Columns Sep 16, 2015 at 4:00 am

The Last 16 Years of Gawkworthy Crime, Human Bloopers, and Adult Children Hoarding the Corpses of Their Dead Parents



Sad to hear you'll be leaving, David. I always looked forward to your column and thoughtful movie reviews. Best of luck to ya!
Thanks for all the Last Days! Good luck in all of your future endeavors. Clip your toenails in public once in awhile, jus' so we know you're alive. Rock On!!
I really can't believe it. I feel like I felt watching the series finale of Buffy. I might die. I do not know how to express how much I will miss reading your column. There is not a person on this earth who can tell a terrible story with as much humor, compassion, and empathy as you can. I hope you get everything you ever wanted and live happily ever after.
So THAT's why "New Jersey Man" never became a major hero in the Marvel universe. Who knew?
Aloha David, and don't be a stranger!
Gonna miss your columns, David. Good luck to you!
By my count, that's four death jokes with the "toddler shoots mom" joke repeated, not five unique jokes. Did I miss something?

This is horrible news. So many great writers gone from the Stranger recently, I may even start reading the Weekly occasionally. Best wishes and we'll miss you terribly.
Tell me that wasn't me in that R Place incident....
We'll miss you
It's truly the end of an era. The perverse and insightful humor of Last Days helped me cope with the worst years of Caligutard's Reign of Terrah, 2004 - 2008. A million thank yous, and FSM-speed ahead.
I always looked forward to Last Days in The Stranger ever since coming back to Seattle in the early 00s. Best of luck to what's ahead for you!
This makes me so sad. Best wishes on your new path, sir.
You have been a ROCK for us'ns. Thankee sir.
So sad! I remember with glee when you posted my disgusting observation of a man at the gym scraping the bottoms of his feet in the locker room and flinging the dead skin on the floor. I felt strangely satisfied that I had alerted the world.

Last days has always been a highlight of the Stranger for me. Au revior and best wishes!
Bummer--you were really good at this. Thanks for the 16 years and good luck.
Huh. I started reading The Stranger 18 years ago, shortly after arriving in Seattle, and I don't remember those first couple of years being Last Days-less. Oh well. I enjoyed them while you wrote them.
you done good work there, dave.
LAST DAYS is always the first thing I read when visiting The Stranger. Sincere thanks for all of that laughter in the dark.
I always enjoyed reading Last Days, thanks for writing it all these years!
So sad to witness the end of an era. Good luck to you, sir... looking forward to buying ten copies of the new book.
Last Days has always been my absolute favorite part The Stranger. Thank you for the WTF and schadenfreude-filled laughs your column often brought. You somehow managed to be deeply humane throughout it all. Best wishes.
Echoing all the comments about the greatness of Last Days and how much you'll be missed. You have such a remarkable style that I usually knew within a sentence or two when someone was filling in for you. Best wishes.
I will never forget your columns following 9/11. They really helped me get through some dark days. Felicitations!
David, you've been consistently my favorite bit of The Stranger for so many years now, the section that I'd pick up and read every week. I didn't always get through the whole paper, but Last Days has been a must every week for years. Your voice will be missed. I hope your next career step is rewarding and great for you!
Ach! Garsh an' begoooragh! We'll miss ya' David... Truly last days indeed.
Best of luck with th' next gig. I've also appreciated your movie voiceovers, thanks for introducing me to Can't Stop The Music at Central Cinema, oh the memories of that! o_O
May fortune forever warm your face, and the wind be always up your back...
Any word on a replacement? Either someone taking the helm, or a different column?
You can go, but leave Pickles. JUST KIDDING, I will miss you here, funny guy!
Thanks for all that you've given to us. All the best to you!

Also, very cute dog!
You will be among the greatly missed in The Stranger! Thanks so much, David, for 16 years worth of wicked kickin' awesome Last Days weekly wrapups!
Wishing you all the very best and hope to catch you again in future endeavors.
--auntie griz
p.s. If Last Days continues on in The Stranger, is it possible that Cienna can take over the helm?
Bye, Dave. I remember Axl. I remember the Aha! I remember Nancy and Sluggo. Sad thing when one has to move on from such good memories, but those of us who remember will always have those memories. They are ours to keep. So glad I was a part of that time though. Aren't you?

Best always in everything you do from here on out.

Funny guys are so hot.
I still have a Bailey/Coy stamp card in my wallet. Thanks for all you've done for our community over the years.
Awww....poopie. "Last Days" has been required reading for years, as I have loved all the humor (black and otherwise) that has graced the column. Its just not going to be the same without you Dave. Best of luck in all your future endeavors.
I have loved your column from day one. Sad to see you go.
Very amusing last column, no surprise there! Wanted to clarify that the Sept. 23 performance of your show, "A Short Term Solution to a Long Term Problem," is at University of Puget Sound, not actually at Tacoma Art Museum. TAM is a community partner for the event but it is not on-site at the museum. Fans can see the show at: University of Puget Sound, Schneebeck Concert Hall, 1500 North Warner St, Tacoma, WA.
Ahhhh man! So sad to see you go David, good luck in all you do.

Now where will our Sea-Town hot tips come from? Please Odin, O please, pretty, pretty please do not let this column fall into the hands of the celebrity obsessed Ann Romano, I hate American Aristocracy and do not give a flying fuck about Hollywood or the rich and famous, even if they are falling on their ass or getting anal bleached.
So sad! I always read your column, and some weeks, it was the only thing I read. Wish your show was running more than one night. Good luck, David.
Good luck, David. Oh, and Dan and Tim, please, please PLEASE don't go with "Ann Romano" as a permanent replacement. What she does works in the Mercury, but not here.
Terrible news. When I lived in Seattle from 2000-2006, I would always await this column eagerly, every week, so reliable, so funny, so good. Then when I moved to New York, this column, online, would be my end-of-the-week treat. Moving back to Seattle last fall meant joy joy joy that I got David Schmader and Last Days back! All the best to you and thank you for the years of happiness.
This is the only section of The Stranger I read religiously. I guess I'm finally done with this rag.
Well David, your book sounds like one I won't bother to read. I just take whatever dope I can get, living in a backward country that won't legalise nothing. I've been reading for only a year or so and I'm sad. Now off you go, and have fun.
Thank you, Mr Schmader, for your years of fine service. Sorry to see you go, I will miss you.
This was my favorite column in any publication (I sent in more than my share of Hot Tips over the years) and I'm sad to see you go, but good luck in all your future endeavors.

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