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See, this where punctuation is useful: "enduring, pleasurable sex" vs. "enduring 'pleasurable' sex." Kind like "Let's eat, Grandma!" vs. "Let's eat Grandma!"
Well, that kind of brings it back to the vore theme!
If she ever finds herself getting horny while sharpening an axe, or wanting to offer body parts for another's actual consumption, then she should get therapy. Eating people is bad, mm kay?
Other than that, no harm no foul. I'm sure her style of dirty talk would be a surprise she'd want to ease into for most vanilla boys. She sounds fine.
In any case the analogy is a sound one.
I have done no extensive study of fetishism, have no issue with people's
Plays at all. Just disagree with you that it can't be changed. I have no proof of that. Then I assume you also have no proof of the reverse.
Once again, just opinions.
So what's the deal? Are you somehow personally affronted that such things as vore fetishes exist? Are you hurt because VORE has one? I mean, you usually save this kind of attack for one of the commentors whom you disagree with.
Sorry I answered, Hunter.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gimme a fucking break
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There are differences. For one, vorism isn't even sexual. That means we'd have to compare it with a non-food food preference. At best it's an irrelevant fantasy imagined during real sex.
Also it's quite rare, so, sticking with food, it'd be like eating live insects. What's wrong with that? Nothing.
It doesn't bother me what Vore fantasizes to. The only advice I have offered / can offer is that bf perform cunnilingus on her until she perceives and appreciates that as a sexual action.
She is concerned about this situation.
I do reserve the right to speculate on the etiology of this condition.
***********************************************************************
I am well aware that the prevailing attitude in this forum is that all kinks are good and to be supported, and that I could avoid all controversy by joining the chorus of the all-accepters. [As one leading poster once put it, "any man who prefers a natural vulva over a surgically constructed one is a bigot."] I do think some "kinks" are more problematic than others, and I am nonconformist enough to say so. I can imagine a letter to Dan saying, "I am a glue-sniffer, and I'm having trouble meeting girls." The posts here would range along the lines of: "Great! Hang in there. You'll find someone to share your kink with. Join Fetlife! Move to a big city."
There is nothing overtly sexual about this vorism. At least the poor shoe fetishist can jerk off onto a pair of high-heels. This is an indulgence of an affluent society. I can't imagine some serf masturbating to the thought of being eaten by a wild animal.
Vore says she's in her 1st sexual relationship. I assume she's talking about her boyfriend. That would mean she doesn't consider her long-standing fantasy to be sexual.
No fear, Nocute, I don't believe her parents will cut her off. It would spoil their fantasy that they have been wonderful parents, deeply involved in their daughter's growing up. What they probably can say is they gave Vore everything she wanted. And I bet they limited her contact with her peers to avoid the riff-raff, but thereby denying her the chance to build realistic interpersonal relationships.
Psychologically, I suspect these devouring monsters represent the real world, trying to tear her away from the idyllic kingdom of her parents.
I, by no means, hate or dislike the afflictees of bizarre kinks. But sometimes a little sadness.
************************************************************************
I was asking how she knew she was straight. I think she's straight and delusional.
************************************************************************
This vorism sounds like a hysterical reaction to a spoiled childhood. By what criterion is this a sexual condition?
How does she know she's straight? How does her boyfriend enter this world?
Her parents need to kick her out of the house so she knows what real problems are like.
Dan,
Please no more vore stories.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It just seems like more than "investigating" to me.
It just often feels on these threads, one can end up trying to convince you
That one's opinions are valid. When ones opinions are directed to the LW.
I'm open to the arguments others offer, I just find you often use language that denigrates others, to make your point. And as a English Teacher, you know the power of language.
***
Does anyone else wonder what Ms Driasis would have to say to stick up for her generation of 20-somethings if she were here? I imagine Mr Hunter does, as she was his favourite poster.
I feel demonized by Hunter's comments.
I think they are highly inappropriate and patently offensive to someone like myself.
Chairman's commentary has also at times been unpleasantly judgmental.
I do not appreciate being referred to as a 'special snowflake' because I have a fetish, and I certainly am not 'delusional' because I have this fetish.
Part of why I have not been more participatory in this discussion is because of the sense that I will have to endure the abrasive, condescending tone of Hunter, something I feel I should not have to do.
I do not believe for a single moment he is 'investigating' anything other than other people's capacity for taking his trolling.
He's been repeatedly insulting, and contributes nothing of veracity to the discussion as far as I am concerned.
He DOES demonize people with the Vore fetish as far as I am concerned, and his consistent denial of doing so when faced with the evidence of his own words is another indication to me that he is nothing more than a troll fishing for conflict.
In my personal opinion, he should stfu and let people who have experience with this fetish have a judgement free space like what Dan himself provides.
I do not gender myself for privacy purposes, because of people like Hunter.
I have endured enough judgement and abuse for my fetish in my lifetime. I don't need to help people like him make it even more personal.
I only spoke up to offer VORE support and perhaps help people who are genuinely curious understand the kink.
Hunter can go soak his head.
One feels uncomfortable with. If you are comfortable with your life, and dig it- others looking for their own understanding, just flick off, If you find it doesn't fit for you.
This young woman wrote in. Expressing distress. She, like everyone else who reads SL, knows the comments can get hairy. She, could just read Dan's comments, and not bother seeing other people's opinions.
Not invalidating your feelings. Over to you, Hunter.
'I think she's straight and delusional.'
'This vorism sounds like a hysterical reaction to a spoiled childhood.'
'Her parents need to kick her out of the house so she knows what real problems are like.'
Lavagirl: This is not inquiry. It is incendiary instigation.
This is impuging on VORE's personal character, and transitively, anyone who has the Vore fetish.
I state again... Hunter is directly, openly demonizing VORE, and anyone who has the Vore fetish with ad hominem attacks.
Inquiry should be about education.
Nothing about Hunter's commentary seeks education about Vore. It is all directed at attacking the fetish from multiple angles. It is directly and specifically insulting.
You may not think you're invalidating my feelings... but I struggle to see how downplaying Hunter's adversarial conduct throughout this discussion is anything else.
should be written as
Inquiry does not INCLUDE ad hominem attacks on the Vore fetishist whose letter began this thread.
(But I should have carded a certain sex partner)
I also see he moves past that position a bit if he stays in the conversation. And I think those comments were confronted by others, earlier up thread.
And, Hunter seems to go for the flamboyant take and often uses language that can offend. On purpose. I see that too.
It is hard on this site, though to say boo about a few topics. A sort of taboo
Seems to want to be placed over certain areas, never to be looked at.
One can accept another's sexual plays , wish them well on their journey- yet still have an opinion re that sexual play that may confront.
So, rather than get offended by your outrageous comments, I get challenged by them. your overt sexual plays, new story for me. Gets me smiling though.
Obviously though, you do seem to cause some butt kicking
( including your own).
Ms Fan - Hmm, maybe I should revise my last opinion.
Ms Cute - Sorry, but this happens almost all the time in "egalitarian" mixed spaces.
( oh, is that a dirty word, hence the quote marks?) spaces.
Nothing more or less.
And as such, he garners neither my toleration nor my respect.
You may feel comfortable playing the devil's advocate.
I am of the opinion that in this world, devils need no advocates.
People like VORE do.
Having been in her shoes, I know that first hand.
Giving trolls quarter is capitulation to their antics and gives them a veneer of respect they do not deserve.
One can agree to not like or approve of someone's kinks and interests without resorting to language like 'delusional' and 'spoiled' and other absolutely reprehensible statements, and his decision to use that language has earned him nothing but my contempt.
Unfortunately your advocacy has earned it as well.
There's no reason for the language he uses, and no need for you to defend it.
Another thought for Venomminon: Part of the excitement of pursuing younger men, for me at least, is the subversion of traditional gender roles. This facet is absent from same-sex partnerships.
And as I read it, you have been an advocate for Vore.
I'm not being a Devils advocate, cause I don't see Hunter as a devil. His opinions, like yours, like mine- are valid. You or the LW, can see that, surely? His wording may have been insensitive, doesn't make him a devil.
Just different takes on the same thing. If, Hunter, has brought up doubts in you- then those feelings were already there. Each time someone activates our self doubt, it is an opportunity to reasses our selves.
You sounded very comfortable in your story, why has that changed? Because of a random posters comments?
That's too much power you are handing over to someone, you don't even know. A virtual stranger... And you are not your fantasies.
You have these fantasies. I have fantasies. And to others, my fantasies might be pretty strange.
I don't need others permission, though. And neither do you.
Next Time I will just watch these types of ques, just float by.
I'm guessing it's any opinion that doesn't concur with yours that is sticking.
"If Hunter was a troll, Dan would have dealt with him by now."
Incorrect. And FYI Dan doesn't read this far down into the comments.
Lastly, the few times I slept with significantly younger guys (not 18, more like 23-28 to my 46-48) only one of them was really very skillful.
But if you're having fun, go for it! No questions, no regrets.
AYA - I think you have the better chances of causing harm with the May/December thing. That's a kink to be much more careful with, especially with teens. The experience gap is attractive to the desperate.
STG - Those who strike me as the people who'd know are people I wouldn't want to ask.
You don't need a swinging scene for attachment free sex, OKCupid should do. Single swinging? Swingling doesn't make sense to me.
As a male, I don't know what lesbians want, but don't many (most?) want, at least sometimes, a penis replacement, i.e., a dildo, strap-on, etc?
Yup, as do other folks who don’t have stiffly erect biological penises such as men who aren’t always stiffly erect and straight women.
@251 "I am a licensed troll."
Please, folks, stop feeding the troll. And, to Gift Horse, please stop reading the troll. This one specializes in poking and prying, trying to find an insult that stings, so he can have the attention he craves. The only way to cut down on his barbs is to ignore each and every one of them.
Many people, both men and women, find receiving penetration to be extremely pleasurable.
Many people, both men and women, derive great pleasure from penetrating a partner.
Direct external stimulation of the penis or clitoris is commonly experienced as extremely pleasurable.
When there’s always a stiffly erect biological penis to hand, many couples get lazy by always conveniently combining all of the above into penis-in-orifice sex. When there isn’t, they are forced to get creative, there’s more room for various forms of reciprocity and the end point may be less clearly defined. The best sex I have had is with partners who got creative and enjoyed reciprocity. The worst was with stiffly erect men who thought of sex as getting foreplay over with and sticking it in.
@259: Very, very little of the same-sex sex I've had has involved phallic toys. Or toys generally. Though, as with everything, I'm sure preferences vary. (And I am bi, not lesbian, so when I want dick I can have dick.)
I've used strap-ons far more often with men than with women.
Also, I can't tell you how many younger men, knowing I'm a college professor, think I'm up for some sort of "hot for teacher" game--which is the last thing I'm interested in!
A first( that's been openly acknowledged).
Successful dinner last nite with 17 yr old son's girlfriend's parents.
And it's Australia Day/ or as the Australian Aborigines call it.
Invasion Day. ( Monday here).
Just Remember " that actually eating people is bad".
Your advice to AYA, though a bit confronting, is a feeling I share. They are kids/ boys. Not men.
Even if she's shy ATM, attending a fetish party with her bf might inspire both of them to recreate this on their own. Not as overwhelming (in both a good and bad way) as having more than one person nibbling on her anatomy, but it would be one way to experience a socially-acceptable variation of her fetish.
God I feel bitchy today.
probably my Aussie accent.
Man, this thread has got me thinking my 30yo toyboy is a bit past it and I should go back online in search of a younger model. You guys are a bad influence! ;) Hee hee.
For Hunter78, my field of fucks went barren long ago.
I said all I needed about the topic and as for this topic, I'm off to other pastures until Dan's next column.
Hunter, I wasn't saying VORE should change it, but was giving her an option where she could - via fantasy on top of a RL activity - allow herself to feel as if she's experiencing a bit of it.
VORE fears that her fetish will overwhelm her partnered sex life, so should be looking at ways to balance her sexual repertoire, perhaps by placing the fantasy into a niche category like an extra rich dessert or very expensive extravagant meal (yes food analogies are intentional) that she can savour occasionally.
And, if we were to talk about "really warped messed-up fetish(es)", in my mind, this one wouldn't even make the top ten.
Mr Hunter - Considering that this thread has consisted largely of some older women and their supporters (standard disclaimer - NAOWALT) being what might be considered catty about twenty-somethings, it seems only natural to wonder what Ms Driasis would have to say for herself. Whenever you post something very similar to what you might have posted in one of your arguments with her, you evoke memories, just as I am sometimes reminded of Mr Ank, Mr Rhone (although he pops in at odd moments) and Ms Eirene. As you used to address yourself almost exclusively to Ms Driasis, you are a much more constant and reliable - dare I say trigger?
VORE, look at all the women who have never had an orgasm--you're way ahead of the game. If you like to be eaten, let your boyfriend tell you (sincerely) how tempting you are, how tasty he knows you'll be, how much he just can't wait to sink his teeth into you (or swallow you). He can tell you how much it will turn him on to totally possess your delectable self. (okay, so I might have it wrong, but that's how I'd play it).
Anyway, you are no different that someone who needs a particualr toy or position or other set of circumstances or criteria to be met in order to get off. No big deal, since yours take place in your head, it's so easy to accommodate. You don't need special equipment (though you can buy or make some if you want), you don't need access to electricity or water, or whatever. Your fetish goes wherever you go.
It doesn't require your partner to pee (if he's grossed-out or pee-shy) or to get into an uncomfortable and awkward position, or to lose a limb. Anyone worth his salt should be willing to try to find a way to make this work for you, and it seems like it could be fun figuring that out.
Dan has said repeatedly that if a man needed a goat and a canoe to come, you can bet when you went back to his room for the first time there'd be a goat and a canoe there. What Dan never says explicitly, but is implied is that he'd feel no shame about saying "here, pet this goat, paddle this canoe." If this is your version of a goat and a canoe than go for it without embarrassment. When your bf sees/hears/feels you come, he'll be more than happy to help you get there the next time.
Thanks. Now I've got few more questions buzzing, but at least I know where to start wondering.
Helenka: you've got a top Ten list somewhere? Love to read it.
Hunter: sweet, dear Hunter. Bad Boy no 1 . Only achieved thru much effort.
Ghost -The Ghost of...
Anyone whose stated opinion is that:
A 28-year-old man is "violated" by a girlfriend who engages in a minor infraction of the rules of a monogamish relationship, and this infraction is unforgivable; but a 14-year-old virgin is not "violated" by someone using her body to achieve an orgasm, and has no right to be upset by this completely unexpected experience; has views more fucked than your own.
NB. This is not a challenge, please do not rise to it! :)
They're both adults; part of growing up is figuring out who you are and what you like.
Let's just call the Top Ten a convenient expression as I have no desire to need brain bleach were I to actually make such a list. Though Dan did already coin AFTF (A fetish too far) some time ago ... with a few ::shudders:: examples.
Some songs, you know- I just marvel at people's gift for poetry and music..
Very special skills.
And I hate that word, Cougar.. I mean, really?
I think it's great different ages are getting together.. You with a 30 yr old, and you're complaining? Although, way too young for me. I remember 30.
Is that the angst age or the settling down
With panic, age?
And I sure don't think (c) women need a label for it.
Not fussed with (c)women poaching teenage boys, though.
Ms Fan - Define "society" (oh, dear, what a Clintonian thing to say). These days I seem to be encountering a large group of people who appear to believe that Society = 1950's TV Patriarchy and a somewhat less large group who appear to believe that Society = You Go Girl Femtopia. (The former group has the advantage over the latter of at least having a provable case, even if the modernity of the case is fudged.) All I figuratively want at the moment is the accurate answer to the question of what percentage of her predecessor's salary is Mary Richards making *now*. I assume the accurate figure is between 77% and 108%, but those seem to be the popular talking points.
. . . one of them would die of a heart attack and the other would jump out a window?
I remember being able to walk the streets of my neighbourhood, with my girlfriends
At the age of 5.. I wonder if my mother was just crazy, then I remember we didn't hear of kids being taken. Wonder to local canals and check out the local tip.
The Italian girls had their ears pieced and so I followed suit. No TV. My dad wouldn't get one , for years.
And the culture was starting to rumble.
I don't know if that works on a succubus. I was thinking of propping up a box with a stick and putting the soul of a good man in a bowl underneath.
Of course these kids are approaching older women. As you, nocute and Alison have stated. You can, though, decline.
I just feel boys this age are still under warranty to their childhoods a bit.
Best to stay out of that zone. Guys in their mid 20s onwards, a bit of life down.
Art, the subliminal communicator.
Like your snowflake cartoon.
Old withered men, with their limp dicks- sending kids that age to fight wars.
(I'm not a MILF, as I have no children.)
To get your Cougar badge, you must be at least 40 and your toyboy must be under 30. :)
And no, I am definitely not complaining about my 30yo toyboy, nor my 33yo poly partner -- both of whom, come to think of it, I first slept with when I was at least 40 and they were 29.
My other partner is my age though, and my last LTR was 5 years older, so I am open minded about age!
Men and women both go searching for partners.
@325: I understand what you are saying. Getting attached is always a risk. I fell way too hard for a younger man who was long-distance, best sex I'd ever had (sound familiar?) and couldn't commit even to a next visit in three months' time, which just about killed me. But the one I have now is very loyal and despite his flaws, I am happy. This is why I have more than one :)
Best of luck to you LadyAspen. No, you won't replace your husband. But enjoy your freedom for now and see where your love life takes you. xx