I, Anonymous

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They might not necessarily want a second horrendously-done tattoo even if it's free. Some people actually wish to help others avoid the misfortunes they themselves had to suffer.

Ricardo on February 3, 2015 at 6:34 PM

And the true beauty of this is that most of these people are over-paid, chair warming corporate hipsters that will one day be running things - well - that is until the world implodes in on itself. But really this is societys fault, it not that PC to complain in public - well - unless you're having an altercation on the road with another driver, or bein' dis'spected in a strip mall parking lot at bar-close time. If you think its bad now, just give it a couple of more years.

Seattlebcc on February 4, 2015 at 4:17 AM

And the true beauty of this is that most of these people are over-paid, chair warming corporate hipsters that will one day be running things - well - that is until the world implodes in on itself. But dont blame them totally as really this is societys fault - it just not that PC to complain in public - well - unless you're having an altercation on the road with another driver, or bein' dis'spected in a strip mall parking lot at bar-close time with both sides of the argument having enough man-power and weapony to start their own country. If you think its bad now, just give it a few of more years.

Seattlebcc on February 4, 2015 at 4:24 AM

Oh and the person serving coffee, pasta, pizza, or a sandwich, and doing your hair, nails, anal bleaching, tattoo, etc. are always so open to hearing complaints, particularly if the complaint is about service or their work. No worries, no one ever spits in your food, drink or otherwise. And, confrontation is what people are looking for when they go out. There's a balance to everything, which include which yelp reviews to believe and what you should complain about in person or online - though it on the business to make an environment in which it appears constructive criticism is welcome. The customers can definitely be the problem, but you are the one trying to get them to give you money.

If your getting tons of negative reviews online, then just maybe the problem is you or how your running your business. Pay your people well and staff appropriately. Though I would add that if someone is messing up your tattoo you better speak up.

reswin on February 4, 2015 at 5:44 AM

Ode to the end of the Brown Star!
Shit, she fucked it up!
Now its a yin yang.

Godzilla1916 on February 4, 2015 at 8:35 AM

I, Anonymous is passive aggressively wining about people passive aggressively wining. How appropriate.

meso on February 4, 2015 at 8:58 AM

An anonymous complaint about anonymous reviews. Bravo.

GoodTeaNiceHouse on February 4, 2015 at 8:59 AM

I give this I, Anonymous 3 out of 5 stars.

meso on February 4, 2015 at 9:03 AM

Yelp causes wifey to say, "Look, this place got great reviews!" Then she drags us miles out of our way to eat at the place that is no better than the joint around the corner.

Achaiwoi on February 4, 2015 at 12:03 PM

I used to think Yelp served a useful purpose, allowing people to let others know about their good or bad experiences with local businesses, then I started hearing about Yelps aggressive tactics, using coercion bordering on extortion to force businesses to pay for their services. So now I treat Yelp like every other business who uses a business model I don't agree with, I avoid them completely.

RickFromTexas on February 4, 2015 at 1:54 PM

Every time I read a bad review on yelp, I look at the person's profile to see what their other reviews are. 9 out of 10 times they're bitching about every place they've been to. And as far as bad tattoos go, that's you're own damn fault, research your artist, get recommendations, and don't let someone's brother/cousin/niece/sister/nephew "practice" on you.

southerninseattle on February 4, 2015 at 2:12 PM

No need for the bleach.
Just some lube.
I do like making you yelp.

Slam1263 on February 4, 2015 at 2:18 PM

The only thing worse than bratty Yelpers would be the people who take the bratty Yelpers seriously in any way.

treehugger on February 4, 2015 at 4:16 PM

While this IA is definitely petulant, I must admit I get a little angry every time I see the Yelp! ad on the bus (the one with the smiling woman and the cappuccino). I was a server for 10+ years, and the only thing worse than Yelpers were the food bloggers.

Preppy6917 on February 5, 2015 at 2:55 AM

@14: That ad drives me crazy, but for a different reason: that drink is clearly a cafe au lait, NOT a cappuccino!

Mischa Vainburg on February 5, 2015 at 11:53 AM

I worked in the service industry for 30+ years. people won't tell you they had a bad experience most of the time unless given an opportunity (i.e. ask them 'how was everything'?) if you don't do that, they go online and rant. the fix isn't to kill yelp, it's to work on your customer service. duh.

musicslug on February 5, 2015 at 12:45 PM

This thread makes me want to go enjoy some yelp reviews.

lalilolly on February 5, 2015 at 1:26 PM

You must be one of those shitty business owners whose lost business over yelp.

marizsadarling on February 5, 2015 at 2:57 PM

Yelp is still better than the racist trolls on yahoo. What a cesspool.

johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt on February 6, 2015 at 11:42 AM

Do yourselves a favor.

http://youtu.be/QEdXhH97Z7E

BeanTrashcan on February 6, 2015 at 11:57 AM

A passive-aggressive anonymous rant on the internet about passive-aggressive anonymous rants on the internet! Hypocrisy disguised as irony is still hypocrisy. Time to search for yelp reviews of cocaine and malt liquor.

somnabushido on February 6, 2015 at 1:04 PM

I agree with #1. That's why I do it, and I'm no shrinking violet and do speak up, but now I have an outlet when I get the usual Seattle "i couldn't give a shit less" attitude along with that shitty service. But it has to be really shitty service.

mandyv on February 6, 2015 at 1:45 PM

As a business owner who bends over backward for my clients like they used to do "back in the day," Yelp is awesome for me. Part of the problem causing some poor reviews, if you ask me, is lack of work ethic. (and I did say PART of the problem, I warrant there are also plenty of high-maintenance whiners...) However, lots of kiddos these days don't take pride in their positions and are waiting it out until a six-figure salary magically lands in their laps. I loathe the day I have to hire employees. Watch that yelp score go to shit then.

killary on February 6, 2015 at 3:24 PM

I am sure what most of you don't know is that Yelp extorts money from small business. We get a call from Yelp telling us we have several reviews and a couple of them are negative. "We can clear that right up for you.....if you become a menber (for $350 per month) we can make sure those bad reviews are hidden and only your best ones are seen"

As far as I'm concerned Yelp can take all their reviews and shove em where the sun don't shine. Alos you (as a business) can not be removed from their site. Yelp Sucks!!!!

dressdsgnr on February 6, 2015 at 10:25 PM

I am sure what most of you don't know is that Yelp extorts money from small business. We get a call from Yelp telling us we have several reviews and a couple of them are negative. "We can clear that right up for you.....if you become a menber (for $350 per month) we can make sure those bad reviews are hidden and only your best ones are seen"

You are, of course, full of shit.

This was an allegation that came up a few years ago, but after investigation by reliable journalists, was found to be not supported by fact.

Arthur Zifferelli on February 7, 2015 at 11:51 AM

By the way, dressdsgnr, what's your business name? My guess is your Yelp reviews suck because your service sucks. Negative reviews come from unhappy customers, and if you have a lot of unhappy customers, your has a problem

Arthur Zifferelli on February 7, 2015 at 11:54 AM

@25 I knew that. Yelp is a protection racket, and that's why I tell everyone I know not to comment there.

@27 There are entitled assholes out there with unrealistic expectations, whose hobby is complaining about the service. I know because some of them are my relatives. A few negative reviews don't really indicate much.

Sea Otter on February 7, 2015 at 2:06 PM

Oh,you want me to grow some fucking balls...alright, here you go then,big man! I am a yelper myself and if a business is fucking shit and the food tastes like dog shit,the waiters are stay at home moms that don't give a shit about their customers,the cooks are inmates and so on,then FUCK THAT PLACE! BURN IT! BURN IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND,SCATTER THE ASHES AND NEVER,NEVER COME BACK TO THIS UNGODLY UNHOLY SHIT HOLE! But if a place has awesome service,the food is good,the staff gives a shit about their customers...they get a high rating AND I ENCOURAGE THEM TO EAT THERE...it works like that! If I am going to get a tattoo,it better be with somebody that DOES know what the fuck he or she is doing and DOES NOT scars me for life...am I clear? I am not on yelp for fun! I am on yelp to encourage/warn anyone about your business or restaurant... It saves me the trouble of calling the health inspector or the BBB or unions to find out who and why they hired you! Now,do you understand? SHAPE UP OR SHUT DOWN! HOW'S THAT FOR FUCKING BALLS?

superhyrulean on February 7, 2015 at 3:58 PM

@29

yeah, the small-to-moderate amount of power hasn't gone to your head at all.

LEE. on February 8, 2015 at 10:53 PM

@29 if you're dumb enough to get a tattoo without looking at the artists portfolio first then you will get the tattoo that you deserve. If you don't like how food tastes at a restaurant then please feel free to make it your damn self.

Rustyshackleford on February 9, 2015 at 2:38 PM

@25: "I am sure what most of you don't know is that Yelp extorts money from small business. We get a call from Yelp telling us we have several reviews and a couple of them are negative. "We can clear that right up for you.....if you become a menber (for $350 per month) we can make sure those bad reviews are hidden and only your best ones are seen"

Yeah, no. They have a very explicit and proven track record of NOT accepting money to remove bad reviews. This is a bunch of horse shit, to say the least.

The only people who hate Yelp! are the people who get bad reviews. Maybe instead of hating your customers you can try to improve your business.

Eckstein on February 9, 2015 at 2:48 PM

@31: And if I see rats or unsanitary food prep conditions, should I just move on and not let anyone know? You're unfounded righteousness is ignorant.

Eckstein on February 9, 2015 at 2:52 PM

Don't overlook the fact that businesses pay money to Yelp for highlighting their positive reviews. Take everything there with many grains of salt.

RDPence on February 9, 2015 at 2:54 PM

@1,4,23: Yelp isn't a useful service. It used to be, but now it's a business. On top of that, many people are idiots who give unreasonable scores for stupid crap.

@people claiming yelp isn't extortionary: http://kitchenette.jezebel.com/a-court-h…
You're wrong. They're so extortionary they WENT TO COURT to defend it.

Hanoumatoi on February 9, 2015 at 3:22 PM

@25 agreed.

@32, half true at best. Yelp does solicit advertising. If you don't agree, the good reviews are 'hidden.'

biffp on February 9, 2015 at 3:25 PM

#29:

I don't think "stay at home mom" means what you think it means. Unless you're eating at your friend's, family's or your own mom's table and they're making you pay them money for sitting at a table with them.

iseult on February 9, 2015 at 4:51 PM

26/32.... suuuuure, but then my friend's store was rated 1 on Yelp (one disgruntled customer) for two to three years, and 32 other reviews from people that had actually been to the store were politely shoved off as Unverified. Thankfully some of the reviews finally showed up in the middle of last year. If it's not pay to play, it's certainly a weird and suspicious filter (treat a one star review from a one-time user as valid, but deny reviews from people that have actually reviewed other places).

zachd on February 9, 2015 at 5:26 PM

seems like a good place for someone from The Stranger to comment on Yelp policy...i wonder if they have been extorted by Yelp

btw....3 stars for The Stranger.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-stranger-sea…

Cassette tape fan on February 9, 2015 at 5:54 PM

"why don't you just say so to the business owner/manager as soon as it happens? You might even get some free shit!"

IA sounds much more intolerable than Yelpers.

undead ayn rand on February 9, 2015 at 6:59 PM

I get my anal bleaching done at the same place I get my V-steam. Oh, Gwyneth, you've changed my life!

Fnarf on February 9, 2015 at 7:16 PM

Yelp should def be taken with a grain of salt- 1-star reviews are often (entertainingly) batshit crazy and the way reviews get vetted as hidden seems kinda suspect- but if you see the same complaints from people over and over again it's a pretty good bet they might be accurate.
And IA acting like everyone should take the time to go into a minute review w/ the waiter on their night out instead of just writing it up and sharing it in a popular forum invented for that purpose- LOL. LOL I say.

chi_type on February 9, 2015 at 8:38 PM

As others have mentioned, Yelp gets money directly from businesses and in exchange they manipulate how reviews are presented and tabulated. This happened to us/ a gentlemen from Yelp called us and requested $400/month for sponsorship. We declined and went from 4 and a half to three (with lots of hidden reviews) in the course of 1 day. Our customers ask us what happened to their reviews all the time.

At 26/27, your passionate yet murky defense of Yelp makes one wonder your motives. Seems like you may be on their payroll.

pardonemoi on February 9, 2015 at 9:57 PM

If you have a problem with yelp, quick commenting anonymously on a random blog and go write a review so others can learn from your experience.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/yelp-san-francis…

Jude Fawley on February 9, 2015 at 10:07 PM

Quit, I mean. Not quick.

Jude Fawley on February 9, 2015 at 10:09 PM

Thanks Jude, good idea! appreciate the constructive critique, I will do that.

But don't believe for a moment that this is a random blog. Anywhere that their name is mentioned (especially in a trendy lifestyle publication like the stranger) becomes a battleground for their reputation. It's all about the viral message, they're definitely defending turf here as you may have noticed from some of the shills that have commented.

pardonemoi on February 9, 2015 at 10:39 PM

Here's a report on Yelp's practices.

http://nypost.com/2014/09/06/anger-over-…

Last year when I saw a TV news report about this I checked out Laszlo's Upholstery's yelp ratings and sure enough, most of the positive reviews were suppressed.

seatackled on February 9, 2015 at 11:16 PM

The people defending Yelp here are clearly Yelpers, because no same human being would otherwise bother defending it. I'm not judging you people today though, just asking that you help bring the concept to full fruition; until we can Yelp about other people I feel like all of this is just navel gazing bullshit.

LEE. on February 10, 2015 at 1:14 AM

Anal bleaching? I had to look that up. OhmyGawd. That just ain't right. You people doing that be crazy.

BadBreathMomma on February 10, 2015 at 4:38 AM

A passive aggressive letter calling out passive aggressive people. You stay classy, Seattle.

FTW999 on February 10, 2015 at 10:36 AM

Yelp is nothing but sunshine. Transparency helps business owners who deliver great products, and hurts those who deliver shit. Maybe the latter are mad because they've slid under the radar for years and can't any longer. Fuck em.

Keenan C on February 10, 2015 at 2:56 PM

@33 oh boy I didn't realized seattle was running rampant with vermin while simultaneously experiencing a shortage of health inspectors! YELP IS ON THE WAY!!!!!! Good thing too because seriously most people don't have enough common sense to know where and what to eat without someone on the Internet telling them about that rat they saw that one time.

Rustyshackleford on February 10, 2015 at 4:29 PM

#32 you're a douchebag. I own a business, have a 4.5 star average and I think yelp is a crock of shit. They keep calling and emailing me to give them money to run ads yet they don't do anything for small businesses. I told several of their sales reps I don't want anything to do with them and 15 5-star (FIFTEEN) of my 50 or so reviews were "filtered out". When I asked them about that, they told me their filter takes out reviews by people that are not active on yelp. Interesting, only the good reviewers are not active? I did a little digging. I have a couple 2 stars and a few 3 stars (no 1 stars) and the last time they yelped was over 6 months ago, some of them only the review for my business. It IS a racket. I will never give them money.
I do respond to reviewers, although I know that does nothing but boost their ego and make them feel important. I can't be snarky but you probably know that what I mean by "yes you're right, I apologize for your bad experience" is "Go fuck yourself, you moron!"
I wish I could remove myself from Yelp entirely, unfortunately I can't.

yelpcansuckmydick on February 13, 2015 at 9:07 PM

Why not do both? Complaining to the manager won't do anything to warn other people away from a crappy business.

Diagoras on February 16, 2015 at 10:32 AM

Yelp is besides the point. There are other places to leave reviews. You can even just post to your friends on FB and Twitter. Word gets around, and there's nothing wrong with that. Yes, you should complain to the manager but your opinion about the service you got is not a state secret. Share it if you want. What other people do with what you say is their business. Managers of a business who know what they are doing should have nothing to fear from this.

Diagoras on February 16, 2015 at 10:40 AM

Wow,Seattle IS insane! I'm staying put in NYC if you people are this batshit. Also, Mr Yelper who wants places to burn, stay classy eh! I'm sure if someone did some digging, we'd find you're one of the morons who hold up service because you're posting pictures of your food online and doing stupid shit to show off to your friends rather than sitting your arse down and eating and getting the fk out. As someone said, don't like a place? Learn your lesson and never go back. Loser!

SRK83 on March 2, 2015 at 9:01 AM

I, Anonymous

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