Columns Sep 23, 2015 at 4:00 am

My Way or the Segway

Steven Weissman


Here's a hint: try not to let things that don't affect you ruin your day.
If going a mile/s, then I think a Segway is fine - you keep a car off the road and you show up for work ready to go, not potentially sweaty and a little tired. If a couple of blocks, your are probably an idiot. That being said, per #1, you're a idiot for complaining about something that doesn't impact you. I'm sure you looked real cool rolling your judgmental eyes.
yawn....Petty gripes are boring when they come from the entitled - next case!
I usually enjoy these I,Anonymous letters but this one is pretty weak. Someone used technology to get around having to physically exert themselves and this bothered you? Are you fucking serious? Isn't trying to avoid physical exertion like the reason technology even exists?
What a NATZI!! Who do you think you are telling people what they should and shouldn't do? GET A FUCKING LIFE!!
Dear people who ride around on those stupid horse things: In a word— WHY? In two words—FUCKING WHY? Because, really, it appears to me as though you have two legs that are perfectly capable of being placed in front of each other, one at a time, until you reach your destination. Yes, I did roll my eyes at you, dandy-on-one-of-those-stupid-fucking-things. Can I send you a charcoal sketch of how stupid you look? Please? You're a half step away from those useless velocipede riders. JUST FUCKING WALK.
Fat shaming! Fat shaming! Someone call lindy west, stat!
You know all the Segway users work for Amazon... BURN THEM AT THE STAKE!
Does anybody besides cops ever ride these things? Whiz bang pow!
Sounds like the IA is just pissed off cause he doesn't have one....whiny little bitch. Next time keep your head down and walk your whiny ass along the sidewalk and worry about yourself.
What if the guy has a injured or crippled knee, angle, foot, or leg? And has to go a couple miles? Then a Segway could be justifiable. No waiting for a bus, no overcrowded bus either. Though mechanically, they look pretty stylish-but-stupid from my POV. A regular, fore-and-aft-wheeled motorized scooter isn't nearly as likely to make you fall on your ass if you some electronics malfunction. Though I think it's true that, in terms of things to bitch about, there are much better ones out there... like how Trump is getting about a hundred million dollars in free PR from the idiot sensationalist corporate news media, while Sanders is virtually ignored... (that is, except for when they do some subtly sleazy slime-job on him, like Time...)
@11 - Segways may not go much faster than walking, but consider cops, security guards in very large complexes, postal carriers, and people that work in warehouses... Many large warehouses and data centres actually have bikes.
If I had a Segway I'd roll the shit outta that motherfucker. Id roll all over town like Sir Mix Alot. Id roll over all you pussy ass pedestrians entitled or not. I'd start a Segway gang and we would wreak havoc all over Seattle. In fact My Segway gang would take over the Stranger's office and make it our clubhouse. Fuck all yall!! Segways motherfucking kick ass bitches!
I've never tried one, but they look like fun to me. IA needs to find some hobbies though.
Is it my imagination or is I, Anonymous just becoming a place for people to prove they're assholes? Most of the letters lately have proven the writer is the problem.
I have this same issue with electric bicycles.

All most only carry a charge up to 7 to 12 miles. You're carrying all this extra weight around. You can "regenerative" brake and charge by pedaling, but what's the in, energy out?

From everything I've read (or not read, since they make it so unclear), going uphill solely on a battery bike is impossible at a certain grade and will definitely drain the small battery.

Again, the point of a bike is optimizing the strong legs of a human by giving it more speed and frictionionless travel. Adding a motor seems like an excessive addition. And being able to quickly speed up, change gait and so on using only your body is one of the pleasures of bicycling.
OH SHIT, you rolled your eyes at someone?! DAAAAAMN. You should get a Segway just to ferry around the gigantic fucking balls you must have. I mean, you seriously rolled your eyes at a person -- and they SAW it?! Holy fucking BURNnnNNnn!!11
I have this same issue with horseless carriages.

All most only carry fuel for up to 250 or 300 miles. You're carrying all this extra weight around. You can "refuel" by stopping for gas, but what's the in, energy out?

From everything I've read (or not read, since they make it so unclear), going uphill in a horseless carriage is impossible at a certain grade or type of terrain and will definitely drain the gas tank.

Again, the point of a carriage is optimizing the strong legs of a horse by giving it a smoother ride. Adding a motor seems like an excessive addition. And being able to quickly speed up, change gait and so on using only your horse's body is one of the pleasures of a carriage.
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe: "I have this same issue with electric bicycles. All most only carry a charge up to 7 to 12 miles . . . going uphill solely on a battery bike is impossible at a certain grade and will definitely drain the small battery."

I recently bought an electric bike from Seattle company, RadPowerBikes. Even without pedaling, it gets me from Fremont to Tukwila (22 miles) on about 3/4 a charge @ 20mph. That includes going up and over the West Seattle Bridge. If I pedal the bike and dial the speed back to about 12 mph, the range jumps to about 50 miles. Hills don't seem to be any problem for the e-bike.
Looking foward to your forthcoming posts about bicycles, skateboards, and buses. Keep up the good work, Bro.
The only time I've been on a Segway was on three or four of those Segway tours, and I thought they were awesome. You move *way* faster than walking and with no effort. Pioneer Square to Kerry Park and back in under an hour? Easy.

The problems are the cost and where to safely store the thing when you reach your destination. If they were $2k new, I'd own one.
Is the helmet really necessary?
Went on a Segway tour through Chicago once. Yup, those damn things looks stupid as shit, or at least, the idiots on them do...but motherfucker are they a fuckton of fun to actually ride.
#23: judging by the idiotic way some of us idiots were riding them, hell yeah, the helmets are necessary.
I have to say, they do look like fun. Also I don't worry about some some "I, Asshole" type thinking I look stupid.
Things that are enjoyable are wholly unnecessary.

It's not an apt addition to the analogy

Segway: Unnecessary use of motors for walking
E-bike: Unnecessary use of motors for cycling
Car: Appropriate use of motor for fast travel


Sounds cool...a person doing this would no doubt have lots of bikecam footage of them riding. Got any YouTubes of Facebook vids of your bike in action?

I used to care what other people thought about what I did. But then Reagan got elected and peer pressure wasn't such a big thing anymore.
So, I have a Solowheel, not a Segway. It's like a Segway but with only 1 wheel. I go from Capitol Hill to Downtown and back daily. Could I walk? Sometimes, yes. I use it for a few reasons:
1. I was diagnosed with subluxing patellas. Walking and running on flat land is ok, but anything going uphill hurts. Using my wheel stops my knees from popping out of place.
2. Traffic is so bad downtown, that without my wheel, I wouldn't be able to make my 5pm class, twice a week.
TLDR: I'm not lazy.
I've been diagnosed with not worrying what some judgmental twat thinks about my mode of transportation, but I still think segways are a bit pricey.
@28 I used an electric bike when I got tendinitis in my legs. Saved huge amounts of money over driving a car & didn't contribute to pollution. But if your legs work fine, an electric bike is usually pretty pointless... unless maybe you're biking 25 miles to work or something, and your e-bike can do that, and you can't do it on your own...
Hey, Anon, mind your own damn business. Why or where or how someone gets around the city is their business. The only personal transportation you should be worrying about is your own. Keep your pointy nose out of other people's rides.
Why? Let's see...1- Maybe they are going more than just a few miles (4+) and don't want to use a car or don't have a car. 2- Heart problem 3- Lung disease 4- severe asthma not yet under control 5- balance disorder 6- some other disability I can't think of at the moment that prevents someone from walking long distances because NOT EVERY PHYSICAL DISABILITY IS SOMETHING YOU CAN SEE!

Now I don't happen to own a Segway, but I recently developed adult onset asthma because of a severe dust allergy and my response to medication has been slow. I can't walk around very much at all and even then I have to use my inhaler. Meanwhile, my husband just had heart surgery and he can't walk around very much right now. Both of us have working legs. That doesn't change the fact that my lungs won't let me get very far, and my husband's heart won't let him get very far until he recovers. But you can't tell that by looking!
OP is obviously hipster trash who cares deeply about looking "cool".
l'm going to assume you're talking about folks without disabilities. My knee -which needs a full replacement, but l'm too young and active not to need another in ten years- gave out on me regularly until l had meniscus surgery a few years back. That is still not the majority of the problem, it just took care of the most immediate pain. But every so often, my knee gives out, and as elitist (or whatever) as Segways are, l seriously considered and researched getting one at some point, no matter how douchey l might've looked tooling around on one. l spent a good portion of my time on a motorized cart at the grocery store, and it was humiliating at 36 years of age.

Appreciate your joints. When they give out, you'll wish you had a motherfuckin Segway, asshole. lt's not always just a trend.

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