If they don't notice, stop dinking so many juleps.

I'm NEVER using a wet toothbrush again!

Wow, a penchant for self-gratification that borders on the psychotic AND an issue with revenge. No red flags here, eh?

Sounds like your kid has some great parents.

Gee, wonder how you ended up with an "asshole". Must just be a freaky coincidence.

Keep that up and you're going to have ANOTHER kid with your asshole roommate.

If you are one of those people that just seems to run into assholes everywhere they go, it is because you are the asshole.

You've got spunk.

An old urban legend, this one, isn't it? I prefer the one with the jalapeno juice in the underwear, or the fart spray, personally.

I can relate to the feeling of wanting revenge though, for sure.

Lol, that's just your own karma coming back to you, bro. And from the sound of it, you like it so much that you've opted to keep the bad karma flowing. And guess where it's heading, right back to you. Enjoy!

Just get a divorce you passive aggressive moron!

Your post seems to be a bit over the top. I think this is a made up fantasy of yours and a total fucking waste of time trying to figure out where you are coming from. You have way too much time on your "hands"

To whoever screens these anonymous posts, please try and have a bit more discretion on the posts you put up weekly, sometimes they border on unbelievable and you must rely on your readers to interpret them as best they can. Unfortunately your readers ( myself included) sometimes don't want to think that you guys get in a hurry to post stuff just to make space on your website. Well, that is what is happening at the "Stranger" You guys are getting stressed, the stuff you post is hurried and incomplete. I know! I have been following this publication for many years and it is not what it used to be. Not that it should be, but the guidelines for continuity are being skewed by it seems.... Haste. Take a deep breath, sit back in your chairs and don't worry about anything for 10 minutes. The answer will come. Tomorrow is another day and Dan will have to wait for his column.

IA: what's the common denominator in all these relationships you've had with assholes?

@10 ftw

I concur with #18

@10, I get it, well done

This may or may not be one of those "urban legends" but I have an ex-friend who has major mommy issues and she and her boyfriend went over to her mother's house when her mother was on vacation and they had sex all over the house and wiped their "juices" on all the doorknobs, the handle to the refrigerator, the oven door, the remote control for the TV, her mother's dresser drawer handles...I mean, they got sickeningly "creative". She's a passive-aggressive little snot as was her boyfriend who is now her husband. Instead of airing her grievances to her mother in a mature way, she thought this was really clever and was very puzzled and annoyed when she told me and I was disgusted and angry with her. So. It may be this little story is a hoax but I wouldn't put anything past morally bankrupt/immature morons out for "revenge".

I always figured Seattleblues would have had a strong, devoted monogamous marriage. You can never tell with people, can you?

Covertly getting your jizz into your ex has got to be a sex crime, doesn't it? What's disappointing (since it's prob a fake letter) is that the Stranger would think it's funny.

Whoa. You wonder why your wife fucked someone else? Honey, you're crazy. That's why she did it.

Grow the fuck up and stop being a pig. At the very least think about your kid. What kind of example are you setting for him/her?

BE A FUCKING ADULT.

Covertly getting your jizz into your ex has got to be a sex crime, doesn't it? What's disappointing (since it's prob a fake letter) is that the Stranger would think it's funny.

Yeah, that's right, he came all over her tooth brush and she shoved it up her clit?

@26: He came all over her dildo, so...

Also, clits don't have openings. Learn anatomy.

I hope it's fake. Otherwise it shows a serious lack of concern over the well-being of his child.

@11: "I can relate to the feeling of wanting revenge though, for sure."

Why, though? Sounds like this person is the last sort you'd want to commiserate with.

Gee, I just can't figure out why this guy is divorced.

I support this Anonymous dude. Cheat on your spouse and a little jizz on your personal effects is the least you deserve.

I'd wipe my ass with her pillowcase on my way out. Cunt.