Columns Nov 12, 2014 at 4:00 am

Stop Mocking Shy Bladders!


With respect to The Flash:…

The Pixies were misinformed?
I have a shy bladder, it's a huge pain in the ass. One of the reasons I almost never go out to the bars anymore. Nothing more awkward than waiting in the bathroom line only to get your turn and the stall is filled so you can try to awkwardly hover around and let people go ahead and use the urinals while you wait for it to open or take a fake pee, leave, wait a few minutes, and get back in line to try your luck again.
Oh, man. This is some seriously demented stuff. UNFUCKWITHABLY inspired.

And let me say the same about Rob Lowe's DirecTV spots. Maybe this says something about where I come from, but every one of Lowe's creepy cable subscriber alter egos reminds me of a real person. Not that I have a particular individual in mind--you get the idea.

And prior to his Chris Trager character on "Parks and Recreation," I barely registered the existence of Rob Lowe, and now I'm bowing before the guy's certifiable comedic acting genius. Have I forgotten some past comedic turn from this Lowe fella?
As a serious shy bladder sufferer, I am distressed by the majority of comments that seem to reflect a misunderstanding about our condition. "If you gotta go, you'll go" or "what's the big deal, just use a stall" or, worse yet, "just lighten up, stop whining". These are fallacies, for if we could, we would. For DirecTV to further insinuate we are "losers" is outrageous. If you'd like to learn more about the true nature of our condition and how it can seriously impact one's life, visit the website of the International Paruresis Association at

Carol Olmert

Author, "Bathrooms Make Me Nervous"

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