Columns Dec 11, 2013 at 4:00 am

Post-Mushroom Remorse


You went down the rabbit hole and attached yourself to another meaningless emotion that popped up while you were high. Let go and let be.
you were in the womans room.
I'm thinking you're all good. Wherever you were, whatever segment of the trip you were on, you appeared non-threatening and a little non-plussed to see here there, so she spoke to reassure you. Maybe the ladies room was occupied or maybe she has a bunch of brothers so she doesn't think anything of using the mens room in a pinch. Be reassured and let it go.
Unless this is one of those bathrooms which is clearly only intended for one person at a time, I am not seeing what you really did wrong here.

Classic tripping overreaction and overthought.
Duuuude it's all good in the bathroom when you're tripping ballz.

Until you look in the mirror.

Not recommended!
Wow, the weird things that I saw while tripping and entering public bathrooms never talked to me.
You used a public bathroom sink to put water in your coffee?

If I walked into a men's room and some "feminista" chick was in there doing her "Fuck The Establishment" thing, I'd just whip it out and piss in the sink next to her.
By the way, the only think I ever saw back in the days when I "tripped" was GIANT IRIDESCENT MULTIFACETED INSECTS.
Anon, perhaps you should visit the women's restroom and see if anyone there apologizes to you for making you feel uncomfortable or disgusted.
I walked into the men's room accidently exactly once in my life. And a man was standing at the urinal with his pants open. I WISH he had been at the sink washing his hands. He looked both angry and hurt.

I also think this dude was in the woman's room. But, if there really was a woman in the men's room, you have nothing to feel bad about.
Wow, apologizing for being a man! That pretty much sums it up in this society anymore! Does your mommy still pick your mushrooms for you too?

Dammit. The Stranger could really handle HTML tags better.
Sometimes you really have to go and the assigned gender-appropriate bathroom is occupied. This took place at a coffee shop after all, where sudden and immediate bathroom urges are often triggered by warm beverages.

@8 don't cut yourself on all that edginess.
why would you apologizing for going into the mens room and seeing a woman there? seriously...
Tip: At Starbucks you can ask for a "kids' temperature" drink and they'll make it for you at a nice warm-but-drinkable temperature, no tap water needed.
you were shroomin in a starbucks? I can't even go out, or couldn't when i did anyway. maybe just maybe this person was uber sentient, saw your spin and said very the very fine words "you're all good". How about you believe it and rest assured. Bless her. oh, and the barrista would have been happy to cool your drink.
Why does anyone pay attention to, or respond to, Arthur Zifferelli? It clearly isn't worth the time or energy, and he apparently has nothing useful to add to the discussion.
To bill 2636: I will not sleep with you, so please stop trying to get my attention.
now whenever you encounter someone who looks lost and confused you will briefly entertain the possibility that they are on mushrooms and you'll say "it's all good."
When I was in university, I would go in the men's if the women's line was too long. I always assumed it was my responsibility to make the men feel comfortable, not vice versa.
What exactly are you apologizing for? That's some over-sensitive bullshit. Man up.
When 'shrooming it is best to stay home. At the very least, stay out of Starbucks.
@25: No, go out into the woods where you're unlikely to run into anyone
Uhh drugs are bad, mmmkay?
In France, they have unisex bathrooms.

Not one-holers. Unisex.

The urinals are at the far end of the room, with Western saloon style swinging doors to give some measure of privacy.

The stalls had doors from floor to ceiling -- with no cracks to peek through.

When I entered, I was by myself, so I took a tour. (As a woman, I would never have approached those swinging saloon doors otherwise!) I was entering a stall when two Arabic/Muslim looking men entered. We locked eyes and were immediately mortified. I scrambled into my stall and hunkered down.

One of the guys went into a stall and I heard him repeatedly flushing to cover up his sounds (clearly constipated, despite his efforts to disguise things.) That was when I knew for sure that they were as uncomfortable as I was. I still waited for them both to leave before I left the privacy of my locked stall.

A silly reaction on my part, of course. But I had no practice in facing the weirdness of the Puritan American culture -- I didn't even know I had such bathroom shame until that moment!

Representatives from two fundamentalist religious cultures meeting like that -- one of my favorite personal travel experiences of all time...
Uhhhh, Rainbow Gathering.... plenty shrooms and a slit trench unisex shitter... don't fall in..;-D
I don't think any of this happened, except the mushrooms. It wasn't a Starbucks. It was a 7-11. It wasn't a restroom. It was the chip aisle. It wasn't hot coffee. It was a Slim Jim. It wasn't a woman. It was an 82 year old Filipino cowboy. He wasn't shocked. He realized immediately you were tripping. He didn't say, "It's all good." What he said was, "Your sausage looks good." He actually meant the sausage. Gitcher shit together, man.
I really miss mushrooms.
I never do drugs and go to stores if I can help it. Especially the grocery store which is just too bright. Plus I never want to deal with $ when high.

I much prefer being in nature or being at a music festival. Preferably with naked people.

But I guess that's just me.

I'm not sure what you are apologizing for. You were in the men's bathroom and a woman was already in there. Cool. Who cares?
Nyquil is better than mushrooms.
Montex blathered:
Uhh drugs are bad, mmmkay?
So is baby-talk, moron.
@34 It's a quote from South Park.
Dude, don't drink the water from those sinks! People piss in those sinks. I know, unbelievable, but I was one of them. I'm in Sink Pissers Anonymous (SPA) now though so I can talk about it. Anyways, pissing in sinks is awesome, so what were we talking about? Oh ya, don't put that water in your coffee. Okay I'm going to a meeting now, or to a starbucks...
I went to school in building which had confusing restrooms. The men's did not have urinals and was exactly identical to the ladies' room. A restroom was at the bottom of the stairs on each level but they alternated between ladies and mens on each floor which meant there was frequent confusion with men wandering into the ladies' and women wandering into the men's because they'd forgotten which floor they were on. Newbs were startled when member's of the opposite sex wandered in and out but quickly got over it.
A dirtbag stinking hippie walked into the ladies room at the McDonalds right after my granddaughter went in there. Ask him how it went after that, if his jaw has been unwired yet.
Hey, whatever. I once got into a vicious war of words with an evil, snarling, bloody-fanged lamb crawling across the bathroom floor when I was high on mushrooms. It later turned out to be a piece of kleenex. Like the lady said, you're all good.

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.

Add a comment

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.