Columns Feb 25, 2015 at 4:00 am

Wham-Bam-Thank-You... Mom?


I like the way you think. I think it's hot as fuck when people just come right out and ask for it!
Dude, you are reading WAY too much into her comment. Was it a bit "inappropriate"? Perhaps, but that you assume she wants your cock is a bit of a stretch and say more about you than her.
Yeah okay, pal. I bet you're the type of guy who thinks if a waitress or flight attendant smiles at him, then it must mean she wants your dick. Hahahaha! What a sad and frustrating life...
Seriously, who has an awkward conversation like that with their kid about a stranger and then tells them about it? I'm a female, and I wouldn't make a comment to a strange man about his penis no matter how candidly cute my son's comment was--that is, unless I wanted to start a conversation about that man's penis. And no woman starts a conversation about a man's penis unless she's already considering it. She wants the D.
This is hilarious and from this story I'm almost 100% positive I know who this guy is they're talking about. He regularly sulks around at this coffee shop I go to in the Maple Leaf neighborhood. There is this young girl there who is obviously decades younger than him and he follows her around and makes gross comments about her to other people every time I'm there. She is a cute young mom and he is a perverted nasty old creeper who is obsessed with her and stalks her. I don't even know her name but the next time I see her I'm going to show her this and suggest she get a restraining order against your ancient ass. Dude, she doesn't want to FUCK you, I promise, she wants you TO LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE. Go out and buy yourself a blow up doll to have sex with so you can leave that poor girl and her kid alone.
ugh, just ugh.
oneforall , I have never been to a coffee shop in Maple Leaf.
Mr. "One for all," you don't have your facts straight because you also don't know even half the facts. I have known the woman and her son since the summer of 2013. In the fall of that year, she told me how, one night when she'd asked him to thank God in prayer, before going to sleep, he mentioned one word: friend. When she asked him if he meant me (using my name), he said, "Yes."
This woman is indeed generally kind and considerate. She was with me when I had to have my late feline pal euthanized at the neighborhood veterinary clinic. (I crossed paths with her, as I walked to the clinic; and she asked me if I wanted someone to go with me; and I said yes.) Moreover, I took care of her son, innumerable times (11 by my count) last summer, when she had to go to job interviews or parents/teacher sessions; sometimes with only 10 minutes notice. I put her needs as my number one priority, as I put my career on hold. In point of fact, I even took care of her cat, when her apartment was inspected or had maintenance people come to it for work (since she wasn't supposed to have a cat - believe it's now gone).

I have had a friend help me deliver furniture, she'd bought at Goodwill, to the building where she lives. I also let her use my Orca card, loaded for unlimited rides for two weeks, when my car was down and she needed a way to go look at pre-schools and do some shopping.

For the record, she's younger than she looks; but she is an adult who turns 30 in May. Also for the record, I am not as decrepit as you make me out to be, nor a new person to the coffee shop in question.

She has been sent a copy of this "I, anonymous" post so if she has a problem with it, how about letting her talk to me directly? There are already some people who, like you, got involved with good intentions only to go off half-cocked (pun intended).

If in point of fact, you know who I am, I invite you to discuss this matter directly with me.
Ohhh, so you're a Nice Guy (TM). Your post @12 makes it seem like you think you're owed a fuck by this lovely woman, and the original I, Anon reads like some kind of negging campaign.

Sooo, oneforall is right - you're a creeper, leave her the fuck alone.
@12 the level of self absorption displayed on a public platform is beyond hilarious. if you were so gosh golly altruistic, then what's all the defensiveness for?

this story wreaks of so much boredom, so much loneliness and a huge pile of ew.

@6 hahahaha! :)
"One for all" if real men don't have to go anonymous, than why have you - other than the fact that this forum calls for it; it's supposed to keep things civil and allow people to say things they can't, for whatever reasons, if they have to go on record. It works out pretty well and now, you're trying to mess that up. More to the point, when I asked you to talk me to directly, why you go to a coffee shop where I might go, only to harass me, slander my name and defame my character?

You have no idea who I am and you don't know me. People such as yourself don't make the time to really get to know anyone. Are you insane? Why do you go to a coffee shop and "ask around" for someone who you don't know, don't respect and just want to harass without provocation? I would strongly advise you not to do that again. That can get dangerous, with the wrong sort of people. In my case, I honestly don't know how I'd have reacted if you'd popped up and said, "Hi! I'm the guy who decided to come by and tell you how to handle women; and by the way, I think you're an 'old creeper.' " But trust me, I don't want you to find out.

The only thing anyone has had the courage to call me, to my face, at any coffee shop, is indeed "a nice guy." Frankly, I try to be whatever the situation calls on me to be - nice if appropriate and something just the opposite where that's appropriate. As an Irish playwright of note once said, "A gentleman is someone who is never unintentionally rude."

I talked to the woman you call "this girl" when no one else would give her the time of day, because they felt she was just a girl. I saw her as a woman who wasn't getting a break and had been screwed over by a former employer. When I talked about her, that's what I said. Nothing I did was, or is, meant to be malicious.

As for being a "real man," you make me smile. It's got nothing to do with getting laid. As a teacher I had named Jack Cady once said in a letter to me, "The highest form of manliness is helping others." In the same letter, he said that's what I was about; and I try to live up to that.

That is not to say I wouldn't take getting laid, if it was offered to me - especially by the female in question. You take care now.
Well you're never getting laid by her, so get a life and leave her alone. You're pathetic.
@17 - "If it was offered to me..."

Will not happen, creeper, and you sticking around hoping it will is truly pathetic.

(Pro-tip: Never refer to women as 'females' when attempting to woo one.)
What the fuck is going on here? Can you two get a goddamn room already please, and leave the rest of the world out of it?
"One for all" you're amazing. You know it all, don't you? I have a life, one fought hard to win. I've gone through things that might make you give up. That's no exaggeration.
How am I pathetic to you? That's a rhetorical question. I'm tired of defending and explaining myself to a guy who will never understand what I'm saying. Leave this matter be.
Look, "Sanguisuga," I don't know what sort of "pro" you are, but I'm smart enough not to refer to a woman as a "female" in conversations outside of clinical ones. And don't call me a "creeper" again. I'm not "hanging around" to see what happens. The coffee shop where I met her has been what a pal called "your home away from home" since 2007. It's a great place. The lady with the little boy just happens to have moved close to the coffee shop, in the summer of 2013.

I am not going to give up everything I like, just because we've parted company. The coffee shop is my place. If I see her, it happens. Her son still looks at me and wonders what's going on. But that's the type of thing a player such as yourself doesn't care about much. The children are just part of the scenery to you guys.
A player? Sweetheart, I'm a woman, and I only play for men. That's where the 'pro-tip' comes in. It's easy to recognise that any fool who refers to a woman as a 'female' in any context, in any conversation is a grade-A douchebag. I'm calling you a creeper because your own words and apparent actions are indeed painting you as a creeper. You don't want to be one, then don't act like one.

Children are no part of any scenery of mine. Don't like 'em, don't want 'em, stay far far away from 'em. Whereas you seem to see them as some sort of ticket for a free ride, as long as you 'babysit' eleven times or so.
Why has nobody commented on this effing creep making dick jokes in front of a kid??!!

(until now)

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