Comments
Please wait...
Comments are closed.
Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.
More In Columns
Editors' Picks
Popular Articles
is a proud member of the
network
network
All contents © Noisy Creek, Inc.
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
On the other hand, if you just can't handle it, you don't need anyone's permission to break up with the dude.
Obviously not a concern for some of this week's LWs!
Back again later.
An easy fantasy to indulge and it really turned her on. Why give someone a hard time about a simple kink.
PISSED needs to confess her kink. Any rational man would be thrilled to know that his piss has the same intended effect as a gym membership or flowers.....
My wife, for instance, has a thing about feet. No, not that thing-- she hates them. Feet scare her. If I try to play footsie under the table, she squeeks and yanks her feet away. Fortunately, I am not a foot fetishist. I think her anti-fetish is kind of cute and funny. But for her, harmless old foot-fetishism would definitely be a Fetish Too Far.
Tastes differ. If the scat fetish is something you can't live with, you're not sexually compatible with this guy, and that's OK. Give him the "just be friends" speech already.
Unless he's getting off on being caught. That's a possibility, right?
The only way to find out is to approach this initially as an issue of cleanliness. Dad should talk to son about cleaning up after himself because it's the right thing to do. If the kid doesn't listen to Dad after the first talk, then whoever discovers the spooge should call kid in to the bathroom, hand him a sponge doused with the bathroom cleaner of one's choice and have him clean it up. No reference should be made as to what's being cleaned up, just a reminder that if one leaves behind stains on bathroom fixtures, then one is responsible for cleaning up those stains.
If it continues to happen after this, then LW should get back in touch with Dan because then it will be clear this is a sexual arousal issue, not one of a typically sloppy teenaged boy.
Also, the fact that he uses public restrooms has nothing to do with him WANTING to do it in front of other people. Dude just has to pee, and when the urge is strong enough he's willing to do it in a public restroom even though he'd probably rather be by himself. The other men are presumably also there to do their business and aren't overtly telling him they want to watch him piss while staring at his cock (if that's their thing, they have likely learned to be subtle). I imagine he does his thing as discreetly as he can then leaves, and that he's not just hanging out in public restrooms inviting the other guys to watch him pee so he can hurt his poor girlfriend's feelings by denying her and giving it away to all those random men like some shameless piss slut.
If he refuses, he's secretly gay or hopelessly damaged, and should be returned to the lot.
It is common in related languages, though, like African American Vernacular English - which, in spite of the last part of its name, is actually a creole and not a dialect of English (its tolerance for double negatives and the lack of the singular third person marker -s, among other features, come from its African roots).
"I refuse to acknowledge "spooch" as a synonym for semen or the male climax."
What's the matter, Dan, is spooch a bit hard to swallow?
Also, for all the word/grammar geeks out there, NPR aired a documentary a month or two back revolving around ax vs. ask. I think they might have dipped into ain't a little bit. It was really interesting.
ruled.
Standard advice for piss-fetishists dating shy pissers: baby steps. Discuss your fetish when both people are calm & clothed. Ask if it's okay if you try to condition him to be able to handle it. If so, have him close the door but with the awareness that you're outside. Next time say a few words to him with the door closed. Later, see if he will leave the door open a crack, then an inch, etc. Back up a step if he gets anxious about it.
Oh, and don't forget to inquire, during the calm & clothed conversation, whether he has some sexual activities he'd like to try, or preferences he'd like to engage in more often.
@ Mr. Ven - I owed you a a response and I finally had the time to sit down and write it. My apologies for my glacial speed.
To the Pee Girl The reason most guys don't want you to watch is we piss on everything and don't want you to know it.
As for the double negative, the rule against it comes from the 18th century, when codifiers were trying to make language more like math. Chaucer, Shakespeare, all those fellows, used double negatives. Of course, their spelling was also all over the place, so that's a win for codification.
Anyway, since language existed before language rules did: if the listener derives the meaning the speaker intended to impart, you can't exactly say the speaker did it wrong, can you?
But does that standard apply to Mr. Step-Parent Am Not Not Kleaning Spooch? I think not.
LW - trade your demure little princess of a boyfriend in for a man with a fire hose.
I'm sorry I don't have a lot to comment about in this week's Savage Love column, except for SPANKS. A tremendous lot in my life is going on at the moment, and I'n STILL waiting on a pesky form in the mail before I can finally file my !@#$ing 2013 taxes! So Griz is feeling a little March stress.
Ooooooooookay. Holy fucking shit!....I want this to turn out okay SO badly!! Just grant me NORMAL periods after 37 fucking years of tormented monthly hell!! *sigh* Just two more weeks until outpatient surgery....deep breath....pretty little newly acquired Thelma Dickinson tummy already in....let it turn out okay....please.
it's already a comfort that my parents and a dear old friend will be there for moral support.
Ok, my tummy hurts, but it's a good hurt.
:)
contraction of are not"
From Merriam Webster. So, no.
Dear Dan Savage,
My boyfriend always closes and locks the door behind him when he pees. It really bothers me and turns me off because it hurts my feelings. If he wasn't so prudish and such a prissy little puss, it would be a simple way of turning me on and arousing me for sex, to be a part of his pissing experience. He claims it's because he is pee shy. So I tested that theory; one day, I broke into my bathroom with a little screwdriver and found him peeing with his dick in his hands, standing there, grinning at me. So if he knows that I like it, and if the issue is about being pee shy, and not about a NO GIRLS ALLOWED MOMENT, then why can't he pee in front of me, especially if we have been lovers for five years now!????? I would be grateful for your advice on how to get him to relax with his peeing moments a little more because I'm BORED. Thanks!
I will be meeting with my gynecologist's nurse next week for pre-op advising, and I'm safely betting that she will reaffirm your helpful words of wisdom passed on.
I'm just grateful not to need a hysterectomy, and that my insides are as otherwise healthy as a Kentucky Derby winning racehorse.
:)
Ms Kitty - I shall resume the old thread if I can recall enough of my next post, which referred both to Rita Moreno on the Electric Company and Peter Vernon from *Rumpole and the Gentle Art of Blackmail*. Alas, too much of the post has wandered away. But thank you for letting me know.
We have a bathroom code: *Knock knock* "Serious business?"
If the S.O. says no then it's something no more than a piss, one may enter. If either of us say "yes" the other walks away. The door is never locked, nor is it opened if the business is serious. By which I mean poo.
Dan has made it clear that farting "openly" is what a relationship is all about, though. Farts are comedy for some reason.
Happy reading!
It's pronounced as it is due to the difficulty of saying "amn't"; it's spelled as it is because the pronunciation drift had already happened by the time spelling was codified.
So, yes. :P
I ain't talking about grammar as such, not in the sense of "proper writing according to arbitrary prescriptive rules which often have nothing to do with what's really going on in the language". I trained in linguistics (many years ago, I'll admit). "Ain't", its origins, uses etc. was the subject of a two-hour class at one point. A fascinating subject. I like to talk about it. And no one forces you to read my posts.
Doesn't anyone else feel for the guy who just wants a little freaking privacy while he takes a piss? And this hurts his girlfriend's feelings? She's a complete nutjob.
That was my reaction, too. That doesn't happen to be my boundary -- my husband and I sometimes walk in on each other peeing, and it's not a big deal -- but it seems like a perfectly reasonable boundary to have, and partners should respect that sort of thing.
Pooping is a solo function. But peeing? Taking a leak doesn't usually involve the same kinds of sounds/smells/funny faces as taking a shit. Most men's rooms require most men to stand next to total strangers who are pissing.
I am only very occasionally more intimate with strange men than I am with a significant other.
anx·ious
[angk-shuhs, ang-] Show IPA
adjective
1.
full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; solicitous: Her parents were anxious about her poor health.
2.
earnestly desirous; eager (usually followed by an infinitive or for ): anxious to please; anxious for our happiness.
3.
attended with or showing solicitude or uneasiness: anxious forebodings.
Also, grammar is - as far as I know - not the same as word selection/meaning. If anyone wants to jump in and correct me feel free.
Better advice for PISSED: People are taught (correctly!) to keep their bathroom business private. Your bf is being polite by keeping the door locked. If this is something that really turns you on and that you want to incorporate into your sex life, approach him calmly, at a non-sexy time, and say, "Hey, I know it's a little weird and uncomfortable, but I'm really turned on by the thought of watching you pee. It doesn't have to be every time, but I'd love it if you'd indulge me once in a while...I promise you'll get the best sex ever if you do!" And do it without telling him you're BORED (in all caps), and without lots of overwhelming punctuation in your voice (?!?). You're likely to get much better results.
SPANKS: Jesus, Step-Parent, be a parent. Tell the kid to clean up after himself in the bathroom. If, after he's been told, you find it again, then obviously you need to be more specific. At that point, you go get him and point the mess out to him. He's 13. He's probably felt mortified at least once just this week. He'll be mortified many more times before he gets through puberty. Being deliberately mortified by you this once isn't going to kill him.
Now if one of us needs something that moment in the bath, there is no issue although I cannot imagine anything needed from the bathroom could not wait a couple minutes.