1. Which part of the Capitol Hill Block Party is your least favorite?
a. The teeming crowds of sweaty people.
b. The way bands play basically right next to each other, muddling the sound for everyone.
c. The way a month's worth of great shows are crammed into a single weekend, causing you to miss half of the bands you want to see.
d. The white people ironically wearing ugly ponchos.
2. How many clichés can you count in The Stranger's Capitol Hill Block Party Guide? (Examples: praising a band's "blistering punk rock"; exclaiming that the Flaming Lips are "elder statesmen," as if being the Henry Kissinger of rock and roll is something to aspire to; stating that one band sounds like an older band's "illegitimate child," which is only one tiny step above saying Band Z sounds as if "Band X and Band Y met in a dark alley.")
3a. BRENDAN KILEY has written a 4,000-plus-word feature about badminton. Pretend you are a freelance writer trying to pitch a feature to The Stranger: What could possibly be a more boring, upscale, Caucasian-skewing topic?
3b. Would a story of similar length about an underground croquet tournament be more or less embarrassing? Consider the use of words such as "rage," "smuggling," and "tigerlike leaping" in the badminton piece.
4. JEN GRAVES and NATHANIEL DEINES review the Future Beauty fashion show currently at Seattle Art Museum. Please demonstrate mathematically how futile it is to spotlight this show in a two-part article in The Stranger when SAM has spent approximately five billion dollars to saturate the city with ads for Future Beauty.
5. The Stranger sent its only full-time African American staff writer, CHARLES MUDEDE, to review an Ethiopian restaurant. Is this racist? If yes, how racist is it?
6. Who or what is a "Festive"? Why?