Johnny Sampson

Mayor Jenny Durkan just finished her 365th day in office, but The Stranger did not commemorate this milestone with any kind of "year in review" stories. If you want to be bored to death by ankle-deep reviews of our mayor's first 12 months, you will need to hit up the other 2.5 media outlets in town. We find these kinds of stories to be arbitrary, useless, and only interesting to the journalists who write them. We instead commemorated Durkan's first year by writing about beers that taste like smoke, Lena Dunham's diarrhea, and the driver killed by the elephant he hit. In case you're wondering, though, the mayor signed her first annual budget at that big fancy-looking fire station near Pioneer Square. The $5.9 billion budget included $1 billion for utilities, $700 million for cops and firefighters, and zero dollars for The Stranger's pet project—a municipally owned underground mushroom farm. Give us some of that pork barrel so we can grow some mushrooms under the city, Jenny!