This is obviously the blame of Q and the Rhino Room.

Oooh! If you get nostalgic for all the quaint little "old school" "Cap" Hill haunts such as Starbucks -or simply the "Bucks" or "Einies" bagels, do you know where you would totally just lovey dovey it? You should go to the "Belle" -as in view. They've got history that goes back all the way to like 2009. It's totally anthropology or archeology or whatever. And you get all your convinient little boutique shops like "O-max" and "the Stapes", omg! And "P-barn". And you might even find and Olive Garden next to a Claim Jumper/ Circle-K to make you feel right at home like you never left the one mile corporate loop coziness of the AZ. You would have hated Capitol Hill way back before office max. That used to be something fucking wired called Septiem, no you wouldn't have heard of it there was,( gasp) only one. They had a huge pickle they put on your burger that they made themselves and you totally couldn't get one like anywhere else. Totally inconvenees (IYKWIM). And totes stay away from Vivace. They're kinda like Starbucks because they also make coffee, but kinda not like Starbucks because they don't have drip coffee for some reason, and they don't have orange mocha frappuccinos. And the depth and character might not suit your pallet.

This is a joke, right? This is you kids being sarcastic or ironic or some stupid shit, right? Please just fucking tell me, because sarcasm and irony is loosing out to the fact that there really are people like this. So its hard to tell if this is a joke or not. You do see that...right?

@3: You must be a new reader. "New Column" is the bullshit irony section that most of us don't bother to read.

Same thing that happened to the Seattle I used to know. You ruined it.

"Cap" Hill? Say it ain't so, Wallace!
Next up, elegy for Walmart (pls, God, I'll go back to church,I promise).

I miss Cramp, and book stores.

You didn't have to stooooop so looooow...

Hehe - what's funnier, the hilarious mock editorial, or people tripping over themselves to post incredulous comments?

Give me the Capitol Hill/Seattle of the '90's. You really do not know what you have missed. Orpheium Records, The Cramp, Taquiria. That was the bomb ass days of real Seattle

the only proper time to have moved to Seattle is when i did.

@9: Neither one is very funny.

@2, how can you pose as such a guardian of Seattle cred and not recognize this column as classic Stranger parody?

Seattle is, was, and always should be the way it was on the day I was *born* here.

lets argue about a joke.
I love you comment section.