhere from as little as 1/3 to 1/10 of your liver, but when you do this sort of damage, it begins to back up toxins in your system. You can't hold down food, so booze becomes your only food. Your body needs protein, and starts 'stealing' it from your muscles, etc, creating weakness. Then the gut starts to swell from the backup of toxins (not 'water'). The skin takes on a grey pallor, then yellow as you become jaundiced with liver failure. Ammonia makes its way to the brain, causing coma, leading to death. I got to watch this too intimately. My friend survived it once, and still went back to drinking. The second time, he wasn't so lucky. I've seen pot heads wallow in lack-of-incentive, but I've never known one to die from being a stoner.
I'm guessing this guy has had this conversation with his son, but it just purging by making it public.
#33, that's an accurate description, and no one who's seen it up close and personal in slow motion will ever forget it.
The people here who know nothing about alcoholism make me laugh. It's a disease and the main symptom is denial. On the average, most drunks don't realize they have a problem until way into their lives and many never get help. When they do, they are often in their 40's or 50's and believe me, they suffer for their past wrongs. I'm in my 24th year of sobriety and I can't tell you how many times I wished I'd stop drinking years before I did. As a gay man, I never had children, but I know tons of drunks who did. It's always hard but it's never too late. And I've seen a lot (and I mean a LOT) of people who didn't make it and died of alcoholism or an overdose, often before they reached thirty. Nasty disease, but you cannot help someone who doesn't want to stop.
Hi number 28. I watched my mother's best friend drink himself to death. Guess what. It happens and it's not pretty.

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