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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
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If the attention is unwelcome in any way to your target, it could turn very bad for you. So go after someone else.
The rest of the office will notice and discuss, whether your target is interested or not. So go after someone else.
(Both of these were an amusing theme at Prudie's chat Monday, with one woman completely oblivious to how her boss casually letting her know how her uninterested target's girlfriend was going to be at the next company outing indicated that she was really, really making a fool of herself.)
This person's spouse has done nothing to you and does not deserve your scorn and malice, so go after someone not married. (If this person's spouse cut you off in traffic and you have spent the last six months engineering your way into their spouse's path as a means of revenge, you need a hobby.)
Um.... assuming that being compared to a sex worker is offensive is kind of slut shaming in itself, isn't it?
Hmm perhaps but the term whore doesn't imply sex worker to me. Its not that I think the guy was trying to slut shame his partner, it just struck me as a strange choice of word on his part.
2. Perhaps a better question is am I a masochist?
3. Normal if somewhat behind-the-curve.
4. Epic, traumatic levels of grossed-the-fuck-out, personally. Doesn't seem comfortable either.
5. This seems much more problematic on the honesty front than is being acknowledged, but I guess if she's down with it...
6. You're adorable.
7. Does anyone want to recount that story amongst strangers?
8. Such a 60s question.
9. Unless you know for a fact that the marriage is toxic and irredeemable, it's a dick move.
10. Remember that it is not a free pass to act like an asshole to someone you're having sex with.
11. N/A
12. N/A
13. Pineapple juice for no bitter aftertaste. Still tastes like come, though.
14. Dirty sex in a dirty setting can be awesome too.
15. You could also ask him if he'd like to try.
16. Here's a link to address the real issue here (those concerned about Murphy's stance on gay people should note his arrest record and his outfit and keep laughing):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DsWazTC6…
Sorry--I couldn't help being a wiseass.
I'm just curious, though.
Congrats, Dan, on your recent trip to Canada!
Nova Scotia is definitely another travel destination for me.
1 Would it have been Alan Cumming if he'd spelled it differently?
2 To which asylum?
3 Pro tip to questioner - when questioning a partner's celebrity obsession, USE A LAST NAME.
4 Pass
5 A point to Mr Rhone for noting the timing. A point and a half to Mr Avast for smacking the questioner. She should clearly divorce her husband and marry Mr Ophian. But this question is an excellent illustration of the sort of predatory opposite-sexer female attitude exhibited by those women who think that male same-sexerism exists only for their own jollies. Thus far, the R&O Fan Club members have, to their credit, not demonstrated such an attitude, highly reminiscent of the stereotypical straight male interest in female same-sexers.
6 Isn't kissing considered a higher tier of kink among those circles?
7 But Mr Savage ratted on Mr Miller in #3? Still, good for Mr S.
8 No weirder than the questioner's buying into the brainwashing.
9 Inappropriate depends on who's setting the standards, but I'm sure it's in character.
10 Well played, Mr S.
11 Join MENSA?
12 At least Mr Savage's competition justifies his optimism.
13 The greatest purpose of that spelling is that it serves to warns those who might otherwise be attracted to its users.
14 This is the one chance the questioner has to have Mr Savage save her from her disastrous life, and she chooses to ask if it's normal instead of how to get out? (gendering as female deliberate just to counter the male gendering)
15 If the Match Game teaches us anything other than Charles Nelson Reilly's distaste for socks, it is not to attempt to match a general and a specific.
16 Well played again, Mr S.
Plus, he could be describing my wife and those are the very reasons I married her. I agree with 13, I think he was bragging.
google scholar:
7,190 entires with "pre-cum" vs. 2,310 for "pre-come" = 3.1:1 for pre-cum
since 2012 it's 903 for "pre-cum" to 220 = 4.1:1
= trend is pre-cum wiping pre-come off the face of the ass
Oxford English Dictionary approves of pre-cum as acceptable incl it's first 1984 use in print, which is slightly NSFW:
pre-come n. (also pre-cum) = pre-ejaculate n.; cf. come n.1 5.
1984 R. N. Boyd Sex behind Bars 174 His cock, wet from pre-cum, slid easily into the ass that Steve had already loosened up.
2004 Gay Times Feb. 45 (advt.) HIV is in the blood, cum and pre-cum of an HIV positive man.
source: OED Third Edition, March 2007, retrieved this morning (full subscription OED online)
I've heard this from some gay writers exasperated with slash fic. A good point. More broadly, with avast's point: It's about your partner, not about you. I recall a comment from a guy who'd figured out his wife was bi and dropped in a casual "If you wanted to try it with a girl sometime, I'd be mellow with that." Then backed off, rather than go into a frenzy of trying to convince her to bed a woman pronto and tell him all the details, or they could find a third on Craig's List RIGHT NOW, come on, I know you think girls are hot!
http://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?con…
the last few times pre-come was more widely used were 1830s and 1912. hmmm... maybe this means dan's preference for pre-come means he is a true uber radical seeking to overturn the existing cum-spelling-hegemony, and i am the defender of the entrenched status quo. uh oh. at least i have my lowercase and lack of final punctuation
As an anal fan, I have to say, Rosebudding is just...dumb (nothing sexy about it) and seems like a bad idea for the long term...unlike gaping.
To me, there's something kind of juvenile about spelling it "cum," rather than "come," but I admit that if the usage is limited to it in its noun form (semen) it does cut down some occasional temporary confusion. It's not something I'm going to spend a lot of time worrying about.
Question: is there something male-centric about cum? Does it refer to any and all ejaculatory fluids produced by both males and females when it's a noun? When used as a verb, does it refer to orgasm or ejaculation--not the same thing. (I've known men who orgasmed without necessarily ejaculating, and of course: women.)
That is because his body went into ketosis. This also happens to anorexics and during starvation. The body produces ketone bodies in the liver to provide energy for the brain. These ketone bodies have a fruity / citrussy smell.
Peace
Peace
@29 - I should've read all the comments first - yours was better and better sourced.
WRT the threesome jollies: I don't disagree with the annoying factor some respondents have cited, but I somehow think the odds he's not so offended by discovering his wife would like to watch are all that great, his being a man and all. Ok, nomex suit on.
I think he's straight, even though I'd bet you $10,000 of Mitt Romney's money that the last one wasn't. Does that have a bearing on celebrity crushes?
@ 39: Question: is there something male-centric about cum?
My understanding is "no," though in the noun form it has a sort of de facto male-centric meaning, just because juveniles on the internet are more likely to be talking about a man's ejaculate than a woman's. No idea about the rest.
@ 42. Cum passed the auto-spell test...
God dammit.
lol. That's what would happen to me if I said the same, but it would be about the "neat freak" part. There are many ways our place could be neater, and I imagine this would make her explain them to me in detail. And then make me agree.
Ketosis is not necessarily a healthy state (you did read the "starvation" and "anorexics" point?).
Come on, folks, it's not that tough.
Now, it is true that I am a great advocate of divorce, with the only flaw being that it enriches divorce lawyers - a serious flaw indeed. However, to paraphrase Miss Crawford, I should have almost everybody divorce, as soon as they could do so to advantage. My main exception would be the S&Ms, as their divorcing would be too great a victory for Ms Gallagher and might give real momentum to the emissaries of evil.
******************************************************
Thank you, Ms Eirene. Bisexual people can be just as monogamous as anybody else. The questioner was basically asking how to get her partner into her kink against his inclination, and sugar-coated her selfishness with his potentially being capable of some attraction to her hypothetical third. It is almost like Mr Rhone being no more inclined to a threesome if Mr Alan were to be the third than if the proposed third were Ms Sissou or Ms Thinking.
2. To the google scholar comment - really? You know that "pre-come" isn't the medical term, right?
""Cum" is not a word."
Says Oxford:
Any word is a word if it gets used often enough. And if it gets enough press, we'll *make* it a word!
Just like santorum, right Dan?
It's definitely true for women (Cabernet franc, anyone?) so it's probably true for guys. Semen is mostly sodium bicarbonate anyway.
keto-acidosis on the other hand, is bad news.
Meh, she doesn't swallow anyway because I wind up coming in other cavities and I'm just fine with that...maybe I'll try the parsley thing.
Here's a great article on the topic, if you're into that kinda thing:
http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/DF…
Or you can read the unabridged version of that same essay in the collection "Consider the Lobster."
That being said: Am I still cool to imagine my guy with another guy when I'm getting myself off? Or does that still make me a POS using my husband for my own jollies?
I don't think you're a POS for whatever goes on in your imagination. I also think it is normal to worry that one isn't 'enough' for one's spouse (regardless of their sexuality). I think as long as you aren't manipulating your spouse, you're in the clear. And it doesn't sound like you are.
I think part of the lecturing is aimed at Dan for going straight to three-ways, which you didn't actually mention. 53 put is well and simply: bisexual ≠ nonmonogamous, just like someone who's attracted to more than one physical type (blonds AND brunettes) may not want to score some blond on the side, or in threeways, after marrying a brunette.
It might be the exclamation points in your initial question: You phrase his monogamy like it's a stumbling block to your sexy fun times. Drawing on past SL letters I'd advocate calming way down and calmly tossing out "Well, if you ever wanted to try X I'd be cool with it." Then back down: it's not like he's going to forget you mentioned it. Make sure X is a small step (to you, emotionally) and that you really mean it.
So.. If you have to sit them down to explain how they must be wrong...
You couldn't be a control freak...?
Peace
You need to be prepared for him to want to continue to be extremely monogamous, at which point fall back to Plan B (fantasizing about him, rather than acting on it).
@68: For clarity's sake, your husband just told you he's bisexual? Even if it's hot to you, isn't that the kind of major disclosure that's supposed to happen before you get hitched? Seems to be working out, I'm just wondering how that went down.
@71, you found me out.
1. Shout out to the vegetarians! Best tasting come.
2. Smokers: yeah it's not just your mouth that can end up tasting like an ashtray...
3. Unless you have some sort of fetish about keeping it around in your mouth, you shouldn't really be tasting it that much, should you? I mean, it goes in your throat, and then it goes to it's home in your tummy. Mm-mm.
Still, I stick by what I said before: your husband might just be totally cool with threesomes and was just emphasizing monogamy because he wanted you not to worry. I forget which comment (and am too lazy to look it up), but as someone suggested, casually dropping it and then dropping it accomplishes what you want/need in a guilt-free way.
Further, for everyone who jumped Dan's case for this: his first suggestion was role-playing, not threesomes, which is another completely not POS thing for @68 to do.
I would say, on the whole, no; personally I've had celebrity crushes on women I have no reason to believe aren't straight.
As for Mr. Bergoglio; I can't agree with Dan's taste, but hey, that's what human diversity is all about.
To Wife - Fortunately, it's a fairly easy fix. It's not a bad thing that you reacted to your husband's news with enthusiasm, but occasionally a Big Revelation meets with a more positive reception than that which the outcomer can handle. Your husband is still probably getting used to himself. Let him know where you'd be happy to go with him and then let him drive his own sexuality, as others have suggested.
The parallel that comes to mind is when a fairly inconspicuous and mostly closeted person comes out to someone, typically a parent, who immediately starts living, eating and breathing All Things PFLaG. There's lots of good in that, but it can make the outcomer feel pushed into wearing much more of a 24/7 label than (s)he finds comfortable, or being somebody else's idea of a _____.
To paraphrase Tim Minchin, spelling it "cum" is like thinking The Doors is poetry - cringingly teenaged.
I do think that, given her clarifications and willingness to present and take lumps, there is an above average chance that they can work things out well, although I cannot in good conscience call any woman wonderful who presents as a "lady". Women who proactively call themselves ladies might not be at the top of the LMB list, but they get dinged. (An example of reactively comes from Clue when Yvette declines to look at the photographs Miss Scarlet offers to show her; that I do not ding.) I'll grant that I have a high lack of tolerance for this for personal reasons and will not quarrel severely with those who don't find the style annoying, although there does seem a residual hint at wanting a favourable double standard, given that one can go from one month's end to the next without stumbling across a gentleman.
IT'S A BIT OFFENSIVE, SORRY TO SAY.
To be fair, I've got a bit of a crush on Bergoglio too, and I guess my own straightness hasn't interfered with it.
I guess I'm defending the double-standard; I'm ok with that...men and women are different in the aggregate, whatever individual cases might be exceptions.
re: lady v. woman - whatever! It's just an expression! My wife is slightly my junior and loves to tease me about "old fashioned" expressions like "gal(s)" - I sometimes call myself a gentleman too - and it's nothing more than arcana. LMB seems...an over the top response. It's been far too long since I've watched Clue, so sadly, the reference is lost to me.
@99: Alanmt FTW squared.
"Attracted to men" doesn't equal "unsatisfied with straight sex with my partner."
So she could propose a threesome where she only touches her husband's equipment, but where she gets to enjoy watching him play with the other guy.
Since when did being GGG have anything to do with being non monogamous? Unless that is what the partners all want?
From the married and been flirted with peanut gallery: Please, please don't. Unless the married person is blatantly hitting on you, please don't. Don't confuse kindness, warmth and courtesy for a need to have sex/an affair.
Peace
Once you know likely candidates (people you can trust, who don't have hang-ups about sex work, and who have enough disposable income), explain that you like them a lot, and would love to treat them the way they need to be treated, and isn't it terrible how having to work a real job to pay your bills makes scheduling so hard. Sigh...
Don't take photos, don't allow them to take photos. That way you won't have an online persona to bite you in the butt once you want to move on from this life.
Yeah--or one where she only watches. It's a convenient way to ease into it in any circumstance, and seems particularly applicable when the proposing partner's interest is primarily in watching (which it sounds like might be the case).
No, she can't. That would violate his monogamy, which is what she's complaining about.
Proposing it wouldn't.
Anyway, masseur it is.
As long as we're still on the subject of come, here's a dumb question: As a recovered ex-sugar junkie (my Type II diagnosis is reversed!! YAAAAY!!), would (my) come be sweeter after the safer consumption of sugar-free semi-sweet or dark chocolate (90% is best--also an antioxidant)? I'm on a high protein / veggie / low carb / no gluten or sugar diet.
I'm just wondering, and still having J.D. fantasies.