Columns Jun 4, 2014 at 4:00 am

What More Could You Want? By Kshama Sawant


Wow, I was hoping this would at least be funny.
@1 Indeed. Tis was a terrible, terrible attempt at comedy.
Ms. Sawant, you're an idiot and I cannot wait to help you lose in the 2015 election. Thank goodness we passed the new council district laws so that your term will only be 2 short years. I'm 100% in favor of the $15 wage campaign, but your rhetoric in the above piece is beyond the pail of acceptable language for someone who represents me. You are a disgusting representative to this great city.
If you can't tell that this was satire, then I'm not sure we should be letting you vote.
I heard her make similar statements at a rally at Westlake during the election, so it wasn't obvious that it was a parody. While her and I agree on many things policy related, she is very clearly just a publicity hound who likes to use provocative rhetoric. And this is not obviously satire in any way.
Hah. Great. Hilarious.
I just personally spoke with someone that works for the Stranger and they reassured me that it is "POLITICAL SATIRE AND SHE IN FACT NEVER WROTE THE ARTICLE."
@jeffpuppy. Even satires on Sawant aren't funny, that's how bad its become.
Not a parody...
I want her to chime in here.

I'm pretty sure some of this was misquoted or, worse, intentionally taken out of context, just to make her look bad.

For example, she wouldn't dare use the word 'hipster'. She probably said 'hip' and 'stir', individually, on different days. Shane on you The Stranger.
@3,5: I think YOU might be a parody, and not actually on capitol hill.

Sawant has made more change in this city in 6 months than any other council member I can recall in 25 years here.
Are people really stupid enough to think that this isn't parody?
Like really? That stupid?
Like, if someone's reading this in print and they bring it up to you thinking that this is real, take the newspaper, roll it up, and smack them on the nose.
@14 - The wisest most appropriate comment I've read in years. Thank you sir.
Parody done well can be brilliant.

On the other hand, when done badly, as here, it's just sad for all involved. Frankly, you should just drop this feature, it's obvious you have no aptitude for the medium.

Oh please, anyone with half a brain should realize it's parody.
Your Parody Column is in Error, by Warren Terra
This is pretty bad Stranger. It's obviously parody, and anyone who thinks otherwise is pretty fucking stupid, but it's really bad parody and it does nothing to further anyone's message. Please stop. Just... stop. Please.
Great stuff. Worthy of Private Eye, even.
Wow, I just clicked through the other "New Column" articles and they are pretty much the worst. This seems exceptionally mean-spirited, since the others are more generally targeted. Regardless, none of these "New Column" pieces are funny.
Perhaps some of you would prefer the comedic styling of man getting hit in the groin by a football?
This certainly my standard for good humour.…
Trouble is, we've reached a point in local politics where truth and parody are difficult to distinguish. At least when it comes to CM Sawant….
So funny Stranger! I lol'd.

Let's give mass murder another chance! Haha, I joke too!
I think this would be actually funny if it didn't have Sawant's name and face on it. Was the purpose here to see if any dumbass media outlet would quote her on that? I mean, yeah, that'd be good for another laugh but you guys should know that righties are humorless and don't require something to be true to believe it.
I predict by tomorrow morning this we be all over Facebook, shared by people who believe it's real.

And we, as a city, may find an answer to that age-old question:
Can one actually die from excessive amounts of mournful, exasperated sighs?
I thought it was humorous but not very funny.

Any yes, this will become an intelligence test of sorts.
@17: You're really missing the point here. Everyone (except @3) knows it's parody. They just pretty much unanimously think it's unintelligent, unsophisticated and unfunny.
In fact Sawant does "demand" nationalizing Starbucks, Costco, Nordstrom, etc etc.

nationalizing = expropriating, taking over
I thought it was funny. People should lighten up a bit. Jeesh.
Sign me up for a michael fassbender sex doll!
Uh, since when does she eat steak? Pretty sure that's forbidden in her religion lol...
You haven't exactly "won" a $15-dollar minimum wage if said minimum wage doesn't kick in until after 10,000 more people have been evicted.

The ordinance is viscerated by exlusions, caveats (bonuses, commissions, "actuarial value) and time-delayed implementation –2017– as to make it nearly obsolete by the time it becomes "real."…
It may be a little blunt, but my words would be:
No-one wishing to attain the status of a Civilised Human Being,treats other people as cheap, easily disposable, instantly forgettable cash cows.
Only a pig-ignorant, arrogant, smug, self satisfied, selfish, bigoted barbarian does that.
Did I accidentally click on The Onion rather than The Stranger? With extremist nonsense like that coming out of her mouth she's sounding like little more than a leftist version of a tea partier. Now, if she's simply auditioning for an SNL role with this, then I offer my heartiest bravo.
Haha, this is so perfect. Thanks for the laugh. Still love Sawant!
Satire may be appropriate when speaking about many of the political figures and other personalities in the public eye. But this is beyond the pale even for the Stranger. This woman and all the supporters who are struggling to make a better world for all the people, do not need this type of visceral article coming on the heels of the most significant and long overdue victory for the working people, who are the heart and soul of our country. Post all this crap you want in some rag magazine but if you want to continue to be recognized as a paper where the truth is spoken, stick to real news and take real stands, not with personalities of grass roots movements, but with people who are the movement... or be left in the dust like the Seattle Times.
Mike Lapointe
Independent Congressional Candidate
District 2.

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